As guys, we love to make fun of women in how they always hold some clothing up and ask, "Do you think I'd look fat in this?" (Answer: A) Oh yeah! You'd be a bloated whale! B) No, of course not ["You're just saying that to make me feel better!"] Of course not honey. ["Liar! You think I'm fat!"] C) Proceed to bang your head against the wall.)
Women spend all day 'putting on their faces' (as if they were born without one). They waste countless hours shopping for the 'perfect' dress, reading countless magazines for 'fashion tips', etc. We make fun of them, mock them for it.
But women are obsessed about beauty because of us. It is our fault. After all, if a woman could cure all of the diseases, compose symphonies, and write literature, we would only remember her for how she looked.
We, on the other hand, are obsessed with our jobs, our status, and our brains. For us, looks usually translates into working out = building our muscles = appearing to have more 'protection power' to the chicks.
Women look much more for 'the complete package' with men. Women would take a less attractive man that can make her feel good, make her laugh, make her FEEL romantic and all those other goodly good feelings women are addicted to then a handsome bloke who doesn't know what he's doing and doesn't know how to make her feel good.
Men are also more discriminating. Girls that don't look good have a very very hard time since looks is what men always screen on.
Being a not as so good looking guy is not a vice. Being a guy with a bad personality IS.
Less attractive guys with great personalities will always have HUGE advantages over attractive guys with bad personalities.
Women may be attracted to you by your looks and give you more auditions, but it is the personality that keeps them.
Nice guys' personalities is that of supplicating, never disagreeing, always going, "Whatever you want dear." Jerks' personalities is that of not caring, always self centered, and always going, "Relationship? That just means sex on a semi-annual basis, right?" Nice Guys are great for relationships, jerks are great for attracting but both lose in the long run.
Guys want good looks. But women want CHARMING, FUNNY, SUCCESSFUL, and INTELLIGENT guys that will sweep them off their feet.
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Thursday, July 22, 2004
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Pook #21 - The Secret of the Jerk
(NOTE: This post ended up being longer than I expected, MUCH LONGER. "You should have divided it in many posts." Why write a galaxy of posts when one article will do!)
No, your eyes are not mistaken. The guy with the beautiful woman is a jerk and/or ugly guy! What is he doing with her? Can she not see? Has she not eyes?
Alas! The poor male looks around, knows not who to turn to, and eventually sums up that the universe is a cruel and mysterious personnage who deals out no answers, offers no solutions, and gives out no explanations especially for the enigma of all enigmas, the beautiful woman! Obviously, something is amiss. How do these ugly to average looking guys get such babes? How do these cruel, stupid, barbaric males get these feminine jewels? Are they following a special trick? Are they super 'confidant'? What is their secret? Or are they even aware of their secret?
But what if nothing is amiss? What if this is all correct to the will of Nature? Where leaves the Don Juan?
Oh, there she is! The beautiful woman! The ornament of the world! The dream in flesh! She stands aloof on the platform and says, "Gentlemen! How are you to win me?"
And around the platform, a thousand mouths cry:
"Confidence."
"Humor."
"Patterns."
"Kino."
"Chocolate."
"Poetry."
"By ignoring you."
"By totally focusing on you."
"Puffed muscles."
"Flowers."
"Spikey hair."
"Endless gifts."
"Mirroring."
"Leather jackets."
"Eliciting values."
"Sparkly clothes."
"Bouncy personality."
"Romance."
"Dinner. Lobster!"
"Compliments."
"Guitar songs."
And she laughs only to say, "These are very well and good, gentlemen. But are you not aware that imitation is suicide? You forget that confidence is experience, that puffed muscles are not to be a masculine dress, that any guy can buy me lobster, and that countless many can sing the guitar songs. Are you so unaware of what I need?"
But a lone voice speaks from the floor: "You, madam, are to win me! For I am the prize to be won!"
And with that, she giggles in glee. "For every one of you, there are a thousand guys willing to offer me the above. It is cute that you are different. But why am I with the ugly guy at the end? Why do I prefer the jerk?" And with this the lone voice had no answer.
Then comes the great exclamation: "Because he is a man!"
"Yes but no," she snobbily laughs.
"Because he is disrespectful."
"He is that but no."
"Because he is an animal."
"Not at all!"
"Because he has super ego!"
"True, but no."
"Because he wears his cap backwards!"
"Hah!"
"Because he is rough and mean."
"Nope!"
And then a golden arrow shaft of voice pierced the confusion, penetrated deep within the truth, spread those warm gooey moans of ecstasy throughout, and made her come with such surprising clarity that she screams in delight. For the voice said,
"Extreme masculinity!"
"Oh Pook!" she smiled in radiance. "How right you are!" And all the guys' mouths turn into a big O as the beautiful woman ran off the platform into the arms of Pook.
Having satisfied none of her demands, what she ends up with (the ugly/average guy) becomes seemingly contradictory. Extreme masculinity? What answer can that be?
Oh women! Can you give us no explanations other than the ones that send us off the cliff? Can you not explain yourselves to our perplexed male minds? Alas, it is like speaking to a block. She gives expressions but not answers. She gives demands but not secrets. How smart men may be until they enter a bar! How knowledgable they seem until they're before a woman!
The Mystery of Mysteries
There are three mysteries to the world: the rise and fall of civilizations, fruitcake, and why beautiful women go for jerks.
Leaving fruitcake and the rise and fall of civilizations for other posts, let us concern ourselves with why beautiful women go for jerks. WHAT IS NATURE'S SECRET?
And, likewise, a sea of mouths with authoritative tongues chant out the usual 'answers':
"Confidence"
"Dominance
"Unpredictability"
"Hard to get"
"Selfishness"
"Rudeness"
And so on. These 'experts' or 'wise sages' merely look at the jerk as a fixed element and classify personality traits or even physical traits. Fools adopt the personality/physical traits. But imitation is suicide.
Why go for the fool's gold when the real gold is in your grasp?
There are things so simple in Nature and life that we utterly confuse them and ourselves with our stupid philosophies (jerks don't need websites like these!). Sexuality is one of these. Our countless reading of seduction over the internet is full of months if not years. Where has this got you? Yes, you feel you are always right on the edge of THE SECRETS to end your heartaches and tensions but, at the end of the day, you are still in front of your computer.
Someone said to me, "What an odd definition of Man you gave, Pook! A guy not afraid of his testosterone? Surely it is more heroic."
But it is entirely about testosterone. Girls are attracted to GUYS, not wimps, not nice guys, not chumps, but GUYS. Rather then trying to build and discover some killer philosophy to ease your troubles, why not accept the structure Nature has already set up? The secret of the jerks is that it is so widespread, common, and plain that since it is all around us we can't even distinguish it.
Nature is process, always seeking and devouring. Nothing remains set; everything's in cycles. Rather than classifying the ACTIONS of the jerk and merely DUPLICATING them, let us adopt the SOURCE so the actions come natural and without thought or effort.
Pook stands on the fruitcake and calls the crowd around him.
Gentlemen! Do say: what type of woman will the Nicest Nice Guy attract?
"Sperm whales."
"Hags."
"B*tches."
"Uglo girls."
Indeed! What trait commonly unites all these girls that end up with the pathetic Nice Guy?
Silence.
Gentlemen! Your silence most offends me! Sure, these girls may be sweet. Sure, they may be smart. Sure, they may be many things. Yet, there is one thing that they aren't. They are not feminine. They are not girlish.
The men nod.
And, likewise, what are these Nice Guys, these blobs of appeasing rolls of gooish flesh? Are these the men of the world?
"NO!"
These boys are not exactly feminine, but they certainly aren't masculine. They are neither. They are the androgenous blob who, without a spine, is clay to fit to any woman's desires or whims. Nice guys love women as a drowner loves a life preserver. He clings on to her because he cannot swim the waters of Nature. Tossed and tossed he becomes through his love life.
The Masculine Male
Pook walks toward a bubbly Nice Guy with a needle of Man-ness.
"No! The prick will hurt me!"
Fine, die a painful long death of Regret, Loneliness, and Frustration. Any other takers?
Another Nice Guy volunteered.
See? This fella knows that a momentary pain is prefarable to consistant suffering.
Pook puts the shot into the Nice Guy and injects him with testosterone.
Now, gentlemen, watch the effects.
The Nice Guy no longer fears what he desires. He sees the woman he wants. He approaches her.
Why do jerks approach women? To marry them? No! The jerk is operating not out of control with 'that head down there' but rather being influenced properly by his testosterone. He sees what he wants and goes and gets it. He does not apologize for it. He does not try to rationalize it. He does not analyze it. There are no stupid philosophies running around in the jerk's head.
The Nice Guy gets rejected by the woman!
Oh oh! Poor Nice Guy! But look, something is changing. Look at the anger building up in him. Something is being charged within him. It is frustration. It is anger. The worst thing for him to do would be to cry and duck his head in the sand. Constant rejection requires one of two solutions: either lower your standards or increase your standards in yourself.
But it is true that standards do not enter the jerk's mind. He gets frustrated and angry. He tries again with MUCH LESS awkardness. Nature's system is at work here, chiseling his social exterior. He gets the dates.
The Nice Guy gets dumped after a few dates.
Oh dear! What happened!? Why, perhaps the Nice Guy was trying to mock earlier jerk behavior and remetamorphed into an AFC eventually before his chick! Imitation IS suicide. No wonder chicks are so hard for honesty!
Do jerks really care on pleasing the women in the spirit of altruism and glorious relationship?
"Yes."
Hush you! The jerks obviously DO NOT care about the women in such a manner. Their testosterone says, "I have needs that need to be fulfilled. Entertain me." And so the jerks come off self-centered not because they ARE self-centered, but because they are closer to their own male nature and seek to satisfy their thirst.
The nice guy sees that fun is merely being around a beautiful woman. The jerk is a bit more... active. He wants to have fun his way. She is along for the ride.
It has been well known that action dates (ex: dancing, bowling, rock climbing, etc.) work MUCH BETTER than regular dates (coffee, dinner, movie, etc). Rather than merely matching the effect (the action date), let us focus on the cause.
The jerk would obviously skateboard and play basketball than to sit at dinner and watch the girl flap her gums. Testosterone has been shown to create more ACTION in the individual. Jerks (i.e. testosteronized males) do the action NATURALLY. Rather than worrying about making yourself do action dates, get yourself in that natureset and action dates will become the only comfortable choice you could make.
The Nice Guy gets dumped because he hardly made any moves.
Oh no! We know how the girl gets mistreated and will talk to her girly friend (the nice guy) about it. We see the abuse and we think, "Oh heavens! Am I to be abusive to get the girl?" What is this abuse? Is she really hurt? Or is she merely mad that she has failed in her mission: to sterilize and link to the masculinized dude?
"But the guy stands her up all the time, etc. etc."
It is not because he stands her up. It is because she knows she is not loved by him. Her feminine powers are not ensnaring him. It is a feminine failure.
The girl sleeps with the jerk and he leaves her. We, as guys, think the abuse is the jerk sleeping with the girl merely to 'use' her (and motherly harpies try to feminize us into not doing 'this'). Rather, the 'abuse' is that the girl realizes she could not keep the guy. She 'was not woman enough'.
Nature's Path Leads to Women
As men, we are governed by two masters: Mind and Nature. (NOT mind and body. Nature refers to the processes and cycles that our bodies are only but a part.)
Both fight one another.
Mind: "The finest philosophies will get us the women."
Nature: "You bore me. Unleash me."
But what will get the women?
Mind: "Calculation. Seduction."
Nature: "Instinct. Masculinity."
And why should you get any women?
Mind: "Because everyone else is, and I am not."
Nature: "Because I am MALE and she is FEMALE."
Now let us throw some obstacles at the two. Let us say they are unceasingly unsuccessful in obtaining the beautiful women.
What are your reactions?
Mind: "This is obviously a failure within my calculation, my framing of the events. I will solve this with more seduction
research, essay writing on message boards, for I treat sexual dynamics like an academic degree."
Nature: "The failure is in not being male enough. Increased masculinity is the solution."
But you who enraged the poets and tortured the philosophers, please please elaborate.
Nature: When the embryo is at three months, it is unisex. It is both sexes at once. Alas, from then it divides into a gender (of which we cannot choose, of which enforces a code of conduct and duties of behavior we cannot control or understand. And we call ourselves free...)
Mind: Yes, yes. One half turns male, the other female. It is in my books.
Nature: Then I shall burn your library. For Nature always has more secrets then you can decipher. Gender is not all or none.
There is a MIX.
Mind: But this is in my books. In Sex and Character, Weineger says that from birth, males and females are divided. Some males are 70% male, 30% female. Others are 80% male, 20% female. It is vice versa for women. We know of effininate men. We know of tom boys. Attraction is not a choice. A male that is 60% male and 40% female will attract a female that is 60% female and 40% male. A female that is 90% female and 10% male will attract a male that is 90% male and 10% female. It is a fact that some men are more feminine than others. This attraction scale is destiny: we mate with what fills the void the best. This is the mix that Weineger speaks of, is marked in the very first chapter of his book and made everything else possible.
Nature: I wonder if you would talk then till doomsday? Your followers, your philosophers, lawyers, academics, prattle and rattle on just like you! You are completely unaware of the seasons of life that color and sparkle the world. But I hesitate!
Mind: Like the flow and ebb of the moon.
Nature: Quiet you! Weineger and others of his ilk made good attempts at trying to discover my secrets. They tried to 'pop' themselves out of my earthly cycle and peer upon my work with the eyes of a god. Melancholy is my vengeance. Nieztche and Keirkegard, I drove those two mad. For Weineger I made his life so unpleasant that he had to shoot himself.
Mind: Is this your only vengeance?
Nature: No. It is reserved for anyone who frustrates my cycle. A man who persistantly stays single becomes a public temptation. I chisel away at him to make him more appropriate and correct the purpose of getting the women and carrying on my work.
Mind: But he will not do this. And your melancholy will not work due to the female attention he recieves.
Nature: I make and unmake the Adonis. The beautiful boy, refusing to use my gift for my purpose, enjoys being slaughtered by the elephant's tusk, the early untimely death. I will not be defied.
Mind: Yet, Weineger explained you.
Nature: Fool! Your 'mix' is all wrong. It is true that it is not simply 'male' and 'female'. But there is androgenous, where the male levels are so low in the male that he is barely a male. Or that the female levels are so low in the female that she is barely a female.
Mind: You divided us before birth.
Nature: And I inject you again with my touch at puberty. The boy must become a man and the girl a woman. But, alas, many attempt to buck my ways to follow YOU. Nerds, geeks, we know the labels. The longer a man tries to ignore the fact of my mission and cycle, the more pain and loneliness I will add into him until he has no choice to act.
Mind: You are vicious.
Nature: It gets the job done. But Weineger is wrong. We are not born onto a spectrum. Rather, we can add to it or decrease it. The element of attraction is destruction.
Mind: Destruction?
Nature: If a woman is amazingly female, what is the result?
Mind: Hordes of men hunt after her.
Nature: Yes. Extremeness of spectrum is an anomaly that must be seeked out and destroyed. The female is feminine with matter. Girls at an early age are aware the effects their bodies have on young men. They know they are like a magnet. But who do they go for? The beautiful woman is the extreme female? Why, she is seeking the extreme male. By the actions of the jerk, who can say that he is not looking for destruction? He finds it in her and she finds it in him. I demand sterilization of the two. The more successes they have, the more and more it is drained from them. Eventually, they settle for one mate and begin the march toward the androgenous.
Mind: So the beautiful woman is attracted to the jerk because...
Nature: It is better to say that the extreme female woman is attracted to the extreme male man.
And this is the utterly simple secret. Jerks are not super confidant, not superior in all seduction knowledge. Jerks are testosteronized males. This seperates them from the Nice Guys who still defy the flooding of testosterone Nature inflicts on them.
Science of Testosterone
Be a Man!: "A Man is one who is not afraid of his testosterone."
This will seem incredibly basic. But to illustrate the effects, look at the effects of men who must be injected with artificial testosterone because (for whatever reason) their body isn't making enough (usually due to having HIV).
One HIV positive guy shares his differences with the before and after shots:
His weight increases from 165 pounds to 185 pounds. The collar size goes from 15 to 17 1/2, the chest from 40 to 44. His appetite expands beyond measure. Before he was constantly napping. Now he has enough energy for daily workouts and strict work schedules. Before, depression was a regular feature. Now, it is a 'distant memory'. With the testosterone shots, he feels better to recover from life's curveballs, more persistant, more alive.
There are more effects. With the testosterone, he feels more energy. The attention span shortens. He finds it harder to concentrate on writing and feels he must exercise. The wit becomes quicker, the mind faster, and the judgement more impulsive. It is literally a 'rush'.
Without the testosterone, he finds himself more reserved. The energy still is there but is geared towards interaction rather than action, toward pride rather than lust. He rarely looks for dates or thinks of approaching women without it. But with it, he is constantly scanning the women for potential dates and socializing.
With testosterone comes increased debating type attitudes, and increased anger. Driving makes him scream at the other cars and 'stupid drivers'. (This is oddly reminiscent of Thomas Jefferson's personality when he was always said to be 'unemotional' except when riding a horse and became 'overly' emotional.) With testosterone comes increased impatience, increased edginess, but increased self-confidence.
Now do these traits of the under-testosteronized male and over-testosteronized male match the Nice Guy and Jerk? They do most accurately.
For the rest, we require a scientist.
A scientist appears.
There you are! Oh, Mr. Scientist, do tell us more about Testosterone.
"I'd love to, Pook.
