“All rise!”
sosuave.com enters the courtroom with extravagant robes. Like an old man, he walks slowly to the judge’s chair and sits. Everyone else sits after him.
sosuave.com puts on his glasses and says softly, “What is the matter?” The officer quickly walked over to sosuave.com and handed him the papers. Squinting through his glasses, he examined the papers.
“Who represents the Defense?”
A feminist stands. (Note: she is fat and ugly with a poisonous personality as most feminists are.)
“You represent All Women?”
“I do.”
Sosuave.com reads from the sheet. “You are accused of being Machiavellian rather than wise, calculating rather than smart, mimicking rather than confidant, full of gestures rather than full of actions, a highwayman who changes personalities and clothes to steal Man’s egos, a mind-shaper who possesses no identity, no virtues, no morals, no truths, and is ultimately a barbaric petty child-like species who transform all these vices into virtues under the hypnotic state called ‘Love’.”
He looked up. “How do you plead?”
“Innocent.”
“Now let us hear the argument. The representative of the Men may begin.”
Pook jumped from his seat. “Thank you, Your Honor. Many men are afflicted with the disease known as Nice Guyius Patheticus. Now, the symptoms of such disease are awful. The afflicted male will sacrifice dead plants as tokens of affection, write bad poetry, will speak in a language of banquets, and act like a fool in every and all ways.”
“Objection!”
“Yeah, you would object.”
The feminist snorted, “The matter is about women, not about men.”
“No,” sosuave.com answered. “Women effect men's behavior. Let us hear the argument.”
Pook smiled. “I call my first witness, the man with alligator skin when it comes to women, ANTI-DUMP!”
Anti-Dump walks in and stands in the front. The officer rushes by and holds up a rather thick book. “Place your hand on the DJ Bible.” He did so. “Do you swear, above all, to be a Man, to speak the truth of everything woman, to live with no apology, to know what you want and how to get it, and live to the fullest so through Don Juan?”
“I do.”
Pook paced back and forth. "Now, Anti-Dump, what would you suggest now to guys?"
"That men should stop trying to figure out if women or any woman likes them. Men are NOT women. Take off the dress guys.
It is WOMEN that wonder if a guy likes them before anything happens. Men have somehow picked up this bad habit from women."
"Go on."
"The thought of whether she likes you should never cross your mind. It is not important BEFORE you ask for the number. The important thing is you WANTING her. Always ask yourself "Do I want this one?". And the answer should be 'Wow. Boy do I!' That is all you need to know. Real men TAKE what they want."
Pook turned toward the jury, which had one of each twelve members plucked from the last twelve centuries to have a true verdict of History. "As Anti-Dump is saying, men are beginnning to think like women. Obviously, feminism has made a great change. Your witness."
The feminist approached Anti-Dump with caution. "Why are such an male-guided hard-nosed pig!?"
"But that's why you love me!"
Disgusted, she said, "No more questions."
As Anti-Dump left the stand, Pook set up charts. "Members of the jury! In every age, no man would be afraid of a girl. Certainly, he would not look at a woman as one looks at a trialing oddessey."
Pook turned toward the jury. "No, I have not gone beserk. I only agree with the D.C. sniper with ONE thing he said:
"Oprah Winfrey will cause the downfall of Mankind.
"Hence, it remains for us to acknoledge the weeds of Babylon emerging around this garden of men. Young people are caught up in imitations they do not know, do not wish to understand, but vainly beat their chest proclaiming how 'free' they now are without realizing that they are entering a prison that took prophets, the blood of martyrs, crusades on the battlefield, for us to emerge. A flight of vultures, of feminist harpies are circling overhead to pick at Man as vultures picked at Prometheus. These feminists (both the female and male variety) believe that they are highly progressive and well advanced. Yet, they are centuries behind the times.
"Feminism came without warning... and conquered men. It has created a generation of neurotic males. A male of this time may be one of them.
-Do you believe it is wrong to judge a woman by how she looks?
-Do you believe it is wrong to advance on a woman, sexually, with no verbal consent?
-Do you believe women have been 'discriminated' because of their gender, that males intentionally put women down?
-Do you believe that in sex, it is wrong to even consider to 'have your way with her' and become and be the sensuous animal you've always dreamed?
-Do you believe women desire, as priority, respect?
"If you believe in any of these things, even just a little, you have been affected by Modern Feminism. It is the virus that creates the effects known as Nice Guyius Patheticus!
"Women are judged on looks because YOU are judged on your looks (and women are much harsher about it!). Feminists think a magazine picture 'tyrannizes' young women. 'Forget my body, what about my mind?' they say. But did you ever hear a woman say to the Nice Guy, 'Your mind is great but I love your body!'? And every male is witness to the fact that women run towards testosteronized males, i.e. jerks.
"Why do men fail with women? It is because they respect them. This ‘great respect’ men find in women is nothing more than a lack of self respect, a lack of confidence. Woman’s reflectory nature must have something to reflect. If there is no confidence, there is no man. If there is no man, there can be no real male and, thus, any love.
"A recent Time magazine cover blared," Pook pointed to it, "that men and women are biologically different. Time treated this as a great discovery. But didn't we all know this when we turned age three or four? Feminism cannot see any biological differences between the sexes from the neck up."
The feminist interrupted. "Is there a point to all this?"
"Members of the jury, notice her tidy suit. Men change their clothes to match their lifestyles/attitudes. Women change their lifestyles/attitudes to match their clothes. Put her in a hula dress and she will start hula dancing!"
Before she could object, Pook added,
"Anyone who has thought about women will find little to value in them. The increase of thought about them; the increase of negativity is subscribed to them. The root of Nice Guyism is thinking too much about them. The more action you engage in, the more likely you are to get the hot chicks."
Sosuave.com hammered the gavel and let the feminist call her witness. It was an average normal woman. The feminist's witness placed her hand on the 'Feminist Mystique' book, whose true name is actually the Feminist Mistake. When she was done, Pook asked her some questions:
"Many men ask, 'What is the purpose of feminism?' After all, women have their votes, their careers, and their business-suits. Normal movements shut down once achieving their goals. Thus, feminism is not a normal movement.
"Now, let us question the women.
The woman, representing all women, was in the stand. Pook walks around her slowly, tapping on the bright light overhead.
“Why did you become a feminist?”
“Because… I was everything else. I was a daughter. Then, I became a woman. After that, I became a girlfriend. Then, I became a wife and mother. I had been everything. I was bored. Being a feminist was IT. There is nothing higher!”
Pook makes his voice louder. “SO YOU ADMIT THE TRUTH!”
“I do! I do! I confess!”
“NOW we see the picture. Woman sees herself in relation to society. Women are in a never ending war between mind and body. The body says, “YES!” while the mind, ever remembering the status of reputation, says ‘NO!’ Oh, if there only was a something that could FREE women of this state!”
“Yes…”
“Something that could make *****s respectable…”
“Yes!”
“And sluts sublime…”
“Oh yes!"
“To turn the abandonment of motherhood into ‘fulfilling a woman’s potential!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!"
“To make nagging infinite, to let fat girls feel free to get fatter, and to give ugly girls a societal role!”
“OHHHH YESSSSS!” She falls unconscious.
“That is the purpose of feminism: to let women do whatever they want with an air of morality, to turn feminine immorality into virtue. Thus, the problem of feminism is not men but women.
"The truth: Feminism is not declaring war on masculinity but on femininity! Feminism is a political Tower of Babylon to escape the truth of Human Nature.
"I'm in America. And I LOVE foreign chicks. They are just so feminine. Here, the chicks act masculine and get fat. They find it shameful to place their time and talents into their family and children (whereas, it should be their greatest joy).
"I think it is great honor, joy, privledge, and pleasure to be a Man. Women can trump us as they can be a Mother of Men. There is much glory in masculinity and femininity. But feminists are AGAINST both.
Feminists Are Against Sexuality
"They attack masculinity and femininity as the former being the cause of oppressing, and the latter as the effect of the oppressed! Feminists desire a dull gray androgenous world without the sparkling lightning and glow that sexuality brings. The result is androgeny everywhere with both genders putting their priority on sex (here, there, anywhere, all positions, with all certain arrangements of threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc.) The reason WHY is because sex, something no law or political philosophy can touch, is the only thing that makes women feel like women and men feel like men. Everything else that revolved around it (the old style dating, courtship, of suitors, of gentlemen, of class, of charm) has been politicized out of existance."
Pook called forth a band of men.
"Oh gentlemen! What is left for men to do that is male?"
"Gadgets."
"Sex with women."
"Bodybuilding."
"Sex with women."
"Hunting."
"Sex with women."
"Video games."
"Sex with women."
"Beer."
"Sex with women."
"Maxim."
"What answers are these! Where there was once the concept of Man as warrior, Man as philosopher, Man as many things, Manhood has been savagely attacked and brought down by the earthly beast who glitters with political maxims and whose crown is academic 'scholarship' that is supposed to 'prove' its glitter. In other words, the concept that masculinity and barbarism are one of the same is their new ruling scepter. As long as people belive in this idea, they will sit on that throne. This ties in to the belief that women have always been poor victims of masculinity, enslaved by the evil of 'Manhood'.
"I am pro-sex! Not in the way of libertines acting out beastial episodes, but in the manner of sexuality. Some people here have said, 'Pook! Why do you bring in things like literature and 'historic men' into this site? What do these have to do with anything?' They have everything to do with this site, for the majority of us are learning to embrace our sexuality, of both men and women. You can see sexuality as the key to the genius of Michelangelo's David and the dazzling energy and insight of Shakespeare. You can see the matter of sexuality bring up the great men onto the historical stage. You can find sexuality as being the core to great art and a key to genius. (But with sexuality removed, no wonder the great writings, art, and personalities of our Time are non-existant. Now, they are said to exist because of the politics behind them. But there is nothing 'great' or time defying in politics so they will not last).