"Testosterone, oddly enough, is a chemical closely related to cholesterol. It was first isolated by a Dutch scientist in 1935 from mice testicles and successfully synthesized by the German biologist Adolf Butenandt. Although testosterone is often thought of as the definition of maleness, both men and women produce it. Men produce it in their testicles; women produce it in their ovaries and adrenal glands. The male body converts some testosterone to estradiol, a female hormone, and the female body has receptors for testosterone, just as the male body does. That's why women who want to change their sex are injected with testosterone and develop male characteristics, like deeper voices, facial hair and even baldness. The central biological difference between adult men and women, then, is not that men have testosterone and women don't. It's that men produce much, much more of it than women do. An average woman has 40 to 60 nanograms of testosterone in a deciliter of blood plasma. An average man has 300 to 1,000 nanograms per deciliter."
Ok, ok, Mr. Scientist. You are putting this Pook to sleep. The EFFECTS of testosterone. Focus on the EFFECTS.
"Certainly, Pook.
"Testosterone's effects start early -- really early. At conception, every embryo is female and unless hormonally altered will remain so. You need testosterone to turn a fetus with a Y chromosome into a real boy, to masculinize his brain and body. Men experience a flood of testosterone twice in their lives: in the womb about six weeks after conception and at puberty. The first fetal burst primes the brain and the body, endowing male fetuses with the instinctual knowledge of how to respond to later testosterone surges. The second, more familiar adolescent rush -- squeaky voices, facial hair and all -- completes the process."
Go on.
"The effect of testosterone is systemic. It engenders both the brain and the body. Apart from the obvious genital distinction, other differences between men's and women's bodies reflect this: body hair, the ratio of muscle to fat, upper-body strength and so on. But testosterone leads to behavioral differences as well. Since it is unethical to experiment with human embryos by altering hormonal balances, much of the evidence for this idea is based on research conducted on animals. A Stanford research group, for example, as reported in Deborah Blum's book "Sex on the Brain," injected newborn female rats with testosterone. Not only did the female rats develop penises from their clitorises, but they also appeared fully aware of how to use them."
What!
"Indeed. But let me continue."
Yes, I am sorry.
"And these female rats were trying to have sex with other females with merry abandon. Male rats who had their testosterone locked after birth, on the other hand, saw their penises wither or disappear entirely and presented themselves to the female rats in a passive, receptive way. Other scientists, theorizing that it was testosterone that enabled male zebra finches to sing, injected mute female finches with testosterone. Sure enough, the females sang. Species in which the female is typically more aggressive, like hyenas in female-run clans, show higher levels of testosterone among the females than among the males. Female sea snipes, which impregnate the males, and leave them to stay home and rear the young, have higher testosterone levels than their mates. Typical "male" behavior, in other words, corresponds to testosterone levels, whether exhibited by chromosomal males or females."
But does this apply to Humans?
"The evidence certainly suggests that it does, though much of the "proof" is inferred from accidents. Pregnant women who were injected with progesterone (chemically similar to testosterone) in the 1950's to avoid miscarriage had daughters who later reported markedly tomboyish childhoods."
Incredible!
"Ditto girls born with a disorder that causes their adrenal glands to produce a hormone like testosterone rather than the more common cortisol. The moving story, chronicled in John Colapinto's book "As Nature Made Him," of David Reimer, who as an infant was surgically altered after a botched circumcision to become a girl, suggests how long-lasting the effect of fetal testosterone can be. Despite a ruthless attempt to socialize David as a girl, and to give him the correct hormonal treatment to develop as one, his behavioral and psychological makeup was still ineradicably male. Eventually, with the help of more testosterone, he became a full man again. Female-to-male transsexuals report a similar transformation when injected with testosterone. One, Susan/Drew Seidman, described her experience in The Village Voice last November. 'My sex-drive went through the roof,' Seidman recalled. 'I felt like I had to have sex once a day or I would die. . . . I was into porn as a girl, but now I'm really into porn.' For Seidman, becoming a man was not merely physical. Thanks to testosterone, it was also psychological."
So what makes a Man?
"I don't know what exactly makes a man. But one thing I can tell you for sure: it is not his penis."
Oh wise sage! Wonderful scientist!
But do not confuse testosterone with Popeye's spinach. Nature says, "Testosterone levels will rise when the situation warrants it. Survival is the priority." So in cases of danger, of war, the testosterone levels increase. When in a strip club or viewing a porno website, testosterone levels also rise. Men with higher testosterone achieve psychological dominance, have high self esteem, and move through the world with natural confidence.
"But Pook. I have more to add."
Tarry! Then I will step aside and let you speak.
"Testosterone is clearly correlated in both men and women with psychological dominance, confident physicality and high self-esteem. In most combative, competitive environments, especially physical ones, the person with the most testosterone wins. Put any two men in a room together and the one with more testosterone will tend to dominate the interaction."
Gentlemen, this is your secret 'ingredient' to that 'alpha-maleness' you keep longing for.
"Working women have higher levels of testosterone than women who stay at home, and the daughters of working women have higher levels of testosterone than the daughters of housewives. A 1996 study found that in lesbian couples in which one partner assumes the male, or "butch," role and another assumes the female, or "femme," role, the "butch" woman has higher levels of testosterone than the "femme" woman."
Ahh! So in lesbian couples, one acts male and the other acts female.
"In naval medical tests, midshipmen have been shown to have higher average levels of testosterone than plebes. Actors tend to have more testosterone than ministers, according to a 1990 study. Among 700 male prison inmates in a 1995 study, those with the highest testosterone levels tended to be those most likely to be in trouble with the prison authorities and to engage in unprovoked violence. This is true among women as well as among men, according to a 1997 study of 87 female inmates in a maximum security prison."
Whohoo! The key to dominance!
"Careful Pook.
"Although high testosterone levels often correlate with dominance in interpersonal relationships, it does not guarantee more social power. Testosterone levels are higher among blue-collar workers, for example, than among white-collar workers, according to a study of more than 4,000 former military personnel conducted in 1992."
But is testosterone like adrenaline? Or does it respond to long-term surrounding environment stimuli?
"Well Pook, studies have shown that inner-city youths, often exposed to danger in high-crime neighborhoods, may generate higher testosterone levels than unthreatened, secluded suburbanites. And so high testosterone levels may not merely be responses to a violent environment; they may subsequently add to it in what becomes an increasingly violent, sexualized cycle."
Increase in violence AND sexuality? Then it's no accident that testosterone-soaked ghettos foster both high levels of crime and high levels of illegitimacy!
"Indeed, Pook. In the same way, declines in violence and crime may allow testosterone levels to drop among young inner-city males, generating a virtuous trend of further reductions in crime and birth rates. This may help to explain why crime can decline precipitously, rather than drift down slowly, over time."
But what for the men who enter that dungeon, I mean marriage?
"Studies have also shown that men in long-term marriages see their testosterone levels progressively fall and their sex drives subsequently decline. It is as if their wives successfully tame them, reducing their sexual energy to a level where it is more unlikely to seek extramarital outlets. A 1993 study showed that single men tended to have higher levels of testosterone than married men and that men with high levels of testosterone turned out to be more likely to have had a failed marriage. Of course, if you start out with higher testosterone levels, you may be more likely to fail at marriage, stay in the sexual marketplace, see your testosterone increase in response to this and so on."
So what is the entire point, Mr. Brainy Guy?
"This, then, is what it comes down to: testosterone is a facilitator of risk -- physical, criminal, personal. Without the
influence of testosterone, the cost of these risks might seem to far outweigh the benefits. But with testosterone charging through the brain, caution is thrown to the wind. The influence of testosterone may not always lead to raw physical confrontation. In men with many options it may influence the decision to invest money in a dubious enterprise, jump into an ill-advised sexual affair or tell an egregiously big whopper. At the time, all these decisions may make some sort of testosteroned sense."
It sounds like you are describing a US politician.
"Hush Pook."
Oh, I'm sorry. Continue.
"The effects of testosterone are not secret; neither is the fact that men have far more if it than women. But why? As we have seen, testosterone is not synonymous with gender; in some species, it is the female who has most of it. The relatively new science of evolutionary psychology offers perhaps the best explanation for why that's not the case in humans. For neo-Darwinians, the aggressive and sexual aspects of testosterone are related to the division of labor among hunter-gatherers in our ancient but formative evolutionary past. This division -- men in general hunted, women in general gathered -- favored differing levels of testosterone. Women need some testosterone -- for self-defense, occasional risk-taking, strength -- but not as much as men. Men use it to increase their potential to defeat rivals, respond to physical threats in strange environments, maximize their physical attractiveness, prompt them to spread their genes as widely as possible and defend their home if necessary."
But women are attracted, in the physical imagery sense, to the feminine looking guys. How can testosterone increase physical attractiveness? I do not understand.
"But the picture, as most good evolutionary psychologists point out, is more complex than this. Men who are excessively testosteroned are not that attractive to most women. Although they have the genes that turn women on -- strong jaws and pronounced cheekbones, for example, are correlated with high testosterone -- they can also be precisely the unstable, highly sexed creatures that childbearing, stability-seeking women want to avoid. There are two ways, evolutionary psychologists hazard, that women have successfully squared this particular circle. One is to marry the sweet class nerd and have an affair with the college quarterback: that way you get the good genes, the good sex and the stable home."
This has always been the problem. Nice Guy or Jerk?
"There is a third path."
A third way? And what is it?
"The third way is to find a man with variable testosterone levels, who can be both stable and nurturing when you want him to be and yet become a muscle-bound, bristly gladiator when the need arises. This is sadly more easily said than done."
Ahh! The secret is to CONTROL the sexuality or else it will control you! The jerk is entirely controlled by it. The Nice Guy recoils from the abuses he sees in the jerk and becomes merely static on the woman's radar.
To be a jerk in control of his sexuality is to cease being 'jerk-like'. For Nature has set up this game of life we all play.
Learn the system and work within it.
No Nice Guy in Animal World
Now we require a farmer.
A farmer appears.
What are the effects of testosterone on animals?
The farmer looks at Pook as if he was crazy.
Yes, the effects.
"Well, one thing with animals is that the female is usually the one more in heat, always searching for sex, than the male. Take female pigs. They go completely beserk."
Go on.
"But it is exactly what that scientist said. Nature dashes some tesosterone to create the male at first. Then, at puberty, Nature floods the male with testosterone. If you neuter the animal before this flood, you will have a great pet."
And if you don't?
"Well, you end up with an unhappy beast. Male pigs must be neutered or the testosterone will flood the body, making its meat worthless. This is why we don't eat bull."
So our animal friends, when testostoronized, are merely to mate? There is no other strength in it?
"That isn't true. If you neuter the dog before he gets testosteronized, he makes a great pet. But he will not make a good sheepdog. It's almost like his will of action gets taken out."
And so is the same with Humans! What do Nice Guys become but human pets for the female? And just as animals use their sexuality for action, for a higher purpose, so do Humans.
The Women Agree
Even on this site's discussion of 'Nice Guys versus Jerks', read what some of what the women had to say.
Italics will be the woman. Regular text will be da Pook Man.
First Lady
Alright, I read some of your responses from women and noticed that most of them seemed older.
And probably uglier! It is the pretty chicks we want. Too bad pictures weren't included with their words!
And since a lot of guys who go here seem to be around my age (17), I figured I would put my 2 cents in.
Here it comes...
I don't like the nice guy. To me he's a definite turn off. He seems too timid to pursue intimacy, and personally I love it when a guy is real horny (as long as he's attractive and knows when to stop). It makes me feel a lot more comfortable.
Too timid to pursue intimacy! Perhaps he needs a shot of testosterone? Notice how she loves a guy being horny (just not a
stupid type of horny). She feels COMFROTABLE when the guy is following his nature rather than acting out stupid philosophies.
I'm not saying I like jerks, I like the funny guy who always has something interesting or colorful to say. Normally girls look for someone of their 'niceness quotient' or lower. Feeling like the jerk in the relationship is no fun. Of course, neither is being the '*****' so it's totally up to the chick. Maybe u nice guys should get a bit more bold, not necessarily
'jerk-ish'
Fortune favors the bold.
Second Lady
Women start to see the light in their late twenties. Some men never do.
As women get older, they become less feminine in that they are rapidly aging. Yes, Nice Guys can get girls. All the girls we DON'T want.
My advice to the nice guys whose decency might be hampering their dating success is to widen the pool of women they consider.
Translated: go for uglier/older girls.
A current philosophy among some (male) dating gurus is to never date a woman over 30, as they are too set in their ways, hate men, and are starting to lose their looks anyway. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Older women have developed depth of character, have learned that "nice guys" are the way to go, and are in their sexual prime. In addition, they know who they are sexually, and are unashamed and unafraid to experiment and to take and give pleasure. Sex with a woman over 35 might be some of the best sex a man will ever have.
Over 35! She can't have many children by then! At that age she is losing her purpose of sexuality.
The problem with dating women under 25, which seems to be the goal for many men of all age groups, is that one will have to contend with the image-seeking behavior of youth. Unless a man is equally shallow and image-driven---and most men over 30 are not---women in their 30s, 40s, and up can be a goldmine of interesting and wonderful experiences.
We know that the young women go for the jerks. But notice how the desexualized male (i.e. Nice Guy) wins with the desexualized female (i.e. women in their 30s and 40s)?
Third Woman
I date only nice guys. Most women want to date a nice guy. But men are being classified into two groups, nice or jerks.
That doesn't cover the subject. People are more complex than that. Neither sex can be grouped into just two groups.
Of course.
The "NICE GUY" is often a man who doesn't have a life. And neither sex is attracted to this type of person. A truly nice guy is hard to find. A true jerk most women don't want. I think we try to make people fit into a category instead of getting to know them. You can't always know what a woman wants based on another woman's choices.
Why not? Women seem to follow the same pattern of going for the jerk.
It is true that the Nice Guy has no life. It is because he lacks the ACTION that the jerk has.
I love a nice guy. To me nothing is sexier than a guy who has the guts to say he really likes me on a first date. And yes I do continue dating him! I must clear one last thing up "Nice guys do FINISH last" and I find that to be very sexy! He is the one I'll see again.
This woman must be fat or old or something.
Fourth Girl
Sorry, but its no more true that women prefer jerks than it is true that men prefer *****es.
The thing is, the nice guys who are with a woman are not out there complaining that women don't like nice guys. The nice guys who are not with a woman will express their loneliness, in a nice way, from time to time. The jerks who are not with a woman never complain about it. They lie and say they do have a woman, or many women, or they don't want a woman. Nice guys don't lie like that.
The jerk is a challenge. The nice guy wants to go on Oprah's show.
The truth is that nice guys are alone from time to time. The truth is that there are plenty of people out there looking for the right one. Keep looking, you will find her.
It is interesting that women are all united in the belief that there is 'one for everyone'. It's as if they are well aware of Nature's invisible hand demanding union.
PS. You are a guy, right, so looks are very important to you? Lets say you think you could not be with less than an "8".
I know huge compromise is not possible, but just try to accept a "7" or a "6" perhaps. Women get a lot better looking TO YOU after you know and love them. Give it a try. If I had a brother and he was a nice guy, the above advice is what I would have given him.
Notice how many of these women are missing the point here. The point is to get the BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. Some of these girl's solutions is to not go for the beautiful ones!
But all the attributes of the jerk they love (the action, the horniness, the unpredictability, the exciting life) are all effects of a testosteronized male.
Fifth Girl
I don't think that women are attracted to jerks, but they are attracted to men that illuminate power. Those type of men(powerful, strong and masculine) are sometimes jerks, which accounts for the confusion.
Finally! A woman links the jerk to masculinity. But it is the effects of testosterone she sees.
The nice guy sometimes is not strong or powerful and that's what turns women off. So in essence, it's not the fact that they are nice, it's that they may be lacking other attractive qualities that out weigh the niceness.
Which the Nice Guys do NOT have or are afraid of (and sterilize themselves with 'nice' philosophies).
Ultimately, I love nice guys that illuminate strength and masculinity. There is no better combination.
It becomes quite simple:
NICE GUY: Male who is scared of his testosterone and seeks to sterilize himself with his niceness.
JERK: A male who merely acts male. He is controlled by his testosterone. This is why he gets into trouble.
GREAT GUY: A guy who can CONTROL his sexuality and acts male WITHOUT getting into trouble.
Sixth Girl
I got the e-mail about the nice guys vs. jerks. I'm totally for nice guys in a relationship, but when it comes to lusting or dreaming about a guy, it's usually the jerks, b/c most jerks have the nice bodies and have that something that's sexy about them.
Can you not see the pattern emerging? Are we not seeing the Jerk and Nice Guy for what they truly are?
Seventh Girl
I recognized some time ago exactly what I was doing... I was looking for a specific "character," for lack of a better
word. It's epitomized by Judd Nelson in "The Breakfast Club," or by Elvis Presley in "King Creole" for your readers who aren't up on the 80's John Hughes phenomenon. Essentially, they're "bad boys with heart." I've dated guys who are nice - JUST nice, and I get bored after about three dates. "Bad boys" are much more interesting, of course, although it's not a wish of women that these guys are REALLY bad. Misunderstood would be a better word.
Check out the local oldies station for "Leader of the Pack" and you'll get the idea. A guy who's a troublemaker enough to be dangerous and daring and fun and keep life interesting, but who is a real sweetheart underneath. Hell, even when I was in 8th grade, I was much more infatuated with Jason Bateman's character on Silver Spoons (the best friend/next door neighbor who was always causing trouble to get attention from parents he thought didn't care) than Ricky Schroeder's... Ricky was so sweet he was saccharine.
The problem that I've run into, as I'm sure many women have, is that most of these "bad boys" don't seem to have the good hearts we seek. What you see is what you get.
This is because they are CONTROLLED by it. The only way to get both, and be the desire of every woman, is to understand it and CONTROL it.
By the time you realize it, you may have been dating this jerk for a while. When you ditch him, it's "on with the search." For the same damned thing. This is where guys will get the idea that jerks get all the women. They see us in the process of the search. What they need to understand is that we're not looking for some nasty idiot; behind it all is the wish to find that guy who can be trouble to everyone else but nice to us. Just like Judd.