"I am not exagerrating. Look at college campuses. They are full of girls. Boys are failing more and more in school. Less and less men are marrying because they are on strike against the current climate. In sexuality, Atlas is shrugging.
"This website should not exist. We, men, should not have to inquire on mating practices (for what is more natural than that!?)
Sosuave.com hit the gavel. "Get to the point, Pook!"
"It is proven that modern feminism has made men into apologizing neurotics. It has caused hell in the romantic union of the sexes. The virtue of feminism is to backstab men. So brute a part that feminism capitally plays, that no man will be given any due achievement.
"But feminism has done its worst damage outside the romantic realm. The slow cold rot of feminism has destroyed one male virtue after another until women cry out, 'Where have the men gone?'"
Pook pointed to the statistics showing females dominating universities and increasing their numbers. "Why is this? Because education has now become the process of de-genderization. Before, education was to turn a boy into a man. Mathematics, philosophy, literature, and so on were all to be used as tools or guides for Men against their fight of Nature and Time. These gentlemen had a style and class about them. They are extinct today."
The feminist started to complain again. So Pook addressed the point.
"She says that 'society has always been toward patriarchy'. In other words, men have been suppressing women down through the generations with their institutions and hierarchies. In order for women to free themselves, they must have political power.
"Thus, feminism is the poisoned fruit of Rousseau and classical teaching. Classical teaching, the echo of Romanism, holds that society is artificial. Society is a machine to be tampered and tweaked by the emperor. To these people, law creates society rather than society creating law. Rather than hold that society being the symphony of the rights of Man, this classical teaching puts society to be moved and sculpted by the law."
Pook takes out a scroll and reads:
"Rousseau is made to say,
Whoever ventures to undertake the founding of a nation should feel himself capable of changing human nature, so to speak; of transforming each individual, who by himself is a perfect and separate whole, into a part of a greater whole, from which that individual somehow receives his life and his being; of changing the physical constitution of man in order to strengthen it, etc., etc ... If it be true that a great prince is a rarity, what, then, is to be said of a great law- giver? The first has only to follow the model that the other constructs. The latter is the artificer who invents the machine; the former is only the operator who turns it on and runs it.
So what are people in all this? Why, they are merely the blocks and parts of the machine. No wonder feminists throw themselves at the legislative palace!
Let me call another witness: Ms. Wyldfire.
Wyldfire approached the stand. She put her hand on the DJ Bible as the officer said, "Do you swear, above all, to be a Man, to speak the truth of everything woman, to live with no apology, to know what you want and how to get it, and live to the fullest so through Don Juan?”
"I do."
Pook started to ask her about feminism until Wyldfire broke out ranting against it.
"There isn't and never has been any patriarchy....that's a totally bogus concept. True, things were oppressive for women back in the day, but they were also oppressive for men. While women had less choices, men bore the lion's share of the responsibility. The right to vote came at a price...the price of potentially laying down your life to protect this country.
"That was the same price for owning land. There was not all the high tech equipment we have today to help do the majority of the work...it was much harder work and men did almost all of it, and all of the most dangerous. In fairness to women, they didn't have the vacuum cleaners, electric washing machines or microwave ovens, so they worked hard. They were needed at home to keep the home running and the family cared for. It was a full time job. These gender roles were required for survival. It was never some evil plot to hold women down...it was a necessity."
"Your witness."
The feminist roared: "Explain the 'wage gap' then!"
"It's a farce. Feminists claim that women are only paid 74 cents for every dollar a man makes. This angers a lot of women. The figures themselves are correct, but they are not presented truthfully. The numbers represent men and women as a whole, NOT comparing a man and a woman in the same company with the same seniority, same experience and education. Men as a whole will always make more than women as a whole because there are stay at home Moms, wives who only work part time, and women who take time off to have babies. Men also work more overtime and more of the dangerous and higher paying jobs. It is against the law to pay a woman less than a man for the same job, and qualifications...so anyone who believes this feminist lie is not very bright."
"And the glass ceiling?"
"Yes, that proverbial "glass ceiling"! Feminists whine that there aren't enough women in corporate management. HELLO??? Women have only been in the work force with more women working than not for the last 20 years or so. Most corporate managers have put that much time in with the company before getting one of those jobs unless he's a family member of the owner. It's about paying dues and earning those positions, and women will get there as soon as they pay those same dues and invest that same time."
The feminist, defeated, said, "No more questions," and Wyldfire returned to her world.
Now came the time for closing arguments.
The jury of the twelve centuries listened intentively. The feminist ranted and raved. When she was done, Pook gave a calm and logical presentation, outlining what was already discussed. Feminism is essentially about DESEXUALIZATION. This is where Nice Guys, AFCs, come from. This is why feminists are so bitter. But since sexuality is no longer embraced, male-female harmonics becomes disrupted. Androgenous people sport in sex since that is the only way to make them feel male/female. Because of this desexualization, art, leadership, and education suffer.
Pook brought out another woman, one he met in flesh and blood. She was in her forties. She said, "I don't believe in feminism. Women are the dominant sex. Men are so naive about relationships and sexuality. Men may be physically dominant, but women are emotionally dominant. Who controls the finances in most homes? It is the woman. Look in the banks and you will find them filled with women. I could be a woman in any age. But I would never wish to be a man in this age, where manhood has been condemned.
"Members of the jury... Consider the choice you are making:
The Choice Before Us
"Of Man or Woman; this the choice of Humanity. Shall civilization be a Mankind who seeks to go forever forward and gain independence of spirit from the gross natural calamities that compose the flesh? Or shall civilization sigh into a Womankind that retreats back to infancy to a warm milk-flowing sleep? For the all, this raised empires and rots them within. For the one, this attracts respect or dishonor to make the life a series of avalanching regrets. For who would walk the path of a man and bear the thorns, traps, and trolls that nature’s filled? Of science! Of philosophy! Of art! For these are the stones of civilization! But how pure and blissful is the sleep that femininity dreams in! The dance and music of love’s eternity! The wine, the song, the crest of love itself! The choice not taken is always the choice yearned for. But are there not two sexes? Has not Nature divided Humanity into two distinct parts? Then let us choose both. Let women be women and let men be men. Let one hold up the scepter of Reaction and the rest embrace the Man, that infinite name of Action!"
The jury exited and made their decision. When they returned, Renaissance, Dark Ages, Middle Ages, Industrial Age, Pioneer Age, and so on took their seats. It was the Twentieth Century that announced the verdict:
"Guilty."
Sosuave.com announced the punishment: "Those who take feminism seriously will be condemned to bitterness, ugliness, and joylessness. Any males who listen will be condemned to loneliness, stuffed with Nice Guyius Patheticus."
There IS a war against men, gentlemen. And Feminism is leading the charge. Guilt filled men sound like this:
QUOTE: "One of the reasons I started to care about radical feminism as much as I did was because it seemed to resolve for me a certain dilemma about myself in relation to other men. I had always felt irremediably different - even when no one else noticed, I knew - I knew I wasn't really one of them. When I first began to come in contact with the ideas of radical feminism, those ideas seemed to put to rest that cer- tain trouble. Radical feminism helped me imagine a gender-just future, a notion of a possibility that men need not be brutish and loutish, that women need not be cutesy and coy. It was a vision that energized me. It helped me view the whole male-supremacist structure of gender as a social construction, not as a final judgment on our natures - and not as a final judgment on mine.
Radical feminism helped me honor in myself the differences that I felt between myself and other men; radical feminism helped me know my connections to the lives of women, with whom I had not imagined I would ever find a model for who I could be. And it's also true - and not easy to admit - that radical feminism helped provide me with a form in which to express my anger at other men - an anger that in men can run very deep, as many of us know."
He is different from most guys because he refuses to be male.
But he goes on:
QUOTE: "I think that for many men who have become anti-sexists over the past several years, their anti-sexism has had meaning to them for similar reasons. In various ways, feminism has blown like a gust of fresh air through a lifetime spent agonizing and anguishing about the place of other men in our lives. For a few of us, feminism has helped us breathe a bit easier."
Not so! By letting fat women get fatter, they choke on themselves! I see a couple of them riding those 'carts' in grocery stores all the time!
QUOTE: "But it would be a mistake to suggest that a man's antisexism puts to rest his ambivalence toward other men. I think that an antisexist consciousness actually makes the conflict more acute. Such a man perceives even more clearly the behaviors and attitudes in other men that he rejects, and he understands more about what those behaviors and attitudes mean, and in a sense they are the be- haviours and attitudes in himself that he wants to be rid of, and somehow other men can remind him of the parts of himself that have not changed very much at all, and whereas he briefly felt good about being different from other men, a part of him no longer feels quite different enough.
So his anger at other men intensifies, as a means of keeping clear to himself that he's an exception. Meanwhile he misses the company of other men - their ease, their companionship, the good feelings he remembers having had in their presence.
For many men, the issue of other men is a classic conflict of approach and avoidance. For a man whose life increasingly has to do with antisexism, the conflict cuts to the bone. He struggles with what it means to be a man - and whether he feels ashamed or proud."
And this guy feels ashamed. He actually wrote a book called "Refusal to be a Man" which is what I'm quoting.
So Which is it, good reader? You must now make the choice. It all comes down to:
Sosuave's Be a Man or Oprah's Be a Man?