Eighth Girl
Nice guys vs. jerks isn't the real issue here, it is all about confidence. The major difference between nice guys and jerks is this: if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the perfect "nice" thing that he will totally flub it. The "nice" one ends up stumbling away from the object of his desires with his tail caught between his legs ... for those who don't already realize, this is NOT the impression you want to make!
A jerk, on the other hand, appears to have been blessed with ability to approach anyone and say just what's on his mind completely disregarding any of the repercussions. He just does it. I have no clue how he does it. But DAMN, the man who has the confidence to accomplish that has caught my eye for the night whether he wants it or not!
What does this say? She is saying: "Stop trying to say the perfect thing!" This was why I left 'Seduction' behind and gone the Natural route. It is more fun, less headaches, and gets better effects.
Ninth Girl
Don't think women don't like nice guys. There is an initial appeal to a jerk, but it doesn't last long. As long as you don't act desperate and have a little something going for you, believe me, a nice guy CAN finish first - and with the girl of his dreams.
Translated: Treat yourself as the PRIZE to be won.
This does solve a lot of errors but it is not enough. Mastering the secret of the jerk optimizes your sexual appeal.
Tenth Girl
This is from the book (which I am sure many of you have read) called The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Ms. Rand's Objectivism was always a bit thorny going down philosophically. (And I know how women are the sexual ones which is strange with the person of Ms. Rand. Yet, Ms. Rand's 'noble hero' is entirely in the sexual realm. Her heroes are her ideal men.)
Objectivism is, in Ms. Rand's words, a 'noble' vision of Man which characters like John Galt as symbols. But Objectivism is more of a style of masculinity than it is a philosophy. Her heroes usually blast philosophical 'niceness' away.
In The Fountainhead, the hero (Roark) is not attractive and said to be even ugly. His rival, (Keating), is the pretty boy. But notice the effect that Roark has on Dominque, the extroadinarily beautiful woman. At the quarry, he does not seduce her. He literally rapes her (as virgin girls are often said to express as fantasy).
At a later party, the people notice Dominque (usually surrounded by desperate guys) show signs of attraction.
"And, my dear," asked Kiki Holcombe, "what did you think of that new one, you know, I saw you talking to him, that Howard Roark?"
"I think," said Dominique firmly, "that he is the most revolting person I've ever met."
"Oh, now, really?"
"Do you care for that sort of unbridled arrogance? I don't know what one could say for him, unless it's that he's terribly
good-looking, if that matters."
"Good-looking!? Are you being funny, Dominique?"
The beautiful woman is attracted to this ugly guy. But why?
"Why, my dear," said kiki, "he's not good-looking at all, but extremely masculine."
Extreme masculinity. This is what the beautiful woman wants.
Now for the males:
First Male
One thing to add on the nice guys V jerks thing: jerks win because in their selfish insensitivity they never hide their raw sexuality. Nice guys in their sensitivity hide their sexuality because they think it will oppress women.
This guy is on the right track.
Women are powerfully attracted to guys who are open with their sexuality, thus the jerks win.
EXACTLY!
Now it is important to realize that being open with your sexuality is not about being a macho wanker, but simply about not denying that you wanna have sex with her. She knows it anyway, and if you don't let the world know it, you're headed right for the friendship zone, which is great if you wanna chat all night only to see her waltz out the door and straight into bed with some ******* who just walked in, but useless if you wanna be the one helping her mess up her sheets.
SO TRUE!
To be open with your sexuality all you gotta do is be yourself knowing that it is fine to feel sexual about her, just don't drool or go straight for the Wanna F**k approach (although even that works about 10% of the time).
When we acted on our desires as AFCS, we got burned. So many of us became desireless (which is not bad for getting the attention of many pretty babes). But male lust turns women on. The problem is not the male lust, it is putting that male lust in ridiculous philosophies such as the 'Nice Guy' way and so on. Realize that there are no ilosophies with dealing with Nature and trust your gut more.
Be nice by all means, in fact I would advocate nothing but niceness, but you gotta combine it with strength and let your sexuality shine through. After all, the difference between you and the jerk is that you are nice, he is sexual, but who does she take home???
Second Male
This is regarding the Nice guy-Jerk controversy. Just want to confirm some of the claims with first-hand experience.
Listen to this one. He describes why even ugly guys get the beautiful babes.
I'm 22, an Aerospace Graduate student and considered myself in the past to be a nice guy, and still a nice guy. Recently, I'm working weekends as a bouncer. (I'm a fully qualified Ju-Jitsu 1st Dan Black Belt, but getting some free sex on the side is part of my agenda too). The truth is I can't keep the women off me. I don't know how many numbers I'm gathering, cause I cant keep track. Why not before when I was a nice-guy and concerned for my female friends?
My reasoning is that the theory of Male Dominance/Machoness or jerkiness is in effect. One girl even spelled it out for me the other night at this club I was working. Her words were something to the effect of: "90% of girls would go out with you because you're the bouncer, but you're also really good looking and sweet," or something like this.
It is STRENGTH women are attracted to. But where does this strength come from? Why do guys love crushing their bodies in the gym or in sports? It is the testosterone.
Well, now that I think about it, she's right. I see fat, ugly, bouncers who just got out of jail picking up girls all the time, whereas they wouldn't stand a chance if they weren't bouncers.... why? Because they're "tough-guys."
And as we see, this also explains why UGLY guys get the beautiful girls. It has nothing to do with confidence; it has everything to do with testosterone. Some guys can be very confidant with debates, with presentations, etc. But get them in front of a woman and they freeze. Whereas some guys cannot do all the former but know EXACTLY what to do when around women.
In my case, I am both very polite and considerate (towards women and men, except on a bad day, when I don't give a f**k).
Seeing this it seems to turn them on. It's the mixed signal theory where women see that you're a 'tough guy' and a 'nice guy' at the same time - the classic Humphrey Bogart thing.
SO the bottom line is: Be tough (or if you're not, look tough and act tough). This isn't to say become a bouncer, because it is not only dangerous and risky, but also very foolish, and not worth it, unless you have the skill. Even then. Personally, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so I don't mind.
Another tip - flaunt the things you're good at or like to do, or your accomplishments. But don't lie, so that upon confrontation, you're open-jawed. (i.e. I'm a pilot, and I mention this to chicks I date because I love flying and it's a part of me. It's my only hobby. And it's something not all do and so is an attention getter.)
Hope this helps. We all have a lot to learn so don't worry, you'll get there if you try. It's a matter of educating yourself about these things. I believe and I'm far from it, but the 'real Don Juans' (like the movies) have learned many hard lessons and have keenly observed others and the mistakes they make. It's like Aviation. You don't want to be in the NTSB accident report. You want to read it and learn from other's mistakes. Good luck !!
Third Male
Well here is my two cents worth and it's going to piss off most of the chicks and a lot of wimpy men.
Wimpy men! That perfectly describes this guys who are scared of their sexuality, of the effects their testosterone might have on them.
Girls do like jerks, especially the pretty girls (fair or not you fellows know the pretty ones are the ones we want).
PRECISELY!
And these girls can have anyone they want, so they deserve no sympathy when they get treated like dirt. Ladies, please spare me the fecal matter about how you don't know he is a jerk. Guys if you are a shoulder to cry on for these women you are a bunch of damn fools.
Yes!
What I really get tired of hearing is that when women get older they become more attracted to nice guys. This is true only if she has gained 100lbs,has finally divorced the jerk, and has a couple of his kids she needs some sucker to help support.
Exactly!
Even then she will secretly always want him back. It happens to me constantly, and these chicks can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.
It is not that Nice Guys finish last. It is that Nice Guys, when it comes to the woman's lust, do not win at all.
The best seducer I know personally is an alcoholic, ex-convict, pathological liar with a violent temper, who can't hold down a job.
And yet some of you guys are reading seduction material until your eyes hurt! As the scientist said above, high rates of testosterone are found in criminals, in gigantic liars, and such.
Hell, look at how popular Bill Clinton is with women voters. This is why I'm primarily interested in financial success.
To hell with these dumb chicks. Let them marry a turd and live in misery. I'm going to have a nice home, car, and retire comfortably.
Heh. At least he knows what he wants.
If you're nice, she thinks you are a puss, chump and not a real man. It's always been this way and always will be.
Actors, pro athletes, rock stars, and drug dealers are always awash with women, and these guys are known scum.
These guys are also the ones who are rated with the highest testosterone levels. This is the jerk's secret and he doesn't even realize it.
Fourth Male
This male we all know. His name is Jake Steed:
Here are some examples for you. I have a co-worker and friend who is one of the best natural seductionists I've ever met.
He has fvcked more women than any of the guys here could dream of. Yes, he parties, and yes he seduces.
Yes! We all have met them.
He just so happens to be the most brilliant, accomplished person of his position in the company. So how about your theory that seduction "swallows" you up? Don't be rediculous. LIFE is about balance.
And yes! Jake illustrates my point here. The answer is because he does not 'seduce'. He is natural man. Highly testosteronized males, especially if they can control it, rise far in the businessworld.
The difference between Apollonian and Dionysian at its ROOT LEVEL is that Apollonian CONTROLS Nature while Dionysian is CONTROLLED by it. Apollonian is not to cast Nature out to the netherworld or to be a killjoy.
I'll take my example a bit further. I actually showed him this website, and you know what he did? He laughed his ass off.
He couldn't understand how guys like the guys here could devote so much time and energy into discussing women. He doesn't even THINK about what he does. He just does.
THANK YOU JAKE! I have been saying this on and on and on. In the 'Kill the Desperation' thread, when asked about my 'philosophy', I said there was none and you guys got confused. Later, when I said to stop treating love and sexuality like an academic degree (studying books and websites on the subject), you guys got mad at me.
This isn't rocket science, it is women. And the answers are already embedded in your nature.
So where does that leave YOU? This guy is building an amazing career AND fvcking tons and tons of hot ass women--while you and I are here discussing the fvcking path of Apollo VS the path of Dionysis and some guy named Pook who has risen to godlike status on some little known message board. So just WHO's on the Apollo path here?
Don't confuse Apollonian with career success.
Later, RDToo adds:
The thing that is never addressed is the quality of women that you want to get with. I would bet that Ross Jefferies has never had a real quality woman. Women are not as dumb as alot of guys here seem to think, and they learn from experience as well as we do. I know a very quality woman who shoots down all seduction attempts. She says the thing that attracts her is the "quality of character" in a man. I do not think that learning SS is building that kind of characters.
THANK YOU RDTOO! Speed Seduction cannot build character because the focus is (let us say it together): ENTIRELY ON THE
WOMAN.
Gentlemen, when you want beautiful women you are in the big leagues. SS is more concerned with quantity than quality. This
was why I left it behind.
To INCREASE testosterone
No, do not run out and get shots. In our modern world cubicles and style, we are at desks and usually not in a state of action. But there are some easy ways to increase one's testosterone naturally and have the effects of:
-Greater Confidence
-Action
-Boldness
-Strength
No more analyzing
Turn OFF your computer and stop reading and rereading seduction knowledge. The only true benifet of the seduction material was not in the HOWs of getting seduction, it was opening your eyes of how Nature actually works. When I was a Nice Guy and read Tony's Get Laid Guy, it did a number on my head. It smashed all my nice guy 'philosophies'.
Build up the Body
Oddly, working out does seem to have more psychological effects then physical ones. Jerks always usally have nice bodies. Keep in the state of action.
Several of the guys in the 'health and fitness' forum we never hear from in the other forums. WHY? Because they know they don't need philosophies.
Listen to Anthony Ellis of the skinnyguy.net who says:
You have to have that drive and determination, and the change has to come from within. All the exterior things they don't mean much. You want to change the way you see life. You want to change your relationships. You want to make your workplace better. You want to be happier.
But Mr. Ellis, who went from scrawny guy to impressive muscle guy, I have noticed people who discovered that when they can change their bodies, they can change their whole lives. Did you notice that?
I'm definitely more confident. I believe in myself a lot more. I feel I can do other things I would never have thought to do before. I'm not afraid to be out at night, and that's a big deal for me. I enjoy the city so much more. I'm a part of it now.
And doing this is not brain surgery; I didn't save someone's life. But I improved my life, which is very difficult to do.
How many people are trying to lose fat? How many are trying to gain muscle? How many people are trying to get control of their lives? I have, and I feel empowered. I have no doubt any direction I choose to take my life will be successful.
You've kept this up for about a year now. You've got the solid muscle mass, a great physique, a great outlook, but what does long-term success mean to you? Is this going to be part of it?
This is definitely part of my life now. It's a permanent fixture. I may make slight adjustments, but once you go on this trip, there's no return ticket. You don't want to go back. It's like going to Hawaii. You don't want to come back because you have seen the other side. Once you get going, once you get the momentum going, once you start looking better, once you start feeling better, you don't want to stop. You want to keep exercising, to keep looking good and feeling good.
What do you tell people who don't believe this is possible?
When I meet people with that type of attitude people who say, "That's not possible" I tell them, "For you it's not possible because you don't believe it. If you don't believe you can do it, you can't."
I think they need to believe it before it will work for them. When they open their minds, things are going to start happening. Doors are going to start opening. They see the reality of the situation.
It's absolutely 100% necessary to believe you can do it. I mean really believe it deep down inside.
I've come to realize that most of what happens to you is a result of you. It all comes from inside. Everything you do, everything you are, how you handle everything that happens to you is your responsibility. So if you want to change, look inside. When you decide to change from the inside, the outside will fall into place.
For as you think, you shall become. This is why the focus must always remain ON YOU.
Some other things:
Joining a Sport
Every male needs good 'ol competition. Ever notice why the 'jocks' get the girls? Perhaps its because their testosterone levels shoot up or at least appear to?
Eating More
For skinny guys, this is a must. It strengthens the body.
Don't take yourself so seriously
This is for the shy and hesitant guys. You need to get over the fact that the world does not revolve around you. It never has and never will. No one will care if you hit on a chick. No one will care if you make a move on her. Do not rationalize away your desires.
Start doing some of the things the 'awful' jerks do.
Try getting on stage and being some rock star. Your testosterone levels will shoot up. Try acting. Since projection is all, your levels of testosterone will rise. Women will naturally sense it (and also because it will spring off other actions).
A New Start
Let us consider the Nice Guy vs. Jerk debate to be over. The Nice Guy is a male who is afraid or doesn't embrace his
testosterone. The Jerk should be seen as the Testosteronized Male.
What we understand, we have power to use. What we do not understand, it has power to use us.
For we possess the ability to restart our lives over again. Be not scared (by acting nice or relying on mental tricks) to do what your testosterone was put there to make you do.
Be natural = Be Man
------------------
POOK
------------------------
WildThang: Pook is talking crap.
Bashful: Don't listen to Pook!
blitzx: His popularity is his writing style. Pook doesn't post anything new.
cyclonus: Pook is a hypocrite. An illogical prophet...
CrazyRapala: That damn damn Pook!
Jake Steed: and some guy named Pook who has risen to godlike status...
---------------------------
QUOTE: Hlaing Thar Yar, Myanmar - Chicken-seller Thin Sandarin had always dreamt of being a man.
When she inexplicably grew a penis last month, the 21-year-old treated it as an awe-inspiring omen - as have the thousands of stunned villagers who have travelled to a pagoda to see him.
"On the morning of the full moon day of June 21, I noticed my thing (sex organ) was not the same as before," Thin Sandar, who now goes by the male name Than Sein, said on Wednesday.
"And my breasts disappeared," Than Sein added. "So I called out and showed it all to my mom and dad. It was very strange."
Experts have examined him, and he awaits test results from a women's hospital. - Sapa-AFP.
The 'Secret of the Jerk' post detailed this occuring in lab rats. There are legends and mythologies of this occuring throughout various cultures.
Though I am curious if the opposite is true. Can guys have their penis drop off and a vagina appear, with breasts appearing?
Apparently not. Testosterone stains. Once you've been immersed in testosterone (first in the womb, then in puberty) you cannot 'go back'. But that doesn't mean you can become very femine and weak. You'll still have balls, just not in the metaphorical sense.
Previous Pook Index Next
No, your eyes are not mistaken. The guy with the beautiful woman is a jerk and/or ugly guy! What is he doing with her? Can she not see? Has she not eyes?
Alas! The poor male looks around, knows not who to turn to, and eventually sums up that the universe is a cruel and mysterious personnage who deals out no answers, offers no solutions, and gives out no explanations especially for the enigma of all enigmas, the beautiful woman! Obviously, something is amiss. How do these ugly to average looking guys get such babes? How do these cruel, stupid, barbaric males get these feminine jewels? Are they following a special trick? Are they super 'confidant'? What is their secret? Or are they even aware of their secret?
But what if nothing is amiss? What if this is all correct to the will of Nature? Where leaves the Don Juan?
Oh, there she is! The beautiful woman! The ornament of the world! The dream in flesh! She stands aloof on the platform and says, "Gentlemen! How are you to win me?"
And around the platform, a thousand mouths cry:
"Confidence."
"Humor."
"Patterns."
"Kino."
"Chocolate."
"Poetry."
"By ignoring you."
"By totally focusing on you."
"Puffed muscles."
"Flowers."
"Spikey hair."
"Endless gifts."
"Mirroring."
"Leather jackets."
"Eliciting values."
"Sparkly clothes."
"Bouncy personality."
"Romance."
"Dinner. Lobster!"
"Compliments."
"Guitar songs."
And she laughs only to say, "These are very well and good, gentlemen. But are you not aware that imitation is suicide? You forget that confidence is experience, that puffed muscles are not to be a masculine dress, that any guy can buy me lobster, and that countless many can sing the guitar songs. Are you so unaware of what I need?"
But a lone voice speaks from the floor: "You, madam, are to win me! For I am the prize to be won!"
And with that, she giggles in glee. "For every one of you, there are a thousand guys willing to offer me the above. It is cute that you are different. But why am I with the ugly guy at the end? Why do I prefer the jerk?" And with this the lone voice had no answer.
Then comes the great exclamation: "Because he is a man!"
"Yes but no," she snobbily laughs.
"Because he is disrespectful."
"He is that but no."
"Because he is an animal."
"Not at all!"
"Because he has super ego!"
"True, but no."
"Because he wears his cap backwards!"
"Hah!"
"Because he is rough and mean."
"Nope!"
And then a golden arrow shaft of voice pierced the confusion, penetrated deep within the truth, spread those warm gooey moans of ecstasy throughout, and made her come with such surprising clarity that she screams in delight. For the voice said,
"Extreme masculinity!"
"Oh Pook!" she smiled in radiance. "How right you are!" And all the guys' mouths turn into a big O as the beautiful woman ran off the platform into the arms of Pook.
Having satisfied none of her demands, what she ends up with (the ugly/average guy) becomes seemingly contradictory. Extreme masculinity? What answer can that be?
Oh women! Can you give us no explanations other than the ones that send us off the cliff? Can you not explain yourselves to our perplexed male minds? Alas, it is like speaking to a block. She gives expressions but not answers. She gives demands but not secrets. How smart men may be until they enter a bar! How knowledgable they seem until they're before a woman!
The Mystery of Mysteries
There are three mysteries to the world: the rise and fall of civilizations, fruitcake, and why beautiful women go for jerks.
Leaving fruitcake and the rise and fall of civilizations for other posts, let us concern ourselves with why beautiful women go for jerks. WHAT IS NATURE'S SECRET?
And, likewise, a sea of mouths with authoritative tongues chant out the usual 'answers':
"Confidence"
"Dominance
"Unpredictability"
"Hard to get"
"Selfishness"
"Rudeness"
And so on. These 'experts' or 'wise sages' merely look at the jerk as a fixed element and classify personality traits or even physical traits. Fools adopt the personality/physical traits. But imitation is suicide.
Why go for the fool's gold when the real gold is in your grasp?
There are things so simple in Nature and life that we utterly confuse them and ourselves with our stupid philosophies (jerks don't need websites like these!). Sexuality is one of these. Our countless reading of seduction over the internet is full of months if not years. Where has this got you? Yes, you feel you are always right on the edge of THE SECRETS to end your heartaches and tensions but, at the end of the day, you are still in front of your computer.
Someone said to me, "What an odd definition of Man you gave, Pook! A guy not afraid of his testosterone? Surely it is more heroic."
But it is entirely about testosterone. Girls are attracted to GUYS, not wimps, not nice guys, not chumps, but GUYS. Rather then trying to build and discover some killer philosophy to ease your troubles, why not accept the structure Nature has already set up? The secret of the jerks is that it is so widespread, common, and plain that since it is all around us we can't even distinguish it.
Nature is process, always seeking and devouring. Nothing remains set; everything's in cycles. Rather than classifying the ACTIONS of the jerk and merely DUPLICATING them, let us adopt the SOURCE so the actions come natural and without thought or effort.
Pook stands on the fruitcake and calls the crowd around him.
Gentlemen! Do say: what type of woman will the Nicest Nice Guy attract?
"Sperm whales."
"Hags."
"B*tches."
"Uglo girls."
Indeed! What trait commonly unites all these girls that end up with the pathetic Nice Guy?
Silence.
Gentlemen! Your silence most offends me! Sure, these girls may be sweet. Sure, they may be smart. Sure, they may be many things. Yet, there is one thing that they aren't. They are not feminine. They are not girlish.
The men nod.
And, likewise, what are these Nice Guys, these blobs of appeasing rolls of gooish flesh? Are these the men of the world?
"NO!"
These boys are not exactly feminine, but they certainly aren't masculine. They are neither. They are the androgenous blob who, without a spine, is clay to fit to any woman's desires or whims. Nice guys love women as a drowner loves a life preserver. He clings on to her because he cannot swim the waters of Nature. Tossed and tossed he becomes through his love life.
The Masculine Male
Pook walks toward a bubbly Nice Guy with a needle of Man-ness.
"No! The prick will hurt me!"
Fine, die a painful long death of Regret, Loneliness, and Frustration. Any other takers?
Another Nice Guy volunteered.
See? This fella knows that a momentary pain is prefarable to consistant suffering.
Pook puts the shot into the Nice Guy and injects him with testosterone.
Now, gentlemen, watch the effects.
The Nice Guy no longer fears what he desires. He sees the woman he wants. He approaches her.
Why do jerks approach women? To marry them? No! The jerk is operating not out of control with 'that head down there' but rather being influenced properly by his testosterone. He sees what he wants and goes and gets it. He does not apologize for it. He does not try to rationalize it. He does not analyze it. There are no stupid philosophies running around in the jerk's head.
The Nice Guy gets rejected by the woman!
Oh oh! Poor Nice Guy! But look, something is changing. Look at the anger building up in him. Something is being charged within him. It is frustration. It is anger. The worst thing for him to do would be to cry and duck his head in the sand. Constant rejection requires one of two solutions: either lower your standards or increase your standards in yourself.
But it is true that standards do not enter the jerk's mind. He gets frustrated and angry. He tries again with MUCH LESS awkardness. Nature's system is at work here, chiseling his social exterior. He gets the dates.
The Nice Guy gets dumped after a few dates.
Oh dear! What happened!? Why, perhaps the Nice Guy was trying to mock earlier jerk behavior and remetamorphed into an AFC eventually before his chick! Imitation IS suicide. No wonder chicks are so hard for honesty!
Do jerks really care on pleasing the women in the spirit of altruism and glorious relationship?
"Yes."
Hush you! The jerks obviously DO NOT care about the women in such a manner. Their testosterone says, "I have needs that need to be fulfilled. Entertain me." And so the jerks come off self-centered not because they ARE self-centered, but because they are closer to their own male nature and seek to satisfy their thirst.
The nice guy sees that fun is merely being around a beautiful woman. The jerk is a bit more... active. He wants to have fun his way. She is along for the ride.
It has been well known that action dates (ex: dancing, bowling, rock climbing, etc.) work MUCH BETTER than regular dates (coffee, dinner, movie, etc). Rather than merely matching the effect (the action date), let us focus on the cause.
The jerk would obviously skateboard and play basketball than to sit at dinner and watch the girl flap her gums. Testosterone has been shown to create more ACTION in the individual. Jerks (i.e. testosteronized males) do the action NATURALLY. Rather than worrying about making yourself do action dates, get yourself in that natureset and action dates will become the only comfortable choice you could make.
The Nice Guy gets dumped because he hardly made any moves.
Oh no! We know how the girl gets mistreated and will talk to her girly friend (the nice guy) about it. We see the abuse and we think, "Oh heavens! Am I to be abusive to get the girl?" What is this abuse? Is she really hurt? Or is she merely mad that she has failed in her mission: to sterilize and link to the masculinized dude?
"But the guy stands her up all the time, etc. etc."
It is not because he stands her up. It is because she knows she is not loved by him. Her feminine powers are not ensnaring him. It is a feminine failure.
The girl sleeps with the jerk and he leaves her. We, as guys, think the abuse is the jerk sleeping with the girl merely to 'use' her (and motherly harpies try to feminize us into not doing 'this'). Rather, the 'abuse' is that the girl realizes she could not keep the guy. She 'was not woman enough'.
Nature's Path Leads to Women
As men, we are governed by two masters: Mind and Nature. (NOT mind and body. Nature refers to the processes and cycles that our bodies are only but a part.)
Both fight one another.
Mind: "The finest philosophies will get us the women."
Nature: "You bore me. Unleash me."
But what will get the women?
Mind: "Calculation. Seduction."
Nature: "Instinct. Masculinity."
And why should you get any women?
Mind: "Because everyone else is, and I am not."
Nature: "Because I am MALE and she is FEMALE."
Now let us throw some obstacles at the two. Let us say they are unceasingly unsuccessful in obtaining the beautiful women.
What are your reactions?
Mind: "This is obviously a failure within my calculation, my framing of the events. I will solve this with more seduction
research, essay writing on message boards, for I treat sexual dynamics like an academic degree."
Nature: "The failure is in not being male enough. Increased masculinity is the solution."
But you who enraged the poets and tortured the philosophers, please please elaborate.
Nature: When the embryo is at three months, it is unisex. It is both sexes at once. Alas, from then it divides into a gender (of which we cannot choose, of which enforces a code of conduct and duties of behavior we cannot control or understand. And we call ourselves free...)
Mind: Yes, yes. One half turns male, the other female. It is in my books.
Nature: Then I shall burn your library. For Nature always has more secrets then you can decipher. Gender is not all or none.
There is a MIX.
Mind: But this is in my books. In Sex and Character, Weineger says that from birth, males and females are divided. Some males are 70% male, 30% female. Others are 80% male, 20% female. It is vice versa for women. We know of effininate men. We know of tom boys. Attraction is not a choice. A male that is 60% male and 40% female will attract a female that is 60% female and 40% male. A female that is 90% female and 10% male will attract a male that is 90% male and 10% female. It is a fact that some men are more feminine than others. This attraction scale is destiny: we mate with what fills the void the best. This is the mix that Weineger speaks of, is marked in the very first chapter of his book and made everything else possible.
Nature: I wonder if you would talk then till doomsday? Your followers, your philosophers, lawyers, academics, prattle and rattle on just like you! You are completely unaware of the seasons of life that color and sparkle the world. But I hesitate!
Mind: Like the flow and ebb of the moon.
Nature: Quiet you! Weineger and others of his ilk made good attempts at trying to discover my secrets. They tried to 'pop' themselves out of my earthly cycle and peer upon my work with the eyes of a god. Melancholy is my vengeance. Nieztche and Keirkegard, I drove those two mad. For Weineger I made his life so unpleasant that he had to shoot himself.
Mind: Is this your only vengeance?
Nature: No. It is reserved for anyone who frustrates my cycle. A man who persistantly stays single becomes a public temptation. I chisel away at him to make him more appropriate and correct the purpose of getting the women and carrying on my work.
Mind: But he will not do this. And your melancholy will not work due to the female attention he recieves.
Nature: I make and unmake the Adonis. The beautiful boy, refusing to use my gift for my purpose, enjoys being slaughtered by the elephant's tusk, the early untimely death. I will not be defied.
Mind: Yet, Weineger explained you.
Nature: Fool! Your 'mix' is all wrong. It is true that it is not simply 'male' and 'female'. But there is androgenous, where the male levels are so low in the male that he is barely a male. Or that the female levels are so low in the female that she is barely a female.
Mind: You divided us before birth.
Nature: And I inject you again with my touch at puberty. The boy must become a man and the girl a woman. But, alas, many attempt to buck my ways to follow YOU. Nerds, geeks, we know the labels. The longer a man tries to ignore the fact of my mission and cycle, the more pain and loneliness I will add into him until he has no choice to act.
Mind: You are vicious.
Nature: It gets the job done. But Weineger is wrong. We are not born onto a spectrum. Rather, we can add to it or decrease it. The element of attraction is destruction.
Mind: Destruction?
Nature: If a woman is amazingly female, what is the result?
Mind: Hordes of men hunt after her.
Nature: Yes. Extremeness of spectrum is an anomaly that must be seeked out and destroyed. The female is feminine with matter. Girls at an early age are aware the effects their bodies have on young men. They know they are like a magnet. But who do they go for? The beautiful woman is the extreme female? Why, she is seeking the extreme male. By the actions of the jerk, who can say that he is not looking for destruction? He finds it in her and she finds it in him. I demand sterilization of the two. The more successes they have, the more and more it is drained from them. Eventually, they settle for one mate and begin the march toward the androgenous.
Mind: So the beautiful woman is attracted to the jerk because...
Nature: It is better to say that the extreme female woman is attracted to the extreme male man.
And this is the utterly simple secret. Jerks are not super confidant, not superior in all seduction knowledge. Jerks are testosteronized males. This seperates them from the Nice Guys who still defy the flooding of testosterone Nature inflicts on them.
Science of Testosterone
Be a Man!: "A Man is one who is not afraid of his testosterone."
This will seem incredibly basic. But to illustrate the effects, look at the effects of men who must be injected with artificial testosterone because (for whatever reason) their body isn't making enough (usually due to having HIV).
One HIV positive guy shares his differences with the before and after shots:
His weight increases from 165 pounds to 185 pounds. The collar size goes from 15 to 17 1/2, the chest from 40 to 44. His appetite expands beyond measure. Before he was constantly napping. Now he has enough energy for daily workouts and strict work schedules. Before, depression was a regular feature. Now, it is a 'distant memory'. With the testosterone shots, he feels better to recover from life's curveballs, more persistant, more alive.
There are more effects. With the testosterone, he feels more energy. The attention span shortens. He finds it harder to concentrate on writing and feels he must exercise. The wit becomes quicker, the mind faster, and the judgement more impulsive. It is literally a 'rush'.
Without the testosterone, he finds himself more reserved. The energy still is there but is geared towards interaction rather than action, toward pride rather than lust. He rarely looks for dates or thinks of approaching women without it. But with it, he is constantly scanning the women for potential dates and socializing.
With testosterone comes increased debating type attitudes, and increased anger. Driving makes him scream at the other cars and 'stupid drivers'. (This is oddly reminiscent of Thomas Jefferson's personality when he was always said to be 'unemotional' except when riding a horse and became 'overly' emotional.) With testosterone comes increased impatience, increased edginess, but increased self-confidence.
Now do these traits of the under-testosteronized male and over-testosteronized male match the Nice Guy and Jerk? They do most accurately.
For the rest, we require a scientist.
A scientist appears.
There you are! Oh, Mr. Scientist, do tell us more about Testosterone.
"I'd love to, Pook.
"Testosterone, oddly enough, is a chemical closely related to cholesterol. It was first isolated by a Dutch scientist in 1935 from mice testicles and successfully synthesized by the German biologist Adolf Butenandt. Although testosterone is often thought of as the definition of maleness, both men and women produce it. Men produce it in their testicles; women produce it in their ovaries and adrenal glands. The male body converts some testosterone to estradiol, a female hormone, and the female body has receptors for testosterone, just as the male body does. That's why women who want to change their sex are injected with testosterone and develop male characteristics, like deeper voices, facial hair and even baldness. The central biological difference between adult men and women, then, is not that men have testosterone and women don't. It's that men produce much, much more of it than women do. An average woman has 40 to 60 nanograms of testosterone in a deciliter of blood plasma. An average man has 300 to 1,000 nanograms per deciliter."
Ok, ok, Mr. Scientist. You are putting this Pook to sleep. The EFFECTS of testosterone. Focus on the EFFECTS.
"Certainly, Pook.
"Testosterone's effects start early -- really early. At conception, every embryo is female and unless hormonally altered will remain so. You need testosterone to turn a fetus with a Y chromosome into a real boy, to masculinize his brain and body. Men experience a flood of testosterone twice in their lives: in the womb about six weeks after conception and at puberty. The first fetal burst primes the brain and the body, endowing male fetuses with the instinctual knowledge of how to respond to later testosterone surges. The second, more familiar adolescent rush -- squeaky voices, facial hair and all -- completes the process."
Go on.
"The effect of testosterone is systemic. It engenders both the brain and the body. Apart from the obvious genital distinction, other differences between men's and women's bodies reflect this: body hair, the ratio of muscle to fat, upper-body strength and so on. But testosterone leads to behavioral differences as well. Since it is unethical to experiment with human embryos by altering hormonal balances, much of the evidence for this idea is based on research conducted on animals. A Stanford research group, for example, as reported in Deborah Blum's book "Sex on the Brain," injected newborn female rats with testosterone. Not only did the female rats develop penises from their clitorises, but they also appeared fully aware of how to use them."
What!
"Indeed. But let me continue."
Yes, I am sorry.
"And these female rats were trying to have sex with other females with merry abandon. Male rats who had their testosterone locked after birth, on the other hand, saw their penises wither or disappear entirely and presented themselves to the female rats in a passive, receptive way. Other scientists, theorizing that it was testosterone that enabled male zebra finches to sing, injected mute female finches with testosterone. Sure enough, the females sang. Species in which the female is typically more aggressive, like hyenas in female-run clans, show higher levels of testosterone among the females than among the males. Female sea snipes, which impregnate the males, and leave them to stay home and rear the young, have higher testosterone levels than their mates. Typical "male" behavior, in other words, corresponds to testosterone levels, whether exhibited by chromosomal males or females."
But does this apply to Humans?
"The evidence certainly suggests that it does, though much of the "proof" is inferred from accidents. Pregnant women who were injected with progesterone (chemically similar to testosterone) in the 1950's to avoid miscarriage had daughters who later reported markedly tomboyish childhoods."
Incredible!
"Ditto girls born with a disorder that causes their adrenal glands to produce a hormone like testosterone rather than the more common cortisol. The moving story, chronicled in John Colapinto's book "As Nature Made Him," of David Reimer, who as an infant was surgically altered after a botched circumcision to become a girl, suggests how long-lasting the effect of fetal testosterone can be. Despite a ruthless attempt to socialize David as a girl, and to give him the correct hormonal treatment to develop as one, his behavioral and psychological makeup was still ineradicably male. Eventually, with the help of more testosterone, he became a full man again. Female-to-male transsexuals report a similar transformation when injected with testosterone. One, Susan/Drew Seidman, described her experience in The Village Voice last November. 'My sex-drive went through the roof,' Seidman recalled. 'I felt like I had to have sex once a day or I would die. . . . I was into porn as a girl, but now I'm really into porn.' For Seidman, becoming a man was not merely physical. Thanks to testosterone, it was also psychological."
So what makes a Man?
"I don't know what exactly makes a man. But one thing I can tell you for sure: it is not his penis."
Oh wise sage! Wonderful scientist!
But do not confuse testosterone with Popeye's spinach. Nature says, "Testosterone levels will rise when the situation warrants it. Survival is the priority." So in cases of danger, of war, the testosterone levels increase. When in a strip club or viewing a porno website, testosterone levels also rise. Men with higher testosterone achieve psychological dominance, have high self esteem, and move through the world with natural confidence.
"But Pook. I have more to add."