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Thursday, August 12, 2004
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Pook #42 - Feeling down about your love life? Read this!
OK. So you don't have a girlfriend. You're not getting any sex. On your current course, you're about to become a Monk. You feel down and saddened.
Why!?
"But Pook, I got no girl!" That is not the problem. The problem is that you place your happiness on a girl. You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're happy being single. Get away, endulge yourself in your hobbies and work. Whatever you do, do not sit there and regurgitate your emotions. Take Action.
But the more common is, "But Pook, I am doing my hobbies and work. I have a natural need for intimacy. I am tired of being single!"
And I am sure it is especially burning that you walk around and see these happy couples, hand in hand, with huge smiles on their faces, almost as if they are mocking you. But fear not! You are way ahead of the other males.
How do most guys act? Either they are Nice Guys or Jerks, very rarely are there true Good Guys.
Nice Guys
Look at these guys in their relationships or in their marriages. You know who wears the pants in the relationship. These poor guys never understood the Game and are just relieved to have settled down. They are AFCs for life.
Most nice guys spend their 20's in misery until women in their 30's are ready to settle down. It is so sad to see these AFCs in such manner.
Some got a bit wise and looked at Dating Books. Unfortunately, most books make Nice Guys more feminine because they are written on what women SAY but not what they DO.
These poor chaps have no backbone! I watched my (then) roomate get a call from a girl saying that she was hungry and because she was studying, HE was to go to Subway to get her a sandwhich! Alas, he did this. This patheticness is not the exception, it is the common.
See that cutie pie in those oh so tight pants? Most guys would chicken out in approaching her. In fact, many would go, "Run! Don't let us know that we are looking at her!" Pathetic! Pathetic! Pathetic!
Or the guy who calls the girl of his affections night after night, hour after hour? Pathetic!
When I was young, I remember a guy driving ALL the way to my house (I live out in the boonies) to return to my sister a glove. She was pleasant but didn't let him get in the front door. She said to me, "Whatever you do, do not act like that. Do not call a girl all the time. Do not act that way."
Or a co-worker, completely infatuated, follows the girl around like a puppy. The proximity is obvious. When he wasn't around, all the girls would get together and laugh and joke at him, all declaring how pathetic he was. Aren't you glad you're not that guy now?
When my sister and her boyfriend were going out, my sister was breaking up and getting back together with him again and again and again. He wised up and eventually thundered, "Listen woman! Either stay with me or go! Make up your damn mind." She stayed with him and the two married. If he was a 'nice guy' and scared of confrontation, do you think she would have stayed with him? No.
What about the guys who just sit there and wait for girls to approach them? In their mind, they think, "Please ask me out!" Guys should never count on women to ask them out.
Or in the married life, nice guys who are afraid to lead because of their passitivity. They often marry the wrong woman because they are so tender to their own emotions and oblivious to reality. Indeed, there are shmiels who's wifes cheat on them constantly... and they put up with it.
Jerk
These and the Nice Guy are but one of the same, while a Nice Guy introverts himself, the Jerk extroverts himself. While the Nice Guy is constantly passive, the Jerk is constantly aggressive.
While the Nice Guy hides his sexuality and can't get chicks to be attracted to him (but are good long term relationship material, as girls confirm by saying to Nice Guy, "You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type I'd marry") the jerk erupts his sexuality everywhere, gets chicks attracted to him, but can never keep them.
The jerk has no confidence, which is why he is a jerk in the first place. True criticisms sting him and collapses his spirit.
Notice how the Jerk may get chicks long enough for sex, he fails completely in life. He ends up being a janitor or something similiar. The girls he bedded with? All of them insecure little girls. It is pathetic and very very sad.
Some guys have gotten confident enough to take action, talk to girls, etc. But very few have true backbone. Even fewer then that have the Don Juan skills expressed in the articles and on this forum.
Most guys are pathetic. Most are chumps. Women simply get tired of looking and will 'settle' for who they are with. It is so sad.
But you, on the other hand, you are not a chump and are definetely not pathetic. You are a good catch. Fear not having no intimacy right now, for with your mindset and skills will ensure you luxurious intimacy for the course of your life.
Can the Passive (Nice) Guy speak of true passion within his relationship? Can the Jerk (Coward) speak of true success and true maturity within relationships? Of course not.
You are enlightened and know something 99% of the other guys do not: how to handle women. For if you don't, women will handle you.
One out of four marriages is when the woman never loved the guy anyway but just 'settled down'. Out of the 'love' marriages, most of the women fall out of love. More women then men commit adultery. 80% of relationships are broken up by women.
Why is this!? Mostly, because of patheticness. When you get down, think of all the guys that suffer from this. Then realize that you are truly free, for you possess the knowledge that makes you a Man.
*
How do you achieve such a mindset? That's a hard question since it varies with everyone.
Remember when you were a full fledged Nice Guy and first read the articles on this website? Aside from the techniques you learned, did you notice how you began to look at things differently?
That shows you are on the right track.
Remember yourself beating your head into the wall because there was this drop dead cutie pie who was nearby, was alone, perfect to be approached yet you chickened out? You thought, "Oh my goodness! What am I doing!? She was RIGHT THERE and I could have talked to her. Now when thinking about it, I realize that perhaps she was there HOPING that I would talk to her. AURGH! I CAN'T DO THIS! I HATE MYSELF!"
This is a sign that you are also on the right track. Why? Because you are noticing opportunities now. Before, you didn't. Your mind is grasping the Romance Game. Don't expect to be successful all at first. Such a change of an outlook of life doesn't happen all at once. It takes some time.
(No one goes from Nice Guy to Great Guy in a day. You simply have to keep improving yourself, becoming more comfortable with yourself, and notice the small changes your romance/flirting life is having. Cherish them)
Or how about the time when you asked for a girl's number and got blown off. Or worse, you got her number but when asking her out she replied, "Oh, well, you see my fish is having a severe mental breakdown. He is swimming in circles and has a passive look on his face. I must stay and tend to his needs." And you say, "Hmm, ok. Well, bye." And you THROW AWAY the number!
BEFORE, the nice guy would say, "Poor fish! Oh, how I feel for the poor creature! Please, let me come over and help you aid the dear! Let me message fishy oils on its fins and finger feed it the flaky fish food it so craves. We shall help it get better!"
The Nice Guy would call another time or keep trying. But you, on the other hand, wrote this idiot woman off.
This too is a sign that you're on the right track.
When a girl says to you, "Hey! Stop all your plans and take me to see this chick flick!" The Nice Guy would go, "OH BOY! I LOVE CHICK FLICKS!" and would rush right over. But YOU would say, "On such notice? Sorry, we're going to have to reschedule. I have plans that night."
Or how about the time when a (guy) friend of yours looks at this radiant voluptuous beauty, hides his face and squeals, "Oh, she is out of my league." But you think differently then he does. You APPROACH her and chat as if you were completely oblivious to her beauty. She may or not respond, but either way, your friend now looks at you with respect for having the courage to just walk up to her like that. (No, not respect. Awe.)
This, too, shows you're on the right track.
There's no shame in failure, only shame in not trying. Even when you don't try, the fierce guilt that tears you up is a sign that you are changing for the better and killing that nice guy within you.
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Why!?
"But Pook, I got no girl!" That is not the problem. The problem is that you place your happiness on a girl. You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're happy being single. Get away, endulge yourself in your hobbies and work. Whatever you do, do not sit there and regurgitate your emotions. Take Action.
But the more common is, "But Pook, I am doing my hobbies and work. I have a natural need for intimacy. I am tired of being single!"
And I am sure it is especially burning that you walk around and see these happy couples, hand in hand, with huge smiles on their faces, almost as if they are mocking you. But fear not! You are way ahead of the other males.
How do most guys act? Either they are Nice Guys or Jerks, very rarely are there true Good Guys.
Nice Guys
Look at these guys in their relationships or in their marriages. You know who wears the pants in the relationship. These poor guys never understood the Game and are just relieved to have settled down. They are AFCs for life.
Most nice guys spend their 20's in misery until women in their 30's are ready to settle down. It is so sad to see these AFCs in such manner.
Some got a bit wise and looked at Dating Books. Unfortunately, most books make Nice Guys more feminine because they are written on what women SAY but not what they DO.
These poor chaps have no backbone! I watched my (then) roomate get a call from a girl saying that she was hungry and because she was studying, HE was to go to Subway to get her a sandwhich! Alas, he did this. This patheticness is not the exception, it is the common.
See that cutie pie in those oh so tight pants? Most guys would chicken out in approaching her. In fact, many would go, "Run! Don't let us know that we are looking at her!" Pathetic! Pathetic! Pathetic!
Or the guy who calls the girl of his affections night after night, hour after hour? Pathetic!
When I was young, I remember a guy driving ALL the way to my house (I live out in the boonies) to return to my sister a glove. She was pleasant but didn't let him get in the front door. She said to me, "Whatever you do, do not act like that. Do not call a girl all the time. Do not act that way."
Or a co-worker, completely infatuated, follows the girl around like a puppy. The proximity is obvious. When he wasn't around, all the girls would get together and laugh and joke at him, all declaring how pathetic he was. Aren't you glad you're not that guy now?
When my sister and her boyfriend were going out, my sister was breaking up and getting back together with him again and again and again. He wised up and eventually thundered, "Listen woman! Either stay with me or go! Make up your damn mind." She stayed with him and the two married. If he was a 'nice guy' and scared of confrontation, do you think she would have stayed with him? No.
What about the guys who just sit there and wait for girls to approach them? In their mind, they think, "Please ask me out!" Guys should never count on women to ask them out.