Tarry! Then I will step aside and let you speak.
"Testosterone is clearly correlated in both men and women with psychological dominance, confident physicality and high self-esteem. In most combative, competitive environments, especially physical ones, the person with the most testosterone wins. Put any two men in a room together and the one with more testosterone will tend to dominate the interaction."
Gentlemen, this is your secret 'ingredient' to that 'alpha-maleness' you keep longing for.
"Working women have higher levels of testosterone than women who stay at home, and the daughters of working women have higher levels of testosterone than the daughters of housewives. A 1996 study found that in lesbian couples in which one partner assumes the male, or "butch," role and another assumes the female, or "femme," role, the "butch" woman has higher levels of testosterone than the "femme" woman."
Ahh! So in lesbian couples, one acts male and the other acts female.
"In naval medical tests, midshipmen have been shown to have higher average levels of testosterone than plebes. Actors tend to have more testosterone than ministers, according to a 1990 study. Among 700 male prison inmates in a 1995 study, those with the highest testosterone levels tended to be those most likely to be in trouble with the prison authorities and to engage in unprovoked violence. This is true among women as well as among men, according to a 1997 study of 87 female inmates in a maximum security prison."
Whohoo! The key to dominance!
"Careful Pook.
"Although high testosterone levels often correlate with dominance in interpersonal relationships, it does not guarantee more social power. Testosterone levels are higher among blue-collar workers, for example, than among white-collar workers, according to a study of more than 4,000 former military personnel conducted in 1992."
But is testosterone like adrenaline? Or does it respond to long-term surrounding environment stimuli?
"Well Pook, studies have shown that inner-city youths, often exposed to danger in high-crime neighborhoods, may generate higher testosterone levels than unthreatened, secluded suburbanites. And so high testosterone levels may not merely be responses to a violent environment; they may subsequently add to it in what becomes an increasingly violent, sexualized cycle."
Increase in violence AND sexuality? Then it's no accident that testosterone-soaked ghettos foster both high levels of crime and high levels of illegitimacy!
"Indeed, Pook. In the same way, declines in violence and crime may allow testosterone levels to drop among young inner-city males, generating a virtuous trend of further reductions in crime and birth rates. This may help to explain why crime can decline precipitously, rather than drift down slowly, over time."
But what for the men who enter that dungeon, I mean marriage?
"Studies have also shown that men in long-term marriages see their testosterone levels progressively fall and their sex drives subsequently decline. It is as if their wives successfully tame them, reducing their sexual energy to a level where it is more unlikely to seek extramarital outlets. A 1993 study showed that single men tended to have higher levels of testosterone than married men and that men with high levels of testosterone turned out to be more likely to have had a failed marriage. Of course, if you start out with higher testosterone levels, you may be more likely to fail at marriage, stay in the sexual marketplace, see your testosterone increase in response to this and so on."
So what is the entire point, Mr. Brainy Guy?
"This, then, is what it comes down to: testosterone is a facilitator of risk -- physical, criminal, personal. Without the
influence of testosterone, the cost of these risks might seem to far outweigh the benefits. But with testosterone charging through the brain, caution is thrown to the wind. The influence of testosterone may not always lead to raw physical confrontation. In men with many options it may influence the decision to invest money in a dubious enterprise, jump into an ill-advised sexual affair or tell an egregiously big whopper. At the time, all these decisions may make some sort of testosteroned sense."
It sounds like you are describing a US politician.
"Hush Pook."
Oh, I'm sorry. Continue.
"The effects of testosterone are not secret; neither is the fact that men have far more if it than women. But why? As we have seen, testosterone is not synonymous with gender; in some species, it is the female who has most of it. The relatively new science of evolutionary psychology offers perhaps the best explanation for why that's not the case in humans. For neo-Darwinians, the aggressive and sexual aspects of testosterone are related to the division of labor among hunter-gatherers in our ancient but formative evolutionary past. This division -- men in general hunted, women in general gathered -- favored differing levels of testosterone. Women need some testosterone -- for self-defense, occasional risk-taking, strength -- but not as much as men. Men use it to increase their potential to defeat rivals, respond to physical threats in strange environments, maximize their physical attractiveness, prompt them to spread their genes as widely as possible and defend their home if necessary."
But women are attracted, in the physical imagery sense, to the feminine looking guys. How can testosterone increase physical attractiveness? I do not understand.
"But the picture, as most good evolutionary psychologists point out, is more complex than this. Men who are excessively testosteroned are not that attractive to most women. Although they have the genes that turn women on -- strong jaws and pronounced cheekbones, for example, are correlated with high testosterone -- they can also be precisely the unstable, highly sexed creatures that childbearing, stability-seeking women want to avoid. There are two ways, evolutionary psychologists hazard, that women have successfully squared this particular circle. One is to marry the sweet class nerd and have an affair with the college quarterback: that way you get the good genes, the good sex and the stable home."
This has always been the problem. Nice Guy or Jerk?
"There is a third path."
A third way? And what is it?
"The third way is to find a man with variable testosterone levels, who can be both stable and nurturing when you want him to be and yet become a muscle-bound, bristly gladiator when the need arises. This is sadly more easily said than done."
Ahh! The secret is to CONTROL the sexuality or else it will control you! The jerk is entirely controlled by it. The Nice Guy recoils from the abuses he sees in the jerk and becomes merely static on the woman's radar.
To be a jerk in control of his sexuality is to cease being 'jerk-like'. For Nature has set up this game of life we all play.
Learn the system and work within it.
No Nice Guy in Animal World
Now we require a farmer.
A farmer appears.
What are the effects of testosterone on animals?
The farmer looks at Pook as if he was crazy.
Yes, the effects.
"Well, one thing with animals is that the female is usually the one more in heat, always searching for sex, than the male. Take female pigs. They go completely beserk."
Go on.
"But it is exactly what that scientist said. Nature dashes some tesosterone to create the male at first. Then, at puberty, Nature floods the male with testosterone. If you neuter the animal before this flood, you will have a great pet."
And if you don't?
"Well, you end up with an unhappy beast. Male pigs must be neutered or the testosterone will flood the body, making its meat worthless. This is why we don't eat bull."
So our animal friends, when testostoronized, are merely to mate? There is no other strength in it?
"That isn't true. If you neuter the dog before he gets testosteronized, he makes a great pet. But he will not make a good sheepdog. It's almost like his will of action gets taken out."
And so is the same with Humans! What do Nice Guys become but human pets for the female? And just as animals use their sexuality for action, for a higher purpose, so do Humans.
The Women Agree
Even on this site's discussion of 'Nice Guys versus Jerks', read what some of what the women had to say.
Italics will be the woman. Regular text will be da Pook Man.
First Lady
Alright, I read some of your responses from women and noticed that most of them seemed older.
And probably uglier! It is the pretty chicks we want. Too bad pictures weren't included with their words!
And since a lot of guys who go here seem to be around my age (17), I figured I would put my 2 cents in.
Here it comes...
I don't like the nice guy. To me he's a definite turn off. He seems too timid to pursue intimacy, and personally I love it when a guy is real horny (as long as he's attractive and knows when to stop). It makes me feel a lot more comfortable.
Too timid to pursue intimacy! Perhaps he needs a shot of testosterone? Notice how she loves a guy being horny (just not a
stupid type of horny). She feels COMFROTABLE when the guy is following his nature rather than acting out stupid philosophies.
I'm not saying I like jerks, I like the funny guy who always has something interesting or colorful to say. Normally girls look for someone of their 'niceness quotient' or lower. Feeling like the jerk in the relationship is no fun. Of course, neither is being the '*****' so it's totally up to the chick. Maybe u nice guys should get a bit more bold, not necessarily
'jerk-ish'
Fortune favors the bold.
Second Lady
Women start to see the light in their late twenties. Some men never do.
As women get older, they become less feminine in that they are rapidly aging. Yes, Nice Guys can get girls. All the girls we DON'T want.
My advice to the nice guys whose decency might be hampering their dating success is to widen the pool of women they consider.
Translated: go for uglier/older girls.
A current philosophy among some (male) dating gurus is to never date a woman over 30, as they are too set in their ways, hate men, and are starting to lose their looks anyway. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Older women have developed depth of character, have learned that "nice guys" are the way to go, and are in their sexual prime. In addition, they know who they are sexually, and are unashamed and unafraid to experiment and to take and give pleasure. Sex with a woman over 35 might be some of the best sex a man will ever have.
Over 35! She can't have many children by then! At that age she is losing her purpose of sexuality.
The problem with dating women under 25, which seems to be the goal for many men of all age groups, is that one will have to contend with the image-seeking behavior of youth. Unless a man is equally shallow and image-driven---and most men over 30 are not---women in their 30s, 40s, and up can be a goldmine of interesting and wonderful experiences.
We know that the young women go for the jerks. But notice how the desexualized male (i.e. Nice Guy) wins with the desexualized female (i.e. women in their 30s and 40s)?
Third Woman
I date only nice guys. Most women want to date a nice guy. But men are being classified into two groups, nice or jerks.
That doesn't cover the subject. People are more complex than that. Neither sex can be grouped into just two groups.
Of course.
The "NICE GUY" is often a man who doesn't have a life. And neither sex is attracted to this type of person. A truly nice guy is hard to find. A true jerk most women don't want. I think we try to make people fit into a category instead of getting to know them. You can't always know what a woman wants based on another woman's choices.
Why not? Women seem to follow the same pattern of going for the jerk.
It is true that the Nice Guy has no life. It is because he lacks the ACTION that the jerk has.
I love a nice guy. To me nothing is sexier than a guy who has the guts to say he really likes me on a first date. And yes I do continue dating him! I must clear one last thing up "Nice guys do FINISH last" and I find that to be very sexy! He is the one I'll see again.
This woman must be fat or old or something.
Fourth Girl
Sorry, but its no more true that women prefer jerks than it is true that men prefer *****es.
The thing is, the nice guys who are with a woman are not out there complaining that women don't like nice guys. The nice guys who are not with a woman will express their loneliness, in a nice way, from time to time. The jerks who are not with a woman never complain about it. They lie and say they do have a woman, or many women, or they don't want a woman. Nice guys don't lie like that.
The jerk is a challenge. The nice guy wants to go on Oprah's show.
The truth is that nice guys are alone from time to time. The truth is that there are plenty of people out there looking for the right one. Keep looking, you will find her.
It is interesting that women are all united in the belief that there is 'one for everyone'. It's as if they are well aware of Nature's invisible hand demanding union.
PS. You are a guy, right, so looks are very important to you? Lets say you think you could not be with less than an "8".
I know huge compromise is not possible, but just try to accept a "7" or a "6" perhaps. Women get a lot better looking TO YOU after you know and love them. Give it a try. If I had a brother and he was a nice guy, the above advice is what I would have given him.
Notice how many of these women are missing the point here. The point is to get the BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. Some of these girl's solutions is to not go for the beautiful ones!
But all the attributes of the jerk they love (the action, the horniness, the unpredictability, the exciting life) are all effects of a testosteronized male.
Fifth Girl
I don't think that women are attracted to jerks, but they are attracted to men that illuminate power. Those type of men(powerful, strong and masculine) are sometimes jerks, which accounts for the confusion.
Finally! A woman links the jerk to masculinity. But it is the effects of testosterone she sees.
The nice guy sometimes is not strong or powerful and that's what turns women off. So in essence, it's not the fact that they are nice, it's that they may be lacking other attractive qualities that out weigh the niceness.
Which the Nice Guys do NOT have or are afraid of (and sterilize themselves with 'nice' philosophies).
Ultimately, I love nice guys that illuminate strength and masculinity. There is no better combination.
It becomes quite simple:
NICE GUY: Male who is scared of his testosterone and seeks to sterilize himself with his niceness.
JERK: A male who merely acts male. He is controlled by his testosterone. This is why he gets into trouble.
GREAT GUY: A guy who can CONTROL his sexuality and acts male WITHOUT getting into trouble.
Sixth Girl
I got the e-mail about the nice guys vs. jerks. I'm totally for nice guys in a relationship, but when it comes to lusting or dreaming about a guy, it's usually the jerks, b/c most jerks have the nice bodies and have that something that's sexy about them.
Can you not see the pattern emerging? Are we not seeing the Jerk and Nice Guy for what they truly are?
Seventh Girl
I recognized some time ago exactly what I was doing... I was looking for a specific "character," for lack of a better
word. It's epitomized by Judd Nelson in "The Breakfast Club," or by Elvis Presley in "King Creole" for your readers who aren't up on the 80's John Hughes phenomenon. Essentially, they're "bad boys with heart." I've dated guys who are nice - JUST nice, and I get bored after about three dates. "Bad boys" are much more interesting, of course, although it's not a wish of women that these guys are REALLY bad. Misunderstood would be a better word.
Check out the local oldies station for "Leader of the Pack" and you'll get the idea. A guy who's a troublemaker enough to be dangerous and daring and fun and keep life interesting, but who is a real sweetheart underneath. Hell, even when I was in 8th grade, I was much more infatuated with Jason Bateman's character on Silver Spoons (the best friend/next door neighbor who was always causing trouble to get attention from parents he thought didn't care) than Ricky Schroeder's... Ricky was so sweet he was saccharine.
The problem that I've run into, as I'm sure many women have, is that most of these "bad boys" don't seem to have the good hearts we seek. What you see is what you get.
This is because they are CONTROLLED by it. The only way to get both, and be the desire of every woman, is to understand it and CONTROL it.
By the time you realize it, you may have been dating this jerk for a while. When you ditch him, it's "on with the search." For the same damned thing. This is where guys will get the idea that jerks get all the women. They see us in the process of the search. What they need to understand is that we're not looking for some nasty idiot; behind it all is the wish to find that guy who can be trouble to everyone else but nice to us. Just like Judd.
Eighth Girl
Nice guys vs. jerks isn't the real issue here, it is all about confidence. The major difference between nice guys and jerks is this: if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the perfect "nice" thing that he will totally flub it. The "nice" one ends up stumbling away from the object of his desires with his tail caught between his legs ... for those who don't already realize, this is NOT the impression you want to make!
A jerk, on the other hand, appears to have been blessed with ability to approach anyone and say just what's on his mind completely disregarding any of the repercussions. He just does it. I have no clue how he does it. But DAMN, the man who has the confidence to accomplish that has caught my eye for the night whether he wants it or not!
What does this say? She is saying: "Stop trying to say the perfect thing!" This was why I left 'Seduction' behind and gone the Natural route. It is more fun, less headaches, and gets better effects.
Ninth Girl
Don't think women don't like nice guys. There is an initial appeal to a jerk, but it doesn't last long. As long as you don't act desperate and have a little something going for you, believe me, a nice guy CAN finish first - and with the girl of his dreams.
Translated: Treat yourself as the PRIZE to be won.
This does solve a lot of errors but it is not enough. Mastering the secret of the jerk optimizes your sexual appeal.
Tenth Girl
This is from the book (which I am sure many of you have read) called The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Ms. Rand's Objectivism was always a bit thorny going down philosophically. (And I know how women are the sexual ones which is strange with the person of Ms. Rand. Yet, Ms. Rand's 'noble hero' is entirely in the sexual realm. Her heroes are her ideal men.)
Objectivism is, in Ms. Rand's words, a 'noble' vision of Man which characters like John Galt as symbols. But Objectivism is more of a style of masculinity than it is a philosophy. Her heroes usually blast philosophical 'niceness' away.
In The Fountainhead, the hero (Roark) is not attractive and said to be even ugly. His rival, (Keating), is the pretty boy. But notice the effect that Roark has on Dominque, the extroadinarily beautiful woman. At the quarry, he does not seduce her. He literally rapes her (as virgin girls are often said to express as fantasy).
At a later party, the people notice Dominque (usually surrounded by desperate guys) show signs of attraction.
"And, my dear," asked Kiki Holcombe, "what did you think of that new one, you know, I saw you talking to him, that Howard Roark?"
"I think," said Dominique firmly, "that he is the most revolting person I've ever met."
"Oh, now, really?"
"Do you care for that sort of unbridled arrogance? I don't know what one could say for him, unless it's that he's terribly
good-looking, if that matters."
"Good-looking!? Are you being funny, Dominique?"
The beautiful woman is attracted to this ugly guy. But why?
"Why, my dear," said kiki, "he's not good-looking at all, but extremely masculine."
Extreme masculinity. This is what the beautiful woman wants.
Now for the males:
First Male
One thing to add on the nice guys V jerks thing: jerks win because in their selfish insensitivity they never hide their raw sexuality. Nice guys in their sensitivity hide their sexuality because they think it will oppress women.
This guy is on the right track.
Women are powerfully attracted to guys who are open with their sexuality, thus the jerks win.
EXACTLY!
Now it is important to realize that being open with your sexuality is not about being a macho wanker, but simply about not denying that you wanna have sex with her. She knows it anyway, and if you don't let the world know it, you're headed right for the friendship zone, which is great if you wanna chat all night only to see her waltz out the door and straight into bed with some ******* who just walked in, but useless if you wanna be the one helping her mess up her sheets.
SO TRUE!
To be open with your sexuality all you gotta do is be yourself knowing that it is fine to feel sexual about her, just don't drool or go straight for the Wanna F**k approach (although even that works about 10% of the time).
When we acted on our desires as AFCS, we got burned. So many of us became desireless (which is not bad for getting the attention of many pretty babes). But male lust turns women on. The problem is not the male lust, it is putting that male lust in ridiculous philosophies such as the 'Nice Guy' way and so on. Realize that there are no ilosophies with dealing with Nature and trust your gut more.
Be nice by all means, in fact I would advocate nothing but niceness, but you gotta combine it with strength and let your sexuality shine through. After all, the difference between you and the jerk is that you are nice, he is sexual, but who does she take home???
Second Male
This is regarding the Nice guy-Jerk controversy. Just want to confirm some of the claims with first-hand experience.
Listen to this one. He describes why even ugly guys get the beautiful babes.