Or in the married life, nice guys who are afraid to lead because of their passitivity. They often marry the wrong woman because they are so tender to their own emotions and oblivious to reality. Indeed, there are shmiels who's wifes cheat on them constantly... and they put up with it.
Jerk
These and the Nice Guy are but one of the same, while a Nice Guy introverts himself, the Jerk extroverts himself. While the Nice Guy is constantly passive, the Jerk is constantly aggressive.
While the Nice Guy hides his sexuality and can't get chicks to be attracted to him (but are good long term relationship material, as girls confirm by saying to Nice Guy, "You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type I'd marry") the jerk erupts his sexuality everywhere, gets chicks attracted to him, but can never keep them.
The jerk has no confidence, which is why he is a jerk in the first place. True criticisms sting him and collapses his spirit.
Notice how the Jerk may get chicks long enough for sex, he fails completely in life. He ends up being a janitor or something similiar. The girls he bedded with? All of them insecure little girls. It is pathetic and very very sad.
Some guys have gotten confident enough to take action, talk to girls, etc. But very few have true backbone. Even fewer then that have the Don Juan skills expressed in the articles and on this forum.
Most guys are pathetic. Most are chumps. Women simply get tired of looking and will 'settle' for who they are with. It is so sad.
But you, on the other hand, you are not a chump and are definetely not pathetic. You are a good catch. Fear not having no intimacy right now, for with your mindset and skills will ensure you luxurious intimacy for the course of your life.
Can the Passive (Nice) Guy speak of true passion within his relationship? Can the Jerk (Coward) speak of true success and true maturity within relationships? Of course not.
You are enlightened and know something 99% of the other guys do not: how to handle women. For if you don't, women will handle you.
One out of four marriages is when the woman never loved the guy anyway but just 'settled down'. Out of the 'love' marriages, most of the women fall out of love. More women then men commit adultery. 80% of relationships are broken up by women.
Why is this!? Mostly, because of patheticness. When you get down, think of all the guys that suffer from this. Then realize that you are truly free, for you possess the knowledge that makes you a Man.
*
How do you achieve such a mindset? That's a hard question since it varies with everyone.
Remember when you were a full fledged Nice Guy and first read the articles on this website? Aside from the techniques you learned, did you notice how you began to look at things differently?
That shows you are on the right track.
Remember yourself beating your head into the wall because there was this drop dead cutie pie who was nearby, was alone, perfect to be approached yet you chickened out? You thought, "Oh my goodness! What am I doing!? She was RIGHT THERE and I could have talked to her. Now when thinking about it, I realize that perhaps she was there HOPING that I would talk to her. AURGH! I CAN'T DO THIS! I HATE MYSELF!"
This is a sign that you are also on the right track. Why? Because you are noticing opportunities now. Before, you didn't. Your mind is grasping the Romance Game. Don't expect to be successful all at first. Such a change of an outlook of life doesn't happen all at once. It takes some time.
(No one goes from Nice Guy to Great Guy in a day. You simply have to keep improving yourself, becoming more comfortable with yourself, and notice the small changes your romance/flirting life is having. Cherish them)
Or how about the time when you asked for a girl's number and got blown off. Or worse, you got her number but when asking her out she replied, "Oh, well, you see my fish is having a severe mental breakdown. He is swimming in circles and has a passive look on his face. I must stay and tend to his needs." And you say, "Hmm, ok. Well, bye." And you THROW AWAY the number!
BEFORE, the nice guy would say, "Poor fish! Oh, how I feel for the poor creature! Please, let me come over and help you aid the dear! Let me message fishy oils on its fins and finger feed it the flaky fish food it so craves. We shall help it get better!"
The Nice Guy would call another time or keep trying. But you, on the other hand, wrote this idiot woman off.
This too is a sign that you're on the right track.
When a girl says to you, "Hey! Stop all your plans and take me to see this chick flick!" The Nice Guy would go, "OH BOY! I LOVE CHICK FLICKS!" and would rush right over. But YOU would say, "On such notice? Sorry, we're going to have to reschedule. I have plans that night."
Or how about the time when a (guy) friend of yours looks at this radiant voluptuous beauty, hides his face and squeals, "Oh, she is out of my league." But you think differently then he does. You APPROACH her and chat as if you were completely oblivious to her beauty. She may or not respond, but either way, your friend now looks at you with respect for having the courage to just walk up to her like that. (No, not respect. Awe.)
This, too, shows you're on the right track.
There's no shame in failure, only shame in not trying. Even when you don't try, the fierce guilt that tears you up is a sign that you are changing for the better and killing that nice guy within you.
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Pook #41 - Cocky & Funny?
When you're in a line or doing something boring (like work), why not spice it up with that attitude? Works wonders!
A recent example:
A girl was in a happy mood (for whatever reason). I gave her a Pookish grin and said, "You're happy because I'm here!"
Big smile on her face and she shook her head.
Then I said, "You're happy because you're here at [company name]!"
She laughed but shook her head.
Then I stopped people passing by and said, "Ma'am. See her? She is HAPPY because she is at [company name]!"
And the lady would be, "Oh really!? Why, that's... blah blah"
And I'd get another person and say the same thing! I'd get their reaction.
Then I started getting people to guess why she was happy.
The reaction? She was laughing so hard she was almost on the ground.
I don't think it has anything to do with being cocky and funny but the ability to make any situation fun. For all girls want the FUN guys.
Previous Pook Index Next
A recent example:
A girl was in a happy mood (for whatever reason). I gave her a Pookish grin and said, "You're happy because I'm here!"
Big smile on her face and she shook her head.
Then I said, "You're happy because you're here at [company name]!"
She laughed but shook her head.
Then I stopped people passing by and said, "Ma'am. See her? She is HAPPY because she is at [company name]!"
And the lady would be, "Oh really!? Why, that's... blah blah"
And I'd get another person and say the same thing! I'd get their reaction.
Then I started getting people to guess why she was happy.
The reaction? She was laughing so hard she was almost on the ground.
I don't think it has anything to do with being cocky and funny but the ability to make any situation fun. For all girls want the FUN guys.
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Monday, August 09, 2004
Pook #40 - Do Girls Want Sovereignty?
I think Chaucer visited this subject in the Wife of Bath's Tale. His conclusion was the opposite, that women wanted to rule, at least be soverign in their own choices concerning pleasing their guy.
I don't think it is a farfetched idea to say that women view men differently then how we view them. We keep thinking that it is two people 'coming' together. Nah, I don't think women view it that way.
When a girl eyes a potential mate, what is going through her head?
-Cute?
-Tall?
-How much does he make?
-What is his earning potential?
-Is he funny? Will he make me laugh?
-Is he interesting?
-What are his friends like?
-Where does he go out to do for fun?
-Other girls like him. Therefore, I must investigate him further.
As men, we don't think about these things. Sure, we want a cute girl and all. But we never look at a chick and go,
"She's cute, Paul, but she doesn't have the earning potential that I'm looking for in a girl."
"Wowza! She is hot! But I wonder what her friendships are like?"
"I dont' like her at all! But George does, therefore, I must investigate what there is about her if George is attracted to her."
We don't think like this. It would be comical if we did.
If a guy is super hilarious, super comedian, the women go,
"I LOVE you!"
If a guy has millions of dollars, even if she knows nothing else about him, she will go,
"I will marry you!"
What is going on here? Are women's 'primal survival' skills operating?
Ask her,
"What do you want?"
She shrugs. She hasn't a CLUE of what she wants. Apparently she wants whatever guy the other girls want.
Women do not see guys. They see worlds. They see themselves exiting this realm of Nature and entering the guy's world.
Having an aura of humor, or having lots of money, or being cute and all, these are all different worlds to the girl.
She isn't interested in YOU, not in the way we think of it. She is very interested in your world. In other words,
If a guy has no friends, doesn't go out and have fun, is a drifter and has no path to get money, she is NOT going to be interested no matter his other elements.
MIKE: "HELO! My name is Mike. I play video games hours on end."
CHICK: "That's nice but we need to talk about our relationship..."
GEORGE: "I am crazy and do whatever I want. I paint my car screwed up colors, paint my house screwed up colors, and wear weird clothes!"
CHICK: "OMG! I LOVE you! Let me marry you now!"
It is the world the girl is after.
How do successful men act with women? They bring the lady into their world. When they date (at the beginning especially), it is HIS date ideas, he gets to be as creative or dull as he wants.
And she will judge you based on the world you are creating for her.
Remember, she is going to be defined by you. There is a reason why she takes your name.
We can argue which 'worlds' are more appealing to others with the women (a crazy spontaneos world or a more stable less risk world or such). But one thing that is very true is that women, above anything else, desire the guy to be himself, to show his world properly.
Nice Guys and chumps, who do not create any world of their own but try to 'please' the women, are despised the most by women.
She may not know what she wants. But she DOES know that YOU ought to know what you want.
She will 'fall in love' with a guy, become intermeshed in his world, and his goals often become hers. It is not so much sovereignty she wants but a guy's world.
"But Pook! Let us say we compare a super rich wimpy guy to the cocky @sshole! The @sshole will get the girl! Thus, you make no sense!"
But the @sshole guys has 'confidence'.
What is confidence but the LINK between your world and yourself, between your DREAM and DAY?
Guys with no confidence can create no worlds. She will see the wimpy rich guy and think how she can use him, not love him.
Like a child, women want to be seized and shown the glories of life. She is expecting you to take her hand and whisk her away to adventures, excitement, and fun, a world of color compared to her boring bland arena of Nature she resides in now.