I'm 22, an Aerospace Graduate student and considered myself in the past to be a nice guy, and still a nice guy. Recently, I'm working weekends as a bouncer. (I'm a fully qualified Ju-Jitsu 1st Dan Black Belt, but getting some free sex on the side is part of my agenda too). The truth is I can't keep the women off me. I don't know how many numbers I'm gathering, cause I cant keep track. Why not before when I was a nice-guy and concerned for my female friends?
My reasoning is that the theory of Male Dominance/Machoness or jerkiness is in effect. One girl even spelled it out for me the other night at this club I was working. Her words were something to the effect of: "90% of girls would go out with you because you're the bouncer, but you're also really good looking and sweet," or something like this.
It is STRENGTH women are attracted to. But where does this strength come from? Why do guys love crushing their bodies in the gym or in sports? It is the testosterone.
Well, now that I think about it, she's right. I see fat, ugly, bouncers who just got out of jail picking up girls all the time, whereas they wouldn't stand a chance if they weren't bouncers.... why? Because they're "tough-guys."
And as we see, this also explains why UGLY guys get the beautiful girls. It has nothing to do with confidence; it has everything to do with testosterone. Some guys can be very confidant with debates, with presentations, etc. But get them in front of a woman and they freeze. Whereas some guys cannot do all the former but know EXACTLY what to do when around women.
In my case, I am both very polite and considerate (towards women and men, except on a bad day, when I don't give a f**k).
Seeing this it seems to turn them on. It's the mixed signal theory where women see that you're a 'tough guy' and a 'nice guy' at the same time - the classic Humphrey Bogart thing.
SO the bottom line is: Be tough (or if you're not, look tough and act tough). This isn't to say become a bouncer, because it is not only dangerous and risky, but also very foolish, and not worth it, unless you have the skill. Even then. Personally, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so I don't mind.
Another tip - flaunt the things you're good at or like to do, or your accomplishments. But don't lie, so that upon confrontation, you're open-jawed. (i.e. I'm a pilot, and I mention this to chicks I date because I love flying and it's a part of me. It's my only hobby. And it's something not all do and so is an attention getter.)
Hope this helps. We all have a lot to learn so don't worry, you'll get there if you try. It's a matter of educating yourself about these things. I believe and I'm far from it, but the 'real Don Juans' (like the movies) have learned many hard lessons and have keenly observed others and the mistakes they make. It's like Aviation. You don't want to be in the NTSB accident report. You want to read it and learn from other's mistakes. Good luck !!
Third Male
Well here is my two cents worth and it's going to piss off most of the chicks and a lot of wimpy men.
Wimpy men! That perfectly describes this guys who are scared of their sexuality, of the effects their testosterone might have on them.
Girls do like jerks, especially the pretty girls (fair or not you fellows know the pretty ones are the ones we want).
PRECISELY!
And these girls can have anyone they want, so they deserve no sympathy when they get treated like dirt. Ladies, please spare me the fecal matter about how you don't know he is a jerk. Guys if you are a shoulder to cry on for these women you are a bunch of damn fools.
Yes!
What I really get tired of hearing is that when women get older they become more attracted to nice guys. This is true only if she has gained 100lbs,has finally divorced the jerk, and has a couple of his kids she needs some sucker to help support.
Exactly!
Even then she will secretly always want him back. It happens to me constantly, and these chicks can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.
It is not that Nice Guys finish last. It is that Nice Guys, when it comes to the woman's lust, do not win at all.
The best seducer I know personally is an alcoholic, ex-convict, pathological liar with a violent temper, who can't hold down a job.
And yet some of you guys are reading seduction material until your eyes hurt! As the scientist said above, high rates of testosterone are found in criminals, in gigantic liars, and such.
Hell, look at how popular Bill Clinton is with women voters. This is why I'm primarily interested in financial success.
To hell with these dumb chicks. Let them marry a turd and live in misery. I'm going to have a nice home, car, and retire comfortably.
Heh. At least he knows what he wants.
If you're nice, she thinks you are a puss, chump and not a real man. It's always been this way and always will be.
Actors, pro athletes, rock stars, and drug dealers are always awash with women, and these guys are known scum.
These guys are also the ones who are rated with the highest testosterone levels. This is the jerk's secret and he doesn't even realize it.
Fourth Male
This male we all know. His name is Jake Steed:
Here are some examples for you. I have a co-worker and friend who is one of the best natural seductionists I've ever met.
He has fvcked more women than any of the guys here could dream of. Yes, he parties, and yes he seduces.
Yes! We all have met them.
He just so happens to be the most brilliant, accomplished person of his position in the company. So how about your theory that seduction "swallows" you up? Don't be rediculous. LIFE is about balance.
And yes! Jake illustrates my point here. The answer is because he does not 'seduce'. He is natural man. Highly testosteronized males, especially if they can control it, rise far in the businessworld.
The difference between Apollonian and Dionysian at its ROOT LEVEL is that Apollonian CONTROLS Nature while Dionysian is CONTROLLED by it. Apollonian is not to cast Nature out to the netherworld or to be a killjoy.
I'll take my example a bit further. I actually showed him this website, and you know what he did? He laughed his ass off.
He couldn't understand how guys like the guys here could devote so much time and energy into discussing women. He doesn't even THINK about what he does. He just does.
THANK YOU JAKE! I have been saying this on and on and on. In the 'Kill the Desperation' thread, when asked about my 'philosophy', I said there was none and you guys got confused. Later, when I said to stop treating love and sexuality like an academic degree (studying books and websites on the subject), you guys got mad at me.
This isn't rocket science, it is women. And the answers are already embedded in your nature.
So where does that leave YOU? This guy is building an amazing career AND fvcking tons and tons of hot ass women--while you and I are here discussing the fvcking path of Apollo VS the path of Dionysis and some guy named Pook who has risen to godlike status on some little known message board. So just WHO's on the Apollo path here?
Don't confuse Apollonian with career success.
Later, RDToo adds:
The thing that is never addressed is the quality of women that you want to get with. I would bet that Ross Jefferies has never had a real quality woman. Women are not as dumb as alot of guys here seem to think, and they learn from experience as well as we do. I know a very quality woman who shoots down all seduction attempts. She says the thing that attracts her is the "quality of character" in a man. I do not think that learning SS is building that kind of characters.
THANK YOU RDTOO! Speed Seduction cannot build character because the focus is (let us say it together): ENTIRELY ON THE
WOMAN.
Gentlemen, when you want beautiful women you are in the big leagues. SS is more concerned with quantity than quality. This
was why I left it behind.
To INCREASE testosterone
No, do not run out and get shots. In our modern world cubicles and style, we are at desks and usually not in a state of action. But there are some easy ways to increase one's testosterone naturally and have the effects of:
-Greater Confidence
-Action
-Boldness
-Strength
No more analyzing
Turn OFF your computer and stop reading and rereading seduction knowledge. The only true benifet of the seduction material was not in the HOWs of getting seduction, it was opening your eyes of how Nature actually works. When I was a Nice Guy and read Tony's Get Laid Guy, it did a number on my head. It smashed all my nice guy 'philosophies'.
Build up the Body
Oddly, working out does seem to have more psychological effects then physical ones. Jerks always usally have nice bodies. Keep in the state of action.
Several of the guys in the 'health and fitness' forum we never hear from in the other forums. WHY? Because they know they don't need philosophies.
Listen to Anthony Ellis of the skinnyguy.net who says:
You have to have that drive and determination, and the change has to come from within. All the exterior things they don't mean much. You want to change the way you see life. You want to change your relationships. You want to make your workplace better. You want to be happier.
But Mr. Ellis, who went from scrawny guy to impressive muscle guy, I have noticed people who discovered that when they can change their bodies, they can change their whole lives. Did you notice that?
I'm definitely more confident. I believe in myself a lot more. I feel I can do other things I would never have thought to do before. I'm not afraid to be out at night, and that's a big deal for me. I enjoy the city so much more. I'm a part of it now.
And doing this is not brain surgery; I didn't save someone's life. But I improved my life, which is very difficult to do.
How many people are trying to lose fat? How many are trying to gain muscle? How many people are trying to get control of their lives? I have, and I feel empowered. I have no doubt any direction I choose to take my life will be successful.
You've kept this up for about a year now. You've got the solid muscle mass, a great physique, a great outlook, but what does long-term success mean to you? Is this going to be part of it?
This is definitely part of my life now. It's a permanent fixture. I may make slight adjustments, but once you go on this trip, there's no return ticket. You don't want to go back. It's like going to Hawaii. You don't want to come back because you have seen the other side. Once you get going, once you get the momentum going, once you start looking better, once you start feeling better, you don't want to stop. You want to keep exercising, to keep looking good and feeling good.
What do you tell people who don't believe this is possible?
When I meet people with that type of attitude people who say, "That's not possible" I tell them, "For you it's not possible because you don't believe it. If you don't believe you can do it, you can't."
I think they need to believe it before it will work for them. When they open their minds, things are going to start happening. Doors are going to start opening. They see the reality of the situation.
It's absolutely 100% necessary to believe you can do it. I mean really believe it deep down inside.
I've come to realize that most of what happens to you is a result of you. It all comes from inside. Everything you do, everything you are, how you handle everything that happens to you is your responsibility. So if you want to change, look inside. When you decide to change from the inside, the outside will fall into place.
For as you think, you shall become. This is why the focus must always remain ON YOU.
Some other things:
Joining a Sport
Every male needs good 'ol competition. Ever notice why the 'jocks' get the girls? Perhaps its because their testosterone levels shoot up or at least appear to?
Eating More
For skinny guys, this is a must. It strengthens the body.
Don't take yourself so seriously
This is for the shy and hesitant guys. You need to get over the fact that the world does not revolve around you. It never has and never will. No one will care if you hit on a chick. No one will care if you make a move on her. Do not rationalize away your desires.
Start doing some of the things the 'awful' jerks do.
Try getting on stage and being some rock star. Your testosterone levels will shoot up. Try acting. Since projection is all, your levels of testosterone will rise. Women will naturally sense it (and also because it will spring off other actions).
A New Start
Let us consider the Nice Guy vs. Jerk debate to be over. The Nice Guy is a male who is afraid or doesn't embrace his
testosterone. The Jerk should be seen as the Testosteronized Male.
What we understand, we have power to use. What we do not understand, it has power to use us.
For we possess the ability to restart our lives over again. Be not scared (by acting nice or relying on mental tricks) to do what your testosterone was put there to make you do.
Be natural = Be Man
------------------
POOK
------------------------
WildThang: Pook is talking crap.
Bashful: Don't listen to Pook!
blitzx: His popularity is his writing style. Pook doesn't post anything new.
cyclonus: Pook is a hypocrite. An illogical prophet...
CrazyRapala: That damn damn Pook!
Jake Steed: and some guy named Pook who has risen to godlike status...
---------------------------
QUOTE: Hlaing Thar Yar, Myanmar - Chicken-seller Thin Sandarin had always dreamt of being a man.
When she inexplicably grew a penis last month, the 21-year-old treated it as an awe-inspiring omen - as have the thousands of stunned villagers who have travelled to a pagoda to see him.
"On the morning of the full moon day of June 21, I noticed my thing (sex organ) was not the same as before," Thin Sandar, who now goes by the male name Than Sein, said on Wednesday.
"And my breasts disappeared," Than Sein added. "So I called out and showed it all to my mom and dad. It was very strange."
Experts have examined him, and he awaits test results from a women's hospital. - Sapa-AFP.
The 'Secret of the Jerk' post detailed this occuring in lab rats. There are legends and mythologies of this occuring throughout various cultures.
Though I am curious if the opposite is true. Can guys have their penis drop off and a vagina appear, with breasts appearing?
Apparently not. Testosterone stains. Once you've been immersed in testosterone (first in the womb, then in puberty) you cannot 'go back'. But that doesn't mean you can become very femine and weak. You'll still have balls, just not in the metaphorical sense.
Previous Pook Index Next
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Pook #20 - Perfect is Boring
The gratitude of the ladies has crowned me with the label Don Juan.
I should have definitely declined the title if I saw it as most do! When a gentleman logs onto the website, he thinks, "I will absorb everything that is Don Juan...
QUOTE: Don Juan! What is he? What ought he to do? All we know is the word catches all our imaginations, all our dreams, as we envision him, clad in black, macking the girls from all points in sight. Oh, that Don Juan! He does everything perfect! with the ladies! If only we could absorb all techniques, all fashions, all behaviors, and engage with no fear, all the ladies will be ours!"
This viewpoint is so prevalent and dominant, I now understand why some people are GLUED to this forum! Perhaps there is a way to scrape us off our 'reading materials' once and for all.
The Perfect Player...
My roommate and I were watching one of those dating shows (I forget which). Two guys were competing for the ladies. One was a super player who was saying all the right things and getting physical with them. The other guy was a super horny dude that was loud, making crude comments, and literally humping the chicks.
My roommate was in awe of the player. “That guy rules! He is playing both of them. He is kissing both of them!” The other guy, in the pool, was humping the water jets and jumping around. The ladies said about him, “It is like a date with a 2 year old!” The player dude was feeling quite secure when the ladies would say, “Thank goodness I am with you. That guy is complete nuts!”
When it came time for the choosing, however, my roommate and I differed on whom the chicks would choose. “The player dude, obviously. He was PERFECT.” But I knew better. “What! No, no, the girls are going to go for the super horny guy.” My roommate thought I was nuts.
When the girls chose though, the player dude, Mr. Alpha Male, ended up all alone while the girls chose the horny dude. “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” my roommate cracked.
Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful.
The Player LOST to the horny dude because even though the Player Dude did THE RIGHT THINGS to the ladies, he was still boring. The horny dude had more personality than the Player in every encounter.
“But Pook! I do not get it!”
A creative director from Hollywood told me this,
“Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie.
Take the successful lawyer who goes to the gym all the time. BORING. What is Human about him? One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, chicks are going to expect you to be ‘perfect’.
We must fall in order to rise. The little goodie who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings.
Perfection is boring. To be Human is Beautiful.
Modeling! You think modeling is about perfection? “Yes, Pook. I believe it is.” Sure, there are standards. But anyone can play the role of a mannequin. Even in modeling, there is heavy emphasis on penetrating the lens, to ‘be Human’ so to say, to slip your personality throughout.
Music! What? You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be ‘perfect’? When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. When you play in a symphony or band, you obviously let the director place you in your role. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard. Compare that guy to the ‘perfect player’ and the player with thrill will always, always win.(To you guys still scared about dating and all, consider this: put fun into the woman and fun comes out. Put happiness into the woman and happiness comes out. What do you try to do instead? Do you try to be so 'perfect' that she will go crazy over you? Where a Nice Guy uses flowers, you use flowery acts. Unfortunately, you’ll find that vaginas are not laced with gold.)
Writing! Look at the finest writers in history. Shakespeare is bawdy. Milton goes into full egotistical mode. Even some of ****ens’s works seem incomprehensible. If you consider the so called ‘perfect’ works to those, they don’t compare. Take your professors who write these so called ‘brilliant’ academic books that no one reads. People do not admire brilliance; they do not admire technical perfection. People admire the Humanity, the personality, found in works. People do not admire Napoleon for his military and artillery genius. They admire him because he had the audacity to say on a corpse filled battleground, “All these men will be replaced by a single night in Paris.”
Popularity! Take any politician. What do they try to do? Why, they try to be PERFECT in your eyes. They speak to you as if you are a four year old, using focus grouped sayings and canned generalizations. The result is that every politician gets viewed as the same, are all boring. Which politicians are remembered? It is the one not with ‘failings’ but with a humanity of their own. Now look from women’s eyes. All these men try to be ‘perfect’ to the ladies so they all come off as BORING. A ‘humanized’ guy, no matter what his failing, is always more desirable than a PERFECT Nice Guy, super intellectual, or dried up player.
Why does ‘perfection’ fail with the ladies? Because when you strive to be ‘perfect’, you enter an Anti-Life mode. You end up not really living but fulfilling some imaginary barometer of virtue, of thought, or other Human measuring stick.
QUOTE:
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.
William Blake
Now why do we strive towards ‘perfection’? To get the PERFECT women? There are obviously no perfect women. Even a Playboy centerfold can turn into a FAT EVIL HAG. (*cough* Anna Nicole Smith *cough*)
I’d imagine the ‘perfection’ comes from the thought that the WOMAN obtained will be like heavenly rain in a parched desert. All the things you’re looking for in life… joy, sociality, and even sexuality must come from YOU. And you know what? Examine the ladies you ARE attracted too. They already have the joy, socialibility, and sexuality. When they look at you, you may think you are ‘perfect’ but they see a joyless frustrated creature.
There was this guy who went to the gym almost all the time. His diet was PERFECT. His workout routines were PERFECT. His clothing was PERFECT. His six pack… no, EIGHT pack was PERFECT. He MODELED. He got involved in ACTING. He looked like a GREEK GOD. When he walked about, all the ladies noticed him. He used his flesh like a masculine dress. Aside from those that used and discarded him as a boy toy, the ladies always broke up with him. How could they break up with this ADONIS? “He is so BORING” they all said in chorus. After all, he spent most of his time in the gym or being consistent with his perfect diet. If this guy spent less time being perfect and more time being human, he would be much more successful with the ladies and much happier.
There was this other guy that became a super successful lawyer. He bought the token status car and made a mini-mansion. He went to the gym every other night. He had money, had status, and looked great. He thought the ladies would find him PERFECT. Well, they did find him perfect but not for the reasons he wanted. They found him PERFECT for STABILITY. So he married a ‘super hot babe’ and had kids (which he paid for a nanny to take care of). What does the ‘super hot babe’ do? She cheats on him! “Don’t you love him?” "Yes, yes I very much do,” and she speaks the truth. No, she sleeps around because SHE IS BORED. He dehumanized everything. She doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to raise the kids, and doesn’t have to do anything. Of course she won’t leave him. And of course she is in ‘love’ with him (or rather his STABILITY). Yet, she is bored and cheats on him. If the guy was a bit more human and less perfect, she might find her husband more interesting than his foolish role of Mr. Perfection.