And this is how you become Prince Charming.
Previous Pook Index Next
Related:
Empty Vessels and Relative Truth
Bonecrcker #47 - Living in La-La-Land
I don't think it is a farfetched idea to say that women view men differently then how we view them. We keep thinking that it is two people 'coming' together. Nah, I don't think women view it that way.
When a girl eyes a potential mate, what is going through her head?
-Cute?
-Tall?
-How much does he make?
-What is his earning potential?
-Is he funny? Will he make me laugh?
-Is he interesting?
-What are his friends like?
-Where does he go out to do for fun?
-Other girls like him. Therefore, I must investigate him further.
As men, we don't think about these things. Sure, we want a cute girl and all. But we never look at a chick and go,
"She's cute, Paul, but she doesn't have the earning potential that I'm looking for in a girl."
"Wowza! She is hot! But I wonder what her friendships are like?"
"I dont' like her at all! But George does, therefore, I must investigate what there is about her if George is attracted to her."
We don't think like this. It would be comical if we did.
If a guy is super hilarious, super comedian, the women go,
"I LOVE you!"
If a guy has millions of dollars, even if she knows nothing else about him, she will go,
"I will marry you!"
What is going on here? Are women's 'primal survival' skills operating?
Ask her,
"What do you want?"
She shrugs. She hasn't a CLUE of what she wants. Apparently she wants whatever guy the other girls want.
Women do not see guys. They see worlds. They see themselves exiting this realm of Nature and entering the guy's world.
Having an aura of humor, or having lots of money, or being cute and all, these are all different worlds to the girl.
She isn't interested in YOU, not in the way we think of it. She is very interested in your world. In other words,
If a guy has no friends, doesn't go out and have fun, is a drifter and has no path to get money, she is NOT going to be interested no matter his other elements.
MIKE: "HELO! My name is Mike. I play video games hours on end."
CHICK: "That's nice but we need to talk about our relationship..."
GEORGE: "I am crazy and do whatever I want. I paint my car screwed up colors, paint my house screwed up colors, and wear weird clothes!"
CHICK: "OMG! I LOVE you! Let me marry you now!"
It is the world the girl is after.
How do successful men act with women? They bring the lady into their world. When they date (at the beginning especially), it is HIS date ideas, he gets to be as creative or dull as he wants.
And she will judge you based on the world you are creating for her.
Remember, she is going to be defined by you. There is a reason why she takes your name.
We can argue which 'worlds' are more appealing to others with the women (a crazy spontaneos world or a more stable less risk world or such). But one thing that is very true is that women, above anything else, desire the guy to be himself, to show his world properly.
Nice Guys and chumps, who do not create any world of their own but try to 'please' the women, are despised the most by women.
She may not know what she wants. But she DOES know that YOU ought to know what you want.
She will 'fall in love' with a guy, become intermeshed in his world, and his goals often become hers. It is not so much sovereignty she wants but a guy's world.
"But Pook! Let us say we compare a super rich wimpy guy to the cocky @sshole! The @sshole will get the girl! Thus, you make no sense!"
But the @sshole guys has 'confidence'.
What is confidence but the LINK between your world and yourself, between your DREAM and DAY?
Guys with no confidence can create no worlds. She will see the wimpy rich guy and think how she can use him, not love him.
Like a child, women want to be seized and shown the glories of life. She is expecting you to take her hand and whisk her away to adventures, excitement, and fun, a world of color compared to her boring bland arena of Nature she resides in now.
And this is how you become Prince Charming.
Previous Pook Index Next
Related:
Empty Vessels and Relative Truth
Bonecrcker #47 - Living in La-La-Land
Sunday, August 08, 2004
Pook #39 - Structure of Worlds
For five years, even in my absence, I have been attacked for looking for yourself for structure in the world.
When you were young, your parents and friends gave you structure of the world. You knew your role of going to school, of escorting a girl to the prom, doing your chores, doing your work, and so on. After school, you are cast out into the world. What structure should you have?
Obviously, 98% of the males and probably 99.5% of the females look for an external voice for structure. Females follow their mother. If they have no maternal figure in their lives, they adopt what society (media) tell them.
This site deals primarily with young males. Almost always, these males hear an external voice (women) and adopt a female structure.
How do you measure yourself? This is the 'Great Question'.
Nice Guys measure themselves based on their degree of chivalry. "I am so nice to her!" they take as pride. They wish only to be nicer to women then they actually are!
Materialists measure their masculinity based on their paycheck. "Look at me!" says the salesman, working god-awful shifts. "I am making so much money!" If someone is making less money then they are, they are an idiot. If someone is making more money then they are, then they are to be treated as a demi-god.
Citizen Dildos (my name) for the Seducer/ Player types measure their masculinity based on how many girls they can sleep with. They demand 'proof' and 'reports' of "conquests" from everyone.
Shining Stars are the type of people who want to be socially superior to others. These type of people start off in life as tattletalers. But they nevertheless end up going into journalism, law, running for political office, not because they want to but because they measure themselves based on how other people see them. These people have some fame but nothing lasting. Many irrelevant rockstars, actors, and artists fit in this condition. They become, at best, a Ben Jonson, but never a Shakespeare. Their success is short-lived. They also become famous because they fall, as shining stars are meant to do.
Gentlemen, what do all four of these have in common? They are structures built around women.
In a woman's life, she will go through all four of these types, as all four types serve her purposes. The Nice Guy is easily exploited (by her and rest of society). Materialists give her the gifts and things she thinks she 'needs'. Shining Stars give her the illusion of success (why get a doctorate when you can just marry a professor?) And Citizen Dildos are the mutual masturbation as she goes through these guys.
All these guys profess they are happy, that they are the ONLY ones living the 'true' life and ALL others are living a life of shame. They are happy but not joyful. Their happiness is that of an addiction, the addiction is to feminine praise. When it is not there, these males become depressed. The four 'structures' are simply means of getting feminine praise, in some form or another.
I have been through all four of these structures. Each one gave me pain and pleasure. The pleasure, of course, was pleasing women. I switched from one structure to another when I realized it would gain more feminine praise.
People say the objective is sex. Then explain to me why the never-laid Nice Guy will not a) visit a prostitute b) sleep with easy girls c) Etcetera. The objective is not sex, it is feminine praise. Those addicted to it will be so endorphinized to see their lives slouch towards mediocrity.
I trace the beginnings of female-centered life structures with Rousseau, who laid the eventual eggs that hatched matria-lineage and matriarchy. Today, it is blind to us because most of us have never been told anything different.
My posts and ideas came not just from everyday observations but from the long line of history, religion, and literature that binds us all. It comes from famous biographies, from chats with very successful people you don't know (and some you do), and from looking at the failures in others.
What is failure? All four personalities differ on it. But I would define failure as betraying your soul, as living someone else's dream, and having no direction in life.
What is success? It is love. Not love for chivalrous relationship (Nice Guy), not love for pu$$y (Citizen Dildo), not love for money (Materialist), and not love for glory (Shining Star). It is the genuine love for life. Find what you love and direct your passions to it. You will know you have found the right mate not because you two love the same hobbies, but because you both love the direction you (and she) are going in life.
If you want to live your life working for money, or being nice to women, or working for pu$$y, or being praised by society, then don't be afraid to go ahead. All life is an experiment. I could be wrong. But I am not wrong about myself. I hope you do not choose a path that is wrong for you and your soul. When it is wrong, you will know. Imagine how Jesus would feel if he was cast to play the role of Napoleon. The result is the divided soul which is a classical subject in many works, most chiefly Hamlet (a good natured artistic youth cast in the role of savage revenge by the father? How many families want their offspring to play a role they are not suited for?)
What if we make our own structure, completely independent of feminine praise? What if we follow OUR dreams instead of women's dreams? What if the truly smart were not those who read lots of books but those who could read their own heart and soul?
Five years I have been off and on this forum. Five years, the same dull dreary mug-wump sayings have been cast at me. I could copy and paste what was talked about me five years ago as it will match the same as today. What are my 'themes' that cause the same old sayings (and when misplaced, its praises)?
You are the focus of your world. Not the women. Instead of pissing away your youth trying to 'please' women, why not invest that time in yourself? Such a radical concept! How dare I speak blasphemy to our Female Goddesses the youth sacrifice their lives to.
Sex does not make you unique. Another radical concept! Because sex is what women have recognized to give often as 'feminine praise'. How many men think they are the glory of the world because of sex?
Live the life YOU want.
Materialist- If a man spends his life in a soul destroying job, he is held up as a model for society.
Nice Guy- A man discovers 'great love' and throws himself at the girl, putting her on the pedestal, he kneeling, as she becomes his new goddess.
Shining Star- Wants to enchant the gossipers, be it newspapers, television or radio shows, and whatever else. They want loud titles to hide that they are not truely men, no matter their scripted appearances.
Citizen Dildo- A life full of notches on the bedpost. But then what?
All four are addictive because they flood your body with stimulants. What is a Nice Guy's addiction of 'love' but a stimulant? Why don't you just get a needle and jab it in your arm, at least it won't be absurd.
Since I am not on the typical scale of Nice Guy or Seducer, everyone wants me to act 'fully' as one or the other. But I'm neither. Most websites can be categorized into the four. This site flaps like a flag caught in harsh winds, not deciding which way fully to go, but wants to keep leaning to the Citizen Dildo. The websites that speak of a different alternative are few, just as few as the men that do it.
Since I already have hundreds of pages of posts here, I have found a site that might help elaborate on this viewpoint further. Every post he makes is one I could have made, almost spot on.
http://mirrorofthesoul.blogspot.com/ (note: his tone puts off many people. Also, some ideas he has are a bit too isolationsist. But his heart is in the right place: live your life instead of living for women.)
Sexuality is rapidly becoming a political and cultural problem, as strange as that may be. Single women are increasing, birth rates are plunging, more people are becoming infertile, which causes secondary reactions (immigration becomes more pronounced, elderly social programs become threatened, governments spend money on marriage promotion and baby promotion).
A storm is raging through our age. Too many guys are concerned about not getting wet (simply getting laid, finding a decent girl to marry, etc.) and not getting out of the way of this howling juggernaut that is already destroying nations, cultures, and family lines (of the bigger issues, such as matriarchy, plunging birth rates, etc).
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4112450.stm
I wish you guys well. Just remember: you do not dodge a juggernaut by throwing yourself in front of it.
Previous Pook Index Next
When you were young, your parents and friends gave you structure of the world. You knew your role of going to school, of escorting a girl to the prom, doing your chores, doing your work, and so on. After school, you are cast out into the world. What structure should you have?
Obviously, 98% of the males and probably 99.5% of the females look for an external voice for structure. Females follow their mother. If they have no maternal figure in their lives, they adopt what society (media) tell them.
This site deals primarily with young males. Almost always, these males hear an external voice (women) and adopt a female structure.
How do you measure yourself? This is the 'Great Question'.
Nice Guys measure themselves based on their degree of chivalry. "I am so nice to her!" they take as pride. They wish only to be nicer to women then they actually are!
Materialists measure their masculinity based on their paycheck. "Look at me!" says the salesman, working god-awful shifts. "I am making so much money!" If someone is making less money then they are, they are an idiot. If someone is making more money then they are, then they are to be treated as a demi-god.
Citizen Dildos (my name) for the Seducer/ Player types measure their masculinity based on how many girls they can sleep with. They demand 'proof' and 'reports' of "conquests" from everyone.
Shining Stars are the type of people who want to be socially superior to others. These type of people start off in life as tattletalers. But they nevertheless end up going into journalism, law, running for political office, not because they want to but because they measure themselves based on how other people see them. These people have some fame but nothing lasting. Many irrelevant rockstars, actors, and artists fit in this condition. They become, at best, a Ben Jonson, but never a Shakespeare. Their success is short-lived. They also become famous because they fall, as shining stars are meant to do.
Gentlemen, what do all four of these have in common? They are structures built around women.
In a woman's life, she will go through all four of these types, as all four types serve her purposes. The Nice Guy is easily exploited (by her and rest of society). Materialists give her the gifts and things she thinks she 'needs'. Shining Stars give her the illusion of success (why get a doctorate when you can just marry a professor?) And Citizen Dildos are the mutual masturbation as she goes through these guys.
All these guys profess they are happy, that they are the ONLY ones living the 'true' life and ALL others are living a life of shame. They are happy but not joyful. Their happiness is that of an addiction, the addiction is to feminine praise. When it is not there, these males become depressed. The four 'structures' are simply means of getting feminine praise, in some form or another.
I have been through all four of these structures. Each one gave me pain and pleasure. The pleasure, of course, was pleasing women. I switched from one structure to another when I realized it would gain more feminine praise.
People say the objective is sex. Then explain to me why the never-laid Nice Guy will not a) visit a prostitute b) sleep with easy girls c) Etcetera. The objective is not sex, it is feminine praise. Those addicted to it will be so endorphinized to see their lives slouch towards mediocrity.
I trace the beginnings of female-centered life structures with Rousseau, who laid the eventual eggs that hatched matria-lineage and matriarchy. Today, it is blind to us because most of us have never been told anything different.
My posts and ideas came not just from everyday observations but from the long line of history, religion, and literature that binds us all. It comes from famous biographies, from chats with very successful people you don't know (and some you do), and from looking at the failures in others.
What is failure? All four personalities differ on it. But I would define failure as betraying your soul, as living someone else's dream, and having no direction in life.
What is success? It is love. Not love for chivalrous relationship (Nice Guy), not love for pu$$y (Citizen Dildo), not love for money (Materialist), and not love for glory (Shining Star). It is the genuine love for life. Find what you love and direct your passions to it. You will know you have found the right mate not because you two love the same hobbies, but because you both love the direction you (and she) are going in life.
If you want to live your life working for money, or being nice to women, or working for pu$$y, or being praised by society, then don't be afraid to go ahead. All life is an experiment. I could be wrong. But I am not wrong about myself. I hope you do not choose a path that is wrong for you and your soul. When it is wrong, you will know. Imagine how Jesus would feel if he was cast to play the role of Napoleon. The result is the divided soul which is a classical subject in many works, most chiefly Hamlet (a good natured artistic youth cast in the role of savage revenge by the father? How many families want their offspring to play a role they are not suited for?)
What if we make our own structure, completely independent of feminine praise? What if we follow OUR dreams instead of women's dreams? What if the truly smart were not those who read lots of books but those who could read their own heart and soul?
Five years I have been off and on this forum. Five years, the same dull dreary mug-wump sayings have been cast at me. I could copy and paste what was talked about me five years ago as it will match the same as today. What are my 'themes' that cause the same old sayings (and when misplaced, its praises)?
You are the focus of your world. Not the women. Instead of pissing away your youth trying to 'please' women, why not invest that time in yourself? Such a radical concept! How dare I speak blasphemy to our Female Goddesses the youth sacrifice their lives to.
Sex does not make you unique. Another radical concept! Because sex is what women have recognized to give often as 'feminine praise'. How many men think they are the glory of the world because of sex?
Live the life YOU want.
Materialist- If a man spends his life in a soul destroying job, he is held up as a model for society.
Nice Guy- A man discovers 'great love' and throws himself at the girl, putting her on the pedestal, he kneeling, as she becomes his new goddess.
Shining Star- Wants to enchant the gossipers, be it newspapers, television or radio shows, and whatever else. They want loud titles to hide that they are not truely men, no matter their scripted appearances.
Citizen Dildo- A life full of notches on the bedpost. But then what?
All four are addictive because they flood your body with stimulants. What is a Nice Guy's addiction of 'love' but a stimulant? Why don't you just get a needle and jab it in your arm, at least it won't be absurd.
Since I am not on the typical scale of Nice Guy or Seducer, everyone wants me to act 'fully' as one or the other. But I'm neither. Most websites can be categorized into the four. This site flaps like a flag caught in harsh winds, not deciding which way fully to go, but wants to keep leaning to the Citizen Dildo. The websites that speak of a different alternative are few, just as few as the men that do it.
Since I already have hundreds of pages of posts here, I have found a site that might help elaborate on this viewpoint further. Every post he makes is one I could have made, almost spot on.
http://mirrorofthesoul.blogspot.com/ (note: his tone puts off many people. Also, some ideas he has are a bit too isolationsist. But his heart is in the right place: live your life instead of living for women.)
Sexuality is rapidly becoming a political and cultural problem, as strange as that may be. Single women are increasing, birth rates are plunging, more people are becoming infertile, which causes secondary reactions (immigration becomes more pronounced, elderly social programs become threatened, governments spend money on marriage promotion and baby promotion).
A storm is raging through our age. Too many guys are concerned about not getting wet (simply getting laid, finding a decent girl to marry, etc.) and not getting out of the way of this howling juggernaut that is already destroying nations, cultures, and family lines (of the bigger issues, such as matriarchy, plunging birth rates, etc).
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4112450.stm
I wish you guys well. Just remember: you do not dodge a juggernaut by throwing yourself in front of it.
Previous Pook Index Next
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Pook #38 - Casual Dating
Why, look at this! We have received a letter from the ladies:
Dear Sosuave Youth,
Before we, shall we say, get down to business, we have some things to say:
Casual dating is OK.
Asking a girl for her number is OK.
Random hookups are not ideal.
Sitting in your room and pretending to be content with your love life, or lack thereof, is not cool.
This letter is meant to revive casual dating with you young males — a practice that used to be followed by most, yet one that is strangely absent today. Casual dating does not mean commitment. It will not limit your freedom. It will not interfere with the pursuit of life and joy, two of which we hold as one.
From my experiences, your relationships fall into two categories: random hookups or virtual marriage. Either two people stay together for a few hours and pretend like nothing happened between them the next day, or they become attached at the hip from their first date and become oblivious to the rest of the world.
The problem with these two extremes is that most of us want something in the middle. But boys, you can do something about that. And I will tell you how . . .
1. Get girls’ phone numbers. If you’re attracted to a girl, getting her number can’t hurt. It will keep your options open in the case that you decide that you may be ready to go on an actual date in your young age. Although this is a rare occurrence, it does happen. Getting a girl’s number can be avoided if you think that you could invite her out personally, which is ideal, as phone conversations have the possibility of being somewhat awkward.
2. Hang out with your girl of interest during non-class, non-dorm-activity time, non-job environment. Invite her over for dinner at your house or dining hall or for some coffee, or [for the gutsier guys] dinner at a restaurant. This is your chance to get to know your girl.
Dates are fun! Even if there is no chemistry or not a lot to talk about, getting together puts you out there. It makes us feel like normal young people who do the normal dating things. The first “date” will give you a much better idea as to whether or not the girl is worth your time.
3. If the date was less than ideal, don’t be aloof when you see the girl again. If your date made you realize that this girl probably isn’t for you, it’s probably (hopefully) a mutual thing. Chemistry and awkwardness are usually felt both ways. But, don’t pretend like it never happened. You guys can still act civilly toward each other. Being friends is totally okay.