So when you think, “I have been on this forum for X amount of time! And I am STILL A) Virgin B) Single C) Non-LTR D) Not getting the girl I want. I have A) Read the DJ Bible again and again B) Gotten advice from the posters here C) Read and bought many DJ books.”
Consider: “Are you trying to PERFECT yourself when it comes to women or are you trying to HUMANIZE yourself that you find interacting with women as natural as breathing?”
The difference is all.
Shakespeare Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.
Tennyson
Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null,
Dead perfection, no more.
Hazlitt No one ever approaches perfection except by stealth, and unknown to themselves.
Orwell The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one IS sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.
*
I see you now. I know your gaze is fading from the computer screen… Look at me! Pook hits the table. For the love of God, listen! Your life depends on this.
When you see a girl you want to approach, or you are getting cold feet about a date, remember three words:
“Perfect is boring…”
Three words!
“Perfect is boring…”
Your brain will spin out all these reasons why you are unworthy…
“Cheap and wimpy car.”
“Poor clothes”
“Shortness”
“Bad haircut”
“No money.”
“Not as good looking”
“No confidence”
“Past failures”
“Perfect is boring!” and watch those reasons evaporate. Stand up! Already, the blood is pulsing through your veins. You’ve always wanted to do this but have always been scared of yourself. Let go.
You stand up and go out the door.
Go! Go!
You see a beautiful woman but are afraid to approach.
“Perfect is boring…” and you go and talk to her.
But you like to spend your free time on the computer. So what? Talk to her.
You are scared to ask for her number… “Perfect is boring…”
She gave you the number! Again, you are scared of the date. Too many unknowns!
But…
“Perfect is boring…”
Look! She is smiling at you! She wants to kiss you!
But you have never kissed a girl before. Would you mess it up? Would you slobber over her? What of it!
“Perfect is boring…”
*Smooch*
She loves it! Now look at what position she is in! You know what to do…
For the love of yourself, for the love of life, you are letting go and are actually becoming human.
Pity those who want the perfect life! Break me, tear me apart, let me be beaten and altered by life, let my life be touched and touch in return for I will be Human, for there is no reason on earth to be scared of yourself.
Perfect is boring… let it be written in the sky, painted on buildings, read with your eyes, transcribed on your soul. All those people who are ALONE are perfect… but those with the girl realize that being perfect is boring!
Previous Pook Index Next
I should have definitely declined the title if I saw it as most do! When a gentleman logs onto the website, he thinks, "I will absorb everything that is Don Juan...
QUOTE: Don Juan! What is he? What ought he to do? All we know is the word catches all our imaginations, all our dreams, as we envision him, clad in black, macking the girls from all points in sight. Oh, that Don Juan! He does everything perfect! with the ladies! If only we could absorb all techniques, all fashions, all behaviors, and engage with no fear, all the ladies will be ours!"
This viewpoint is so prevalent and dominant, I now understand why some people are GLUED to this forum! Perhaps there is a way to scrape us off our 'reading materials' once and for all.
The Perfect Player...
My roommate and I were watching one of those dating shows (I forget which). Two guys were competing for the ladies. One was a super player who was saying all the right things and getting physical with them. The other guy was a super horny dude that was loud, making crude comments, and literally humping the chicks.
My roommate was in awe of the player. “That guy rules! He is playing both of them. He is kissing both of them!” The other guy, in the pool, was humping the water jets and jumping around. The ladies said about him, “It is like a date with a 2 year old!” The player dude was feeling quite secure when the ladies would say, “Thank goodness I am with you. That guy is complete nuts!”
When it came time for the choosing, however, my roommate and I differed on whom the chicks would choose. “The player dude, obviously. He was PERFECT.” But I knew better. “What! No, no, the girls are going to go for the super horny guy.” My roommate thought I was nuts.
When the girls chose though, the player dude, Mr. Alpha Male, ended up all alone while the girls chose the horny dude. “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” my roommate cracked.
Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful.
The Player LOST to the horny dude because even though the Player Dude did THE RIGHT THINGS to the ladies, he was still boring. The horny dude had more personality than the Player in every encounter.
“But Pook! I do not get it!”
A creative director from Hollywood told me this,
“Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie.
Take the successful lawyer who goes to the gym all the time. BORING. What is Human about him? One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, chicks are going to expect you to be ‘perfect’.
We must fall in order to rise. The little goodie who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings.
Perfection is boring. To be Human is Beautiful.
Modeling! You think modeling is about perfection? “Yes, Pook. I believe it is.” Sure, there are standards. But anyone can play the role of a mannequin. Even in modeling, there is heavy emphasis on penetrating the lens, to ‘be Human’ so to say, to slip your personality throughout.
Music! What? You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be ‘perfect’? When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. When you play in a symphony or band, you obviously let the director place you in your role. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard. Compare that guy to the ‘perfect player’ and the player with thrill will always, always win.(To you guys still scared about dating and all, consider this: put fun into the woman and fun comes out. Put happiness into the woman and happiness comes out. What do you try to do instead? Do you try to be so 'perfect' that she will go crazy over you? Where a Nice Guy uses flowers, you use flowery acts. Unfortunately, you’ll find that vaginas are not laced with gold.)
Writing! Look at the finest writers in history. Shakespeare is bawdy. Milton goes into full egotistical mode. Even some of ****ens’s works seem incomprehensible. If you consider the so called ‘perfect’ works to those, they don’t compare. Take your professors who write these so called ‘brilliant’ academic books that no one reads. People do not admire brilliance; they do not admire technical perfection. People admire the Humanity, the personality, found in works. People do not admire Napoleon for his military and artillery genius. They admire him because he had the audacity to say on a corpse filled battleground, “All these men will be replaced by a single night in Paris.”
Popularity! Take any politician. What do they try to do? Why, they try to be PERFECT in your eyes. They speak to you as if you are a four year old, using focus grouped sayings and canned generalizations. The result is that every politician gets viewed as the same, are all boring. Which politicians are remembered? It is the one not with ‘failings’ but with a humanity of their own. Now look from women’s eyes. All these men try to be ‘perfect’ to the ladies so they all come off as BORING. A ‘humanized’ guy, no matter what his failing, is always more desirable than a PERFECT Nice Guy, super intellectual, or dried up player.
Why does ‘perfection’ fail with the ladies? Because when you strive to be ‘perfect’, you enter an Anti-Life mode. You end up not really living but fulfilling some imaginary barometer of virtue, of thought, or other Human measuring stick.
QUOTE:
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.
William Blake
Now why do we strive towards ‘perfection’? To get the PERFECT women? There are obviously no perfect women. Even a Playboy centerfold can turn into a FAT EVIL HAG. (*cough* Anna Nicole Smith *cough*)
I’d imagine the ‘perfection’ comes from the thought that the WOMAN obtained will be like heavenly rain in a parched desert. All the things you’re looking for in life… joy, sociality, and even sexuality must come from YOU. And you know what? Examine the ladies you ARE attracted too. They already have the joy, socialibility, and sexuality. When they look at you, you may think you are ‘perfect’ but they see a joyless frustrated creature.
There was this guy who went to the gym almost all the time. His diet was PERFECT. His workout routines were PERFECT. His clothing was PERFECT. His six pack… no, EIGHT pack was PERFECT. He MODELED. He got involved in ACTING. He looked like a GREEK GOD. When he walked about, all the ladies noticed him. He used his flesh like a masculine dress. Aside from those that used and discarded him as a boy toy, the ladies always broke up with him. How could they break up with this ADONIS? “He is so BORING” they all said in chorus. After all, he spent most of his time in the gym or being consistent with his perfect diet. If this guy spent less time being perfect and more time being human, he would be much more successful with the ladies and much happier.
There was this other guy that became a super successful lawyer. He bought the token status car and made a mini-mansion. He went to the gym every other night. He had money, had status, and looked great. He thought the ladies would find him PERFECT. Well, they did find him perfect but not for the reasons he wanted. They found him PERFECT for STABILITY. So he married a ‘super hot babe’ and had kids (which he paid for a nanny to take care of). What does the ‘super hot babe’ do? She cheats on him! “Don’t you love him?” "Yes, yes I very much do,” and she speaks the truth. No, she sleeps around because SHE IS BORED. He dehumanized everything. She doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to raise the kids, and doesn’t have to do anything. Of course she won’t leave him. And of course she is in ‘love’ with him (or rather his STABILITY). Yet, she is bored and cheats on him. If the guy was a bit more human and less perfect, she might find her husband more interesting than his foolish role of Mr. Perfection.
So when you think, “I have been on this forum for X amount of time! And I am STILL A) Virgin B) Single C) Non-LTR D) Not getting the girl I want. I have A) Read the DJ Bible again and again B) Gotten advice from the posters here C) Read and bought many DJ books.”
Consider: “Are you trying to PERFECT yourself when it comes to women or are you trying to HUMANIZE yourself that you find interacting with women as natural as breathing?”
The difference is all.
Shakespeare Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.
Tennyson
Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null,
Dead perfection, no more.
Hazlitt No one ever approaches perfection except by stealth, and unknown to themselves.
Orwell The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one IS sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.
*
I see you now. I know your gaze is fading from the computer screen… Look at me! Pook hits the table. For the love of God, listen! Your life depends on this.
When you see a girl you want to approach, or you are getting cold feet about a date, remember three words:
“Perfect is boring…”
Three words!
“Perfect is boring…”
Your brain will spin out all these reasons why you are unworthy…
“Cheap and wimpy car.”
“Poor clothes”
“Shortness”
“Bad haircut”
“No money.”
“Not as good looking”
“No confidence”
“Past failures”
“Perfect is boring!” and watch those reasons evaporate. Stand up! Already, the blood is pulsing through your veins. You’ve always wanted to do this but have always been scared of yourself. Let go.
You stand up and go out the door.
Go! Go!
You see a beautiful woman but are afraid to approach.
“Perfect is boring…” and you go and talk to her.
But you like to spend your free time on the computer. So what? Talk to her.
You are scared to ask for her number… “Perfect is boring…”
She gave you the number! Again, you are scared of the date. Too many unknowns!
But…
“Perfect is boring…”
Look! She is smiling at you! She wants to kiss you!
But you have never kissed a girl before. Would you mess it up? Would you slobber over her? What of it!
“Perfect is boring…”
*Smooch*
She loves it! Now look at what position she is in! You know what to do…
For the love of yourself, for the love of life, you are letting go and are actually becoming human.
Pity those who want the perfect life! Break me, tear me apart, let me be beaten and altered by life, let my life be touched and touch in return for I will be Human, for there is no reason on earth to be scared of yourself.
Perfect is boring… let it be written in the sky, painted on buildings, read with your eyes, transcribed on your soul. All those people who are ALONE are perfect… but those with the girl realize that being perfect is boring!
Previous Pook Index Next
Monday, July 19, 2004
Pook #19 - What Every Skinny Guy Should Know...
Smart, fun, and interesting. So why is it that all the beautiful women always seem out of your grasp?
Why!? You may even be athletic. You can do karate, can run super fast around the track, along with other things. So why does it seem you can get the average to cute girls but the very attractive women seem out of your reach?
What is holding you back is that you are skinny.
“But I like being skinny,” you say. “Look at all those fat people!” Indeed. “Those guys who go to the gym and all are just idiots.”
There was an article in the Atlantic Constitution that said how average women marry skinny guys over big guys. It also said… why am I parroting? Let the article speak for itself:
QUOTE: "When women are choosing mates - except for very attractive women -- they're facing a tradeoff of choosing a guy who's very sexy or one who will stick around and treat them well," he added.
It is self-evident that beautiful women end up with the masculine men, in other words, NOT skinny guys like you.
I know… I can hear what the objections you’re saying… because I used to make them. It seemed so ‘jock like’ and is ‘below you’.
I have gained over 50+ pounds of muscle mass. There is a saying that when skinny guys get big, when they look in the mirror, they still see the skinny guy. This is true, as my ‘skinny mind’ hasn’t yet caught up with my body.
Let me tell you of the change of reactions I got from the women:
For your reading pleasure,
Fat Girl = Means a big girl that requires an elephant gun.
Ugly Girl = In the same category as Fat Girl. These girls may not be fat, but it hurts to look at them.
Average Girl = They don’t hurt your eyes, but they aren’t amazing enough to attract your eyes. Average girls are the plain Janes.
Cute Girls = Often, they are innocent average girls whose innocence makes them cute. They are a bit picky about who they end up with as they are inexperienced.
Very Attractive = Great curves, long luscious hair, nice everything. These women know they are very attractive and sometimes narcissistically wear outfits to reflect it.
Very Beautiful = Bombshell. Every guy will notice this girl and stare and gawk. You know one of these women are around by seeing the satellites of boys trying to be ‘friends’ with them. Guys fear these magnificent creatures.
155
I started out around 155 pounds at 6’3 height. This meant that I was very skinny. I was also considered a nice looking guy. Women loved me being tall.
At this point, I had to deal with a lot of fat chicks hitting on me. These girls were BIG and I wanted nothing to do with them. Ugly girls also would come to me. This was me not doing anything. This was what my body was attracting all alone. If I wanted to get a cuter girl, I had to work for it.
I have problems talking to women, not because I am scared or boring, but because I sense the women think I am ‘below’ them. And the truth is that they do.
I date average women.
165
Already, things have changed. The fat/ugly women still go for me but they don’t think I’m as easy. They want to enter oneitis with me. The ‘unworthy’ girls category would now all be staring at me. To the beautiful women, I’m just a typical guy. Cute girls now enjoy talking to me.
I still date average women and now some cute women
175
“You are looking very good,” my older female manager told me. The fat/ugly women no longer hit on me (thank goodness!) and people (out of the blue) are asking why I don’t have a girlfriend. Average girls are beginning to stare.
I date only cute women with some very attractive ones mixed in.
185
Average girls are now hitting on me. Very attractive women are checking me out. At this stage, every woman is happy to talk to me. They all secretly wonder if I’m gay.
I date more very attractive women but still have the cute ones.
195
OK, when you don’t have a girlfriend at this stage, the ladies will whisper, “Is he gay?” all the time. One girl got bold about it and asked me point blankly, “Pook, you are cute and all. So why don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was stunned by her bluntness (rare among women).
Average women consider me out of their league. Cute ones try to become my ‘friend’.
I date only very attractive women. Beautiful women are still a bit of an anomalie.
205
When you get to this stage, something very strange happens. All the attention and staring women gave you is gone (mostly). Ugly/Fat women will despise you as will the average women. Most girls will be scared of you (cute girls, very attractive girls)
Let me give you some examples. One Very Beautiful girl was in several of my classes. I start talking to her and she has plenty of time to leave. But she doesn’t… she stays to keep talking to me. The girls now notice me, but are a bit scared to talk and act around me.
One cute girl is like a leech to me in one of my classes. She must sit right next to me, must ‘borrow my notes’, must talk to me 20 minutes after class everyday…
One Very Beautiful woman was a fitness instructor at my gym (think ‘well muscled’ with nice strong legs (those strong thighs come in handy with her dealings with the Pook-man!)). Every time I saw this girl, she always had a ‘satellite’ boy around her. Who does she end up with? Me.
Or the ultimate example: there was a girl I was in oneitis that drove me to this webpage. As I got bigger, her reactions to me changed as well. At 155, I was ‘average’. At 175, she knew something was up. I got her at 195.
Now I date some Very Attractive women but most are Very Beautiful Women.
I know many of you guys are saying the same thing, “I get beautiful women too and I am skinny!” But the thing is, all these examples here is based on attraction on the body alone. I am NOT working to get these women. My body is doing 99% of the attracting. I can just be a statue and get a response. (But of course, you have to take action. This is based on doing zilch.)
Rather than work hard to get one woman, why not work hard on yourself and get all the women? I don’t work hard to get women, I work hard on my dreams which gets the women automatically.
Like the article says on top, only the extremely beautiful women will risk being with a hunk like you. If you want a girl with a great body, you ought to work on your own body.
Coming from a skinny guy, being big is a totally different world. The worst thing is finding out how people really viewed the old you. People now openly insult my past skinny self and it hurts. It hurts because I never knew they had thought that way of me. Clothes no longer hang on my body properly, but I look terrific naked (I am saying this for the mental imagery of our lovely lady readers).
Big guys are allowed to get away with more things. I allowed to be cruder, to be bolder, to take advantage of women more (I’m serious!), and so on. You can also be stupid as well. My biggest problem is women only wanting me for sex (no, this is not a joke. Yes, it is a problem). You try to find a girl that fits your life and all she is interested in is your body! It is like getting rich and putting up with gold diggers.
So how do you go from being skinny guy to brawny guy? There is a lot of information on the Internet. Diesel’s Guide to Bulking Up threads in the Health Forum is a start. For myself, I used Anthony Ellis’s program. 30lbs in 3 months, no joke. Though, for most people beginning, it will be like 30lbs in 4-5 months. The big problem with fitness is that there are so many different opinions. Many of them are wrong and will waste your time (including trainers). What I loved about Ellis’s program was that it cut all the hype and came up with very in-depth information. It works.
However, the risk with body building is that it can turn into a highly narcissist womb. I often think the mirrors in the gyms are not so much to perfect the form, but to perfect the ego. The risk is that you will try to become perfect and we all know that perfect is boring.
Now for a note to the skinny guys who are successful with women. They will, no doubt, post replies to challenge the relevancy of this post. Know that the central… thrust… of the post is not a bettering of image. It is an increase of testosterone. If you are naturally skinny, and are at a higher muscle mass, your body will continually be at a high state of testosterone building and rebuilding muscle mass just to stay the same. High rates of testosterone affects not only your actions, I believe women can sniff it out. So take a guy, stuffed with testosterone, and push him into a room full of lovely young ladies. He doesn’t speak a word. He won’t have to. The women will go to him automatically.