If the date went well, don’t smother the girl. It’s definitely nice to give her a call a few days after your date, but don’t act like the two of you married! One date, or even a few dates, does not mean life-long commitment. The goal here is casual dating — hanging out on an occasional basis and having fun.
Although dating may lead to a relationship, it doesn’t have to. Understandably, people at this school don’t always have the time or desire for a significant other. But many of us want to hang out on an individual basis with members of the opposite sex that we like. And we aren’t necessarily happy with the predominant means of doing that — party hookups. Casual dating is the perfect, middle-of-the-road solution to this problem.
I know that asking a girl for her number or out to coffee or dinner can be hard, but it needs to be done. We ladies aren’t mean! We try to encourage proactive behavior.
Although rejection is always a possibility, the alternative is just too attractive and too necessary to pass up. Do you really want to go through your prime years of your youth — without some form of dating?
I should hope not.
This was an actual letter from a lady written to all the men. It appeared in the Stanford University paper.
This post isn’t for the guys already comfortable going out there. This is for the shy, the homebodies, the ones on the Internet every night.
You want a girlfriend badly. It seemed like two choices: the hook-ups you find at parties or clubs or the ‘virtual marriage’ of a ‘long term relationship’.
The flaws of the ‘joined at the hip’ virtual marriage the ladies described are many. It keeps you from meeting other people. And it is just a clinginess of each other, of two people tired of being ‘single’. You can be successful at this with marriage and everything, but even that may result in failure. Anti-Dump started out this way, married a girl, but divorce shattered him as he realized the girl never really liked him in the first place. He kept trying to please her rather than find a girl that fits him.
Now we come to the other option. The ‘party hook-ups’ and ‘clubs’ sound like great fun and easy sex but these probably don’t fit your personality. Besides, these girls will care nothing for you and won’t care if you drop dead the next day. And the sex? To these people, it becomes a theatrical act. It is mutual masturbation. It is not fulfilling.
Also, consider that perhaps one day you will be married. When you are married, what do you like to do? Why, you go out. All the practice and skills you pick up with casual dating can be carried over to your marriage, your ‘pick up skills’ cannot.
Casual dating has the best of the two extremes of random hook ups and ‘virtual marriage’. The possibility of sex is there… but it definitely won’t be a girl who will toss you aside the next day. The connection of ‘virtual marriage’ is there… but it isn’t as binding to keep you from meeting new people. Plus, casual dating gets you to find the girl that likes what you like, which random hook ups and virtual marriage do not allow.
Besides, casual dating is fun! When I was shy and locked up in my room, I always wondered, “What ought I to do?” Well, the answer is anything! Usually start off with something small, like dinner or a drink where you can get to know her and see if she is worth your time. But literally, anything is at your disposal. Planning dates is fun as you get to pick what YOU want to do. Want to go browse museums and have a nice dinner afterward? Want to go rock climbing and rafting afterwards? A friend of mine, when he finds a girl he thinks is special to him, will even get out specific types of wine. This may sound sappy but it isn’t, and girls love it. It’s fun to plan out what YOU want to do, and girls like to go along for the adventure.
So as you are bombarded by all this ‘information’, do this:
Forget about Pook. Forget about Sosuave. Forget about the DJ Bible. Forget about tips and discussions, women ‘psychology’ and specific techniques.
Go ask the number for that girl you have been eyeing. Do anything you’d like, from a simple dinner to event. If she likes you, she won’t care!
Forget this webpage with all its wordy text. People who stay here all day are trying to get it PERFECT, and you know what? Perfect is boring. Shake things up in your life. It won’t matter if you know what to do for the 2nd or 3rd date, most people don’t. Do it one at a time.
Go change your life, not by reading my posts, or studying the forum, but by doing what you always wanted to do: to go out with that lovely young lady. Start small, and ask out a girl that you really like.
Once you get a date or two under your belt, you’ll wonder why you wasted so much time on article reading in the first place.
And welcome. Life awaits.
Previous Pook Index Next
Dear Sosuave Youth,
Before we, shall we say, get down to business, we have some things to say:
Casual dating is OK.
Asking a girl for her number is OK.
Random hookups are not ideal.
Sitting in your room and pretending to be content with your love life, or lack thereof, is not cool.
This letter is meant to revive casual dating with you young males — a practice that used to be followed by most, yet one that is strangely absent today. Casual dating does not mean commitment. It will not limit your freedom. It will not interfere with the pursuit of life and joy, two of which we hold as one.
From my experiences, your relationships fall into two categories: random hookups or virtual marriage. Either two people stay together for a few hours and pretend like nothing happened between them the next day, or they become attached at the hip from their first date and become oblivious to the rest of the world.
The problem with these two extremes is that most of us want something in the middle. But boys, you can do something about that. And I will tell you how . . .
1. Get girls’ phone numbers. If you’re attracted to a girl, getting her number can’t hurt. It will keep your options open in the case that you decide that you may be ready to go on an actual date in your young age. Although this is a rare occurrence, it does happen. Getting a girl’s number can be avoided if you think that you could invite her out personally, which is ideal, as phone conversations have the possibility of being somewhat awkward.
2. Hang out with your girl of interest during non-class, non-dorm-activity time, non-job environment. Invite her over for dinner at your house or dining hall or for some coffee, or [for the gutsier guys] dinner at a restaurant. This is your chance to get to know your girl.
Dates are fun! Even if there is no chemistry or not a lot to talk about, getting together puts you out there. It makes us feel like normal young people who do the normal dating things. The first “date” will give you a much better idea as to whether or not the girl is worth your time.
3. If the date was less than ideal, don’t be aloof when you see the girl again. If your date made you realize that this girl probably isn’t for you, it’s probably (hopefully) a mutual thing. Chemistry and awkwardness are usually felt both ways. But, don’t pretend like it never happened. You guys can still act civilly toward each other. Being friends is totally okay.
If the date went well, don’t smother the girl. It’s definitely nice to give her a call a few days after your date, but don’t act like the two of you married! One date, or even a few dates, does not mean life-long commitment. The goal here is casual dating — hanging out on an occasional basis and having fun.
Although dating may lead to a relationship, it doesn’t have to. Understandably, people at this school don’t always have the time or desire for a significant other. But many of us want to hang out on an individual basis with members of the opposite sex that we like. And we aren’t necessarily happy with the predominant means of doing that — party hookups. Casual dating is the perfect, middle-of-the-road solution to this problem.
I know that asking a girl for her number or out to coffee or dinner can be hard, but it needs to be done. We ladies aren’t mean! We try to encourage proactive behavior.
Although rejection is always a possibility, the alternative is just too attractive and too necessary to pass up. Do you really want to go through your prime years of your youth — without some form of dating?
I should hope not.
This was an actual letter from a lady written to all the men. It appeared in the Stanford University paper.
This post isn’t for the guys already comfortable going out there. This is for the shy, the homebodies, the ones on the Internet every night.
You want a girlfriend badly. It seemed like two choices: the hook-ups you find at parties or clubs or the ‘virtual marriage’ of a ‘long term relationship’.
The flaws of the ‘joined at the hip’ virtual marriage the ladies described are many. It keeps you from meeting other people. And it is just a clinginess of each other, of two people tired of being ‘single’. You can be successful at this with marriage and everything, but even that may result in failure. Anti-Dump started out this way, married a girl, but divorce shattered him as he realized the girl never really liked him in the first place. He kept trying to please her rather than find a girl that fits him.
Now we come to the other option. The ‘party hook-ups’ and ‘clubs’ sound like great fun and easy sex but these probably don’t fit your personality. Besides, these girls will care nothing for you and won’t care if you drop dead the next day. And the sex? To these people, it becomes a theatrical act. It is mutual masturbation. It is not fulfilling.
Also, consider that perhaps one day you will be married. When you are married, what do you like to do? Why, you go out. All the practice and skills you pick up with casual dating can be carried over to your marriage, your ‘pick up skills’ cannot.
Casual dating has the best of the two extremes of random hook ups and ‘virtual marriage’. The possibility of sex is there… but it definitely won’t be a girl who will toss you aside the next day. The connection of ‘virtual marriage’ is there… but it isn’t as binding to keep you from meeting new people. Plus, casual dating gets you to find the girl that likes what you like, which random hook ups and virtual marriage do not allow.
Besides, casual dating is fun! When I was shy and locked up in my room, I always wondered, “What ought I to do?” Well, the answer is anything! Usually start off with something small, like dinner or a drink where you can get to know her and see if she is worth your time. But literally, anything is at your disposal. Planning dates is fun as you get to pick what YOU want to do. Want to go browse museums and have a nice dinner afterward? Want to go rock climbing and rafting afterwards? A friend of mine, when he finds a girl he thinks is special to him, will even get out specific types of wine. This may sound sappy but it isn’t, and girls love it. It’s fun to plan out what YOU want to do, and girls like to go along for the adventure.
So as you are bombarded by all this ‘information’, do this:
Forget about Pook. Forget about Sosuave. Forget about the DJ Bible. Forget about tips and discussions, women ‘psychology’ and specific techniques.
Go ask the number for that girl you have been eyeing. Do anything you’d like, from a simple dinner to event. If she likes you, she won’t care!
Forget this webpage with all its wordy text. People who stay here all day are trying to get it PERFECT, and you know what? Perfect is boring. Shake things up in your life. It won’t matter if you know what to do for the 2nd or 3rd date, most people don’t. Do it one at a time.
Go change your life, not by reading my posts, or studying the forum, but by doing what you always wanted to do: to go out with that lovely young lady. Start small, and ask out a girl that you really like.
Once you get a date or two under your belt, you’ll wonder why you wasted so much time on article reading in the first place.