Such is the power of testosterone. Such is the power of sexuality.
Previous Pook Index Next
Why!? You may even be athletic. You can do karate, can run super fast around the track, along with other things. So why does it seem you can get the average to cute girls but the very attractive women seem out of your reach?
What is holding you back is that you are skinny.
“But I like being skinny,” you say. “Look at all those fat people!” Indeed. “Those guys who go to the gym and all are just idiots.”
There was an article in the Atlantic Constitution that said how average women marry skinny guys over big guys. It also said… why am I parroting? Let the article speak for itself:
QUOTE: "When women are choosing mates - except for very attractive women -- they're facing a tradeoff of choosing a guy who's very sexy or one who will stick around and treat them well," he added.
It is self-evident that beautiful women end up with the masculine men, in other words, NOT skinny guys like you.
I know… I can hear what the objections you’re saying… because I used to make them. It seemed so ‘jock like’ and is ‘below you’.
I have gained over 50+ pounds of muscle mass. There is a saying that when skinny guys get big, when they look in the mirror, they still see the skinny guy. This is true, as my ‘skinny mind’ hasn’t yet caught up with my body.
Let me tell you of the change of reactions I got from the women:
For your reading pleasure,
Fat Girl = Means a big girl that requires an elephant gun.
Ugly Girl = In the same category as Fat Girl. These girls may not be fat, but it hurts to look at them.
Average Girl = They don’t hurt your eyes, but they aren’t amazing enough to attract your eyes. Average girls are the plain Janes.
Cute Girls = Often, they are innocent average girls whose innocence makes them cute. They are a bit picky about who they end up with as they are inexperienced.
Very Attractive = Great curves, long luscious hair, nice everything. These women know they are very attractive and sometimes narcissistically wear outfits to reflect it.
Very Beautiful = Bombshell. Every guy will notice this girl and stare and gawk. You know one of these women are around by seeing the satellites of boys trying to be ‘friends’ with them. Guys fear these magnificent creatures.
155
I started out around 155 pounds at 6’3 height. This meant that I was very skinny. I was also considered a nice looking guy. Women loved me being tall.
At this point, I had to deal with a lot of fat chicks hitting on me. These girls were BIG and I wanted nothing to do with them. Ugly girls also would come to me. This was me not doing anything. This was what my body was attracting all alone. If I wanted to get a cuter girl, I had to work for it.
I have problems talking to women, not because I am scared or boring, but because I sense the women think I am ‘below’ them. And the truth is that they do.
I date average women.
165
Already, things have changed. The fat/ugly women still go for me but they don’t think I’m as easy. They want to enter oneitis with me. The ‘unworthy’ girls category would now all be staring at me. To the beautiful women, I’m just a typical guy. Cute girls now enjoy talking to me.
I still date average women and now some cute women
175
“You are looking very good,” my older female manager told me. The fat/ugly women no longer hit on me (thank goodness!) and people (out of the blue) are asking why I don’t have a girlfriend. Average girls are beginning to stare.
I date only cute women with some very attractive ones mixed in.
185
Average girls are now hitting on me. Very attractive women are checking me out. At this stage, every woman is happy to talk to me. They all secretly wonder if I’m gay.
I date more very attractive women but still have the cute ones.
195
OK, when you don’t have a girlfriend at this stage, the ladies will whisper, “Is he gay?” all the time. One girl got bold about it and asked me point blankly, “Pook, you are cute and all. So why don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was stunned by her bluntness (rare among women).
Average women consider me out of their league. Cute ones try to become my ‘friend’.
I date only very attractive women. Beautiful women are still a bit of an anomalie.
205
When you get to this stage, something very strange happens. All the attention and staring women gave you is gone (mostly). Ugly/Fat women will despise you as will the average women. Most girls will be scared of you (cute girls, very attractive girls)
Let me give you some examples. One Very Beautiful girl was in several of my classes. I start talking to her and she has plenty of time to leave. But she doesn’t… she stays to keep talking to me. The girls now notice me, but are a bit scared to talk and act around me.
One cute girl is like a leech to me in one of my classes. She must sit right next to me, must ‘borrow my notes’, must talk to me 20 minutes after class everyday…
One Very Beautiful woman was a fitness instructor at my gym (think ‘well muscled’ with nice strong legs (those strong thighs come in handy with her dealings with the Pook-man!)). Every time I saw this girl, she always had a ‘satellite’ boy around her. Who does she end up with? Me.
Or the ultimate example: there was a girl I was in oneitis that drove me to this webpage. As I got bigger, her reactions to me changed as well. At 155, I was ‘average’. At 175, she knew something was up. I got her at 195.
Now I date some Very Attractive women but most are Very Beautiful Women.
I know many of you guys are saying the same thing, “I get beautiful women too and I am skinny!” But the thing is, all these examples here is based on attraction on the body alone. I am NOT working to get these women. My body is doing 99% of the attracting. I can just be a statue and get a response. (But of course, you have to take action. This is based on doing zilch.)
Rather than work hard to get one woman, why not work hard on yourself and get all the women? I don’t work hard to get women, I work hard on my dreams which gets the women automatically.
Like the article says on top, only the extremely beautiful women will risk being with a hunk like you. If you want a girl with a great body, you ought to work on your own body.
Coming from a skinny guy, being big is a totally different world. The worst thing is finding out how people really viewed the old you. People now openly insult my past skinny self and it hurts. It hurts because I never knew they had thought that way of me. Clothes no longer hang on my body properly, but I look terrific naked (I am saying this for the mental imagery of our lovely lady readers).
Big guys are allowed to get away with more things. I allowed to be cruder, to be bolder, to take advantage of women more (I’m serious!), and so on. You can also be stupid as well. My biggest problem is women only wanting me for sex (no, this is not a joke. Yes, it is a problem). You try to find a girl that fits your life and all she is interested in is your body! It is like getting rich and putting up with gold diggers.
So how do you go from being skinny guy to brawny guy? There is a lot of information on the Internet. Diesel’s Guide to Bulking Up threads in the Health Forum is a start. For myself, I used Anthony Ellis’s program. 30lbs in 3 months, no joke. Though, for most people beginning, it will be like 30lbs in 4-5 months. The big problem with fitness is that there are so many different opinions. Many of them are wrong and will waste your time (including trainers). What I loved about Ellis’s program was that it cut all the hype and came up with very in-depth information. It works.
However, the risk with body building is that it can turn into a highly narcissist womb. I often think the mirrors in the gyms are not so much to perfect the form, but to perfect the ego. The risk is that you will try to become perfect and we all know that perfect is boring.
Now for a note to the skinny guys who are successful with women. They will, no doubt, post replies to challenge the relevancy of this post. Know that the central… thrust… of the post is not a bettering of image. It is an increase of testosterone. If you are naturally skinny, and are at a higher muscle mass, your body will continually be at a high state of testosterone building and rebuilding muscle mass just to stay the same. High rates of testosterone affects not only your actions, I believe women can sniff it out. So take a guy, stuffed with testosterone, and push him into a room full of lovely young ladies. He doesn’t speak a word. He won’t have to. The women will go to him automatically.
Such is the power of testosterone. Such is the power of sexuality.
Previous Pook Index Next
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Pook #18 - Lesson Fifteen: The Greatest Risk You Can Take in Life is Not To Risk It All!
The young man had all the knowledge he could dream of about women and life. He stepped into the Casino of Life and approached the game. A man placed the dice, the new ones the young man had been so busy forging in his mind into the young man’s hands.
“Pook! I recognize the young man you speak of. It is you!”
“Alas, I’ve only been telling you my own recollections with every lesson here. When I condemn the young man, I am only condemning myself. Let us continue:”
Pook looked onto the board and saw the squares of victory with their prizes. He shook the dice in his hand, knowing that it wasn’t the victories earned that mattered. “The zest of life is the rattle of dice in the cup,” he said to himself.
The Gamesmaster asked, “Monsieur Pook, how much are you willing to bet on the throw of your dice?” Pook looked at his dice. They were the dice of Talent, Dreams, and Endurance. He looked at his stack of chips, one color being whatever property and ‘things’ he had, another being his societal connections including that of his family and friends, and the most treasured type of chip of one’s most awesome resource: time.
Pook told the Gamesmaster, “Put it all on the table.” The Gamesmaster looked alarmed. “But if you do that, you may lose all your property, all your society, and all your time, and thus, your life. Are you willing to bet all that on your Talent, Dreams, and Endurance?” Everyone in the Casino was looking at Pook now. Very very few people bet it all.
“All on the table,” Pook repeated, rattling the dice. Laughing, he rolled the bones and said,
“The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!”
“You can be the smartest person in the world, the most talented, the most persistent, but you will never win in the world or with women unless you embrace the glory of RISK.”
“But Pook, I am scared of risk. What if I lose?”
Pook slapped the youth. “You cannot lose! Everyone wants to define your life, to shape it to their ends. From politicians to your friends. Everything is all right as long as you stay you. But if you break out of the mold, everyone, and I do mean everyone, will try to stop you.”
“So how can we not lose?”
“Just as on the battlefield, the valiant warrior losing in glorious battle is honorable. It is not the victory that defines the Man, it is the fight. There are some people who somehow have this curse or bad luck and must eat an excrement sandwich everyday. They win everytime they struggle against that.”
“So to risk is to fight. Then all this knowledge and ‘insights’ are merely the sword, shield, armor, and weapons we fight with? And those who fight, unarmed, are more worthy than those who sit there completely clad with the finest of weapons?”
“Yes. Paradise, spoken slowly, is literally a 'pair-of-dice'. Gamble what you have. For if you bury your talent and dreams to sit on it, you will receive the wrath of heaven. ‘Unworthy servant!’ will be screamed at you.”
“But what if the situation itself seems IMPOSSIBLE? What if ALL ODDS SEEM AGAINST YOU? What happens then?”
Pook, exhausted from this post, began to vanish towards the Pook Place where all Pooks come from. “Just remember…”
“Opportunities are brilliantly disguised as impossible situations!”
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“Pook! I recognize the young man you speak of. It is you!”
“Alas, I’ve only been telling you my own recollections with every lesson here. When I condemn the young man, I am only condemning myself. Let us continue:”
Pook looked onto the board and saw the squares of victory with their prizes. He shook the dice in his hand, knowing that it wasn’t the victories earned that mattered. “The zest of life is the rattle of dice in the cup,” he said to himself.
The Gamesmaster asked, “Monsieur Pook, how much are you willing to bet on the throw of your dice?” Pook looked at his dice. They were the dice of Talent, Dreams, and Endurance. He looked at his stack of chips, one color being whatever property and ‘things’ he had, another being his societal connections including that of his family and friends, and the most treasured type of chip of one’s most awesome resource: time.
Pook told the Gamesmaster, “Put it all on the table.” The Gamesmaster looked alarmed. “But if you do that, you may lose all your property, all your society, and all your time, and thus, your life. Are you willing to bet all that on your Talent, Dreams, and Endurance?” Everyone in the Casino was looking at Pook now. Very very few people bet it all.
“All on the table,” Pook repeated, rattling the dice. Laughing, he rolled the bones and said,
“The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!”
“You can be the smartest person in the world, the most talented, the most persistent, but you will never win in the world or with women unless you embrace the glory of RISK.”
“But Pook, I am scared of risk. What if I lose?”
Pook slapped the youth. “You cannot lose! Everyone wants to define your life, to shape it to their ends. From politicians to your friends. Everything is all right as long as you stay you. But if you break out of the mold, everyone, and I do mean everyone, will try to stop you.”
“So how can we not lose?”
“Just as on the battlefield, the valiant warrior losing in glorious battle is honorable. It is not the victory that defines the Man, it is the fight. There are some people who somehow have this curse or bad luck and must eat an excrement sandwich everyday. They win everytime they struggle against that.”
“So to risk is to fight. Then all this knowledge and ‘insights’ are merely the sword, shield, armor, and weapons we fight with? And those who fight, unarmed, are more worthy than those who sit there completely clad with the finest of weapons?”
“Yes. Paradise, spoken slowly, is literally a 'pair-of-dice'. Gamble what you have. For if you bury your talent and dreams to sit on it, you will receive the wrath of heaven. ‘Unworthy servant!’ will be screamed at you.”
“But what if the situation itself seems IMPOSSIBLE? What if ALL ODDS SEEM AGAINST YOU? What happens then?”
Pook, exhausted from this post, began to vanish towards the Pook Place where all Pooks come from. “Just remember…”
“Opportunities are brilliantly disguised as impossible situations!”
Previous Pook Index Next
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Pook #17 - Lesson Fourteen: Always Have a Back-up Chick
The young man had one problem left. He would be very successful with women, from one night stands, from casual dating, from relationships, and so on. Yet, every now and then, he got that feeling of something BURSTING through his chest like a creature popping out from Alien.
The woman would talk to him, “Blah blah blah.” He felt it inside, a very sweet but gooeish feeling. She would go on, “Blah yappity blah blah” and he felt the sickly warm feeling spread throughout his body. What was happening to him? “Yappity yap blah blah, yapitty, blah yap!” the girl continued as he felt the FEELINGS spread throughout his body, paralyzing him, like a poison. “Yah blah blah yah,” she went on, oblivious as he was collapsing from this sickness.
The next day, he had this OVERWHELIMG urge to send her flowers, chocolate, and bad poetry. It was too much, and he gave in, and saying, “You are my life. I love nothing else so well as you. I will do ANYTHING for you.”
Then she said, “I think we should just be friends…”
Oh, that AFC disease rose up again in him! How does one smash it forever? He smiled, and realized:
Always have a back-up chick!
“But Pook! Perhaps this guy was falling in love!”
“No. It was a False Love. Come and see.”
Pook led the youth inside Every Man’s Heart. Inside the cavernous room, each surrounding wall depicted television screens with a graphic.
“What is this place?”
“Every guy has a passion about different things. On that wall is his ‘car’ passion. We see many screens of different cars, all ones he loves. On that other wall there is his ‘food’ passion. We see screens of all his favorite foods. And if you come along here, you’ll find the Ambition Wall where screens show all the things he wants to do. Now look at the Women Wall.”
“Pook! There is only one picture on it!”
“Yes. Nature has designed us to love in a marriage way when there is only one picture on that wall.”
“I can understand that. But where is the problem?”
“The problem is that he is not married or engaged to her! So he is acting married to her when really they are ‘dating’ or ‘just friends’.”
“Oh dear…”
“Yes. When a guy decides to go dating and dates only ONE chick at a time, only one picture will appear on the wall. When there is only one, he is designed to think of her in a marriage way. So he starts becoming AFC with this girl he just talked to.”
“So say if a guy is socially unskilled and has only one friend that is a girl, only that girl’s picture will appear on the wall? And because of that, he will ‘fall in love’ with his friend?”
“Exactly! If there is only one f*ckbuddy, he will eventually want to ‘date’ the girl, want to become exclusive with her, and turn into a total AFC.”
“But if he has a back-up chick…”
“…then another girl is on the wall as well. He can’t act ‘married’ if there is more than one girl up there. Thus, he stops becoming a ‘latent AFC’.”
“But what if he has his interest in other things? Shouldn’t he date only one girl then?”
“No. Either go for MANY or go for NONE. If you go for ONE you will become an AFC. Most guys are too LAZY or too SCARED to go for multiple girls. So they remain AFCs and forever remain in the vicious cycle.”
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The woman would talk to him, “Blah blah blah.” He felt it inside, a very sweet but gooeish feeling. She would go on, “Blah yappity blah blah” and he felt the sickly warm feeling spread throughout his body. What was happening to him? “Yappity yap blah blah, yapitty, blah yap!” the girl continued as he felt the FEELINGS spread throughout his body, paralyzing him, like a poison. “Yah blah blah yah,” she went on, oblivious as he was collapsing from this sickness.
The next day, he had this OVERWHELIMG urge to send her flowers, chocolate, and bad poetry. It was too much, and he gave in, and saying, “You are my life. I love nothing else so well as you. I will do ANYTHING for you.”
Then she said, “I think we should just be friends…”
Oh, that AFC disease rose up again in him! How does one smash it forever? He smiled, and realized:
Always have a back-up chick!
“But Pook! Perhaps this guy was falling in love!”
“No. It was a False Love. Come and see.”
Pook led the youth inside Every Man’s Heart. Inside the cavernous room, each surrounding wall depicted television screens with a graphic.
“What is this place?”
“Every guy has a passion about different things. On that wall is his ‘car’ passion. We see many screens of different cars, all ones he loves. On that other wall there is his ‘food’ passion. We see screens of all his favorite foods. And if you come along here, you’ll find the Ambition Wall where screens show all the things he wants to do. Now look at the Women Wall.”
“Pook! There is only one picture on it!”
“Yes. Nature has designed us to love in a marriage way when there is only one picture on that wall.”
“I can understand that. But where is the problem?”
“The problem is that he is not married or engaged to her! So he is acting married to her when really they are ‘dating’ or ‘just friends’.”
“Oh dear…”
“Yes. When a guy decides to go dating and dates only ONE chick at a time, only one picture will appear on the wall. When there is only one, he is designed to think of her in a marriage way. So he starts becoming AFC with this girl he just talked to.”
“So say if a guy is socially unskilled and has only one friend that is a girl, only that girl’s picture will appear on the wall? And because of that, he will ‘fall in love’ with his friend?”
“Exactly! If there is only one f*ckbuddy, he will eventually want to ‘date’ the girl, want to become exclusive with her, and turn into a total AFC.”
“But if he has a back-up chick…”
“…then another girl is on the wall as well. He can’t act ‘married’ if there is more than one girl up there. Thus, he stops becoming a ‘latent AFC’.”
“But what if he has his interest in other things? Shouldn’t he date only one girl then?”
“No. Either go for MANY or go for NONE. If you go for ONE you will become an AFC. Most guys are too LAZY or too SCARED to go for multiple girls. So they remain AFCs and forever remain in the vicious cycle.”
Previous Pook Index Next
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