And welcome. Life awaits.
Previous Pook Index Next
Friday, August 06, 2004
Pook #37 - Be a Man!
There is a prize to the person who correctly answers this question, What is a Man? When asked what they want in a guy, women say simply, "A MAN!" But, alas!, real men are becoming more and more rare these days. Women are tired of the sensative wimps who have no backbones. One women even wrote a song about the subject, "Where have all the cowboys gone?"
So what is a Man? How should he act? Decades and centuries ago, the question was nonsense. But today in our feminized culture (this may be more in America then in other countries), most of us have been raised to believe that there is something inherently wrong with being a man and acting the way how a man should act. No wonder males don't know how to act around women! No wonder websites like these exist!
Indeed, I embarked on this mystery to find out the answer to this question. Several women were bunched up in a group, gossiping and yapping about cute boys, fashion, relationships i.e. nothing. This behavior extends to all women of all cultures (and also different animal species. Cows group together and moo and gnaw on grass and take notice of bulls brave enough to approach the group).
I approach. "How are you, ladies!! I am the Pook."
A woman squeals. "Oh! It's a Pook!" The others squeal in unison.
Once the ladies calm themselves after being in the presence of a Pook, I ask them, "Ladies! Do tell me, what do you define as a Man?"
With devilish tongues, the women answer:
"A Man is someone sensative to me."
"A Man is the guy who will take care of my needs."
"A Man is the one that is in tune with my feelings."
"A Man is one who doesn't have an ego."
"A Man is the guy who will sit and watch chick flicks all day with me."
"A Man is the guy who will go shopping with me."
"A Man is the guy who will share all his feelings with me."
Such are the common answers! The males listen and actualize what the women say. They are constantly declared 'sweet' and 'wonderful' and 'nice', oh 'so nice'. Mothers and older women are proud of them and tell them, "If I were younger, I would go for you!"
Poor Nice Guy! The women his own age avoid him like the plague and jump for the jerks. The Nice Guy becomes an emotional tampon to be used and discarded. The Nice Guy, being so nice and sweet, listens to the woman vomit her feelings about men and bleed her problems of her boyfriend on him. He listens with baited hope when he hears, "Oh, why can't guys be like you! You listen and understand." Then she turns around and gets abused by another jerk! The vicious cycle repeats again and again.
Why are women acting in this way?
They are simply acting as women do, as in their nature. The problem is not with them, it is with guys. We are afraid to embrace OUR nature, that of being a Man. Being in a culture that sees Manhood as predatory and oppressive and uncouth, we cover it up within ourselves. By doing so, we hide our sexuality. (Sexuality! Do I mean rock hard abs and rippling muscles? That is not what women find sexy [it's a contributing factor, not the core]. A type of PERSONALITY is what women are looking for. Someone they can depend on [has backbone], someone who will be successful [has ambition], and someone who is decisive [has charge]. Nice guys have no backbone because they think women are frail things that will break in confrontation; nice guys reveal no ambition because they fear being seen as arrogant to women; nice guys are afraid to be decisive for fear of being seen as 'oppressive'.)
Two poles of thought men drift into: the Nice Guy and the Jerk. Both blame the other.
"You ruin the women with your lack of commitment and unappreciative nature," says the Nice Guy.
"You spoil the women with your endless listening ear and stupid caring attitude," replies the Jerk.
The two endlessly war. Those on the sidelines have their own conclusions. One side says, "The Jerk is the way to go. Ceaseless sex! Evolution demands it." The other side says, "The Nice Guy is the way to go. Glorious relationship! Society demands it."
But the two still argue.
"You cause the women to think they are in control," says the Jerk.
"Ahh, but you cause the women to think all men are scum," replies the Nice Guy.
Is there not an end to the Nice Guy vs.Jerk debate? Are these the only choices?
The Cycle
The Nice Guy emerges. He is tenderized and wants to shout in every woman's ear "I will not abuse you. I am sweet and good. Based on that alone you should date me." When the Nice Guy talks to the girl on a date, *poof*, the date turns into Oprah. "Oh, my life has been SO downhill from here," the Nice Guy whines. "My little girly car was slashed, I failed my classes, but because of you this day has been so much better." Then the Nice Guy goes, "Let me tell you my life story. My birth was long, hard, and painful for my mother..." Our culture has become so feminized that the Nice Guy thinks it is proper to vomit his feelings and emotions all over the place. (It's gross!) Women, rightfully, run for the hills when they hear your declarations of love.
The Metamorphosis comes. The Nice Guy eventually realizes what all the ladies want, becomes bitter, and changes himself into a Jerk. His goal now is to sleep with as many women as possible and figure out all the tricks and tactics to do so. He focuses on calculation rather then natural joy. When a woman comes, he pulls out a chart of all the 'moves' and 'tactics' with arrows and patterns. He unleashes his lap top, accesses a Lay Guide, and reviews his strategy. Time passes and once was fun becomes meaningless.
Back to being nice. He sees it now as turning on Nice Guy or turning on Jerk. "Why can't I just be myself!?" he soon thunders at Reality.
Just be a Man! There is no need to reprogram yourself. You will have the interests you have, the hobbies you have, the body you have, but you can easily become a MAN. It is all simply in the way how you think and as you think you shall become. But what is Man? Shall we have the answer? Here it is:
A Man is a guy who is not scared of his testosterone!
A Man follows the passion in his life. Passion of women? Of course not. A Man has goals and desires that goes above that of chasing chicks. After childhood, there are TRUE winners and losers in life. A Man desires to be the winner. A Man WANTS to win in what he does. Because of his passion, a Man can sometimes come off as arrogant and egotistical. He does not apologize for this or for his desires.
"It is your actions that cause the disgrace of Men," says the Nice Guy.
"It is yours," replies the Jerk.
No, gentlemen, the disgrace of men is in not embracing your true nature: following your passion and, thus, loving life. Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't SPEND your time chasing girls, INVEST it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.
When you do this, all of a sudden you have what every woman wants: Ambition, charge, decisiveness, backbone, kindness, stableness, and confidence.
I want you to read what a women posted as what SHE thought was a great guy. (Focus on what I put in BOLD)
QUOTE: "Qualifications" of a great guy" 1)Physical
A bit athletic so he's in shape and a good complexion(If he can help it). Very focused, intelligent eyes which pay attention to whoever deserves it. Hair that can be tossled...and a relaxed, but tidy wardrobe.
2)Emotional
His attitude has gotta be mostly deterministic and level-headed. If crappy stuff happens to him...he should roll with the punches and learn from it. If he ends up doing crappy stuff then he should get up, brush off and be a better guy the next time round.
-He must also have deep convictions: he should NEVER give up his ideals or morals for anything.
-I know it sounds cheezy, but he must be respectful to his mother(it reflects character)...even if she is witchy like some moms these days.
-And of course:sense of humor, artistic, and an awesome boyfriend.
3)Social
A great guy is the one who offers the girls a chair, opens doors etc.(But isn't a total flirt--he just considers it his duty.)
-A guy should clean up his language around girls.
-He should stand up for people who are being bashed in conversations. That's important to us girls b/c back-stabbing is common among us--and we REALLY notice when somebody isn't a gossip.
-Aaaand my personal thing is that he should be the guy who "could" be the center of attention...but he prefers to hang out with the few guys in the back who are his genuine friends.
Phew...I hope this helped a bit. Physique: as long as it's within the usual bounds is pretty much unimportant.
If you want to get a really great girl...start working on your character and self-control--(not b/c it's you, but b/c those two things are REALLY uncommon these days)--because a great girl is one who's been working on that already and she'll recognize it in you.
A Man has character and deep convictions. He has PASSION in life about something. It is this passion that transforms his life, gives him confidence, and gives him joy. It is this PASSION that will give you that right mindset for you have goals and dreams that go beyond chicks.
Remember, if you cannot command respect, you cannot attract love. If you cannot be respected, women will ignore you and/or abuse you.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was scrawny, cried easily, and was a total wuss. At the age of ten, his father looked down at him disapprovingly. "You are such a wimp!" he scolded at his son. The boy cried but eventually discovered what was wrong with him. He worked out, studied, and utilized himself. He went around the world in the most ferocious quests. He became strong and powerful. He entered politics and became an unstoppable force. He would be shot when giving a speech, but he would pull himself back up to continue the speech!
He was President Teddy Roosevelt, one of the more significant characters in America. If that little wimpy boy could become such a character, anyone can be a Man.
What do guys today do? We try to hide our strength and express our 'femininity'. Take an example of guys: early on in a relationship, they will show how 'great' they are by cooking for the woman!
As Anti-Dump said:
QUOTE: Real men are not available. They are climbing mountains. They are swimming across rivers. What are YOU doing? Making spagetti?!?!?!
A Man,
-Does not go through life walking on eggshells.
Nice Guys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" Good guys think, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?" The Good guy doesn't think about the girl's interest until they're dating. The Good guy looks at all the girls and TAKES what he wants.
-Focuses on his dreams.
No, this does not include the chick. You must have passion for something in life, something you even want to do for the rest of your life. Your romantic life is an echo of your regular life.
-Does not apologize for his testosterone, for his desires.
"Oh, I am so sorry, ladies! I am afflicted with this disease known as M.A.L.E. It is natural for me to glance at you, your oh so curvaceous body. I am soooo sorry. Please, please FORGIVE ME!"
Would a WOMAN apologize for her feminine acts? So why should YOU apologize for your masculinity?
-Tries to always win in what he does. (After childhood, there are real winners and losers in life.)
Men build towers; women build webs. If you aren't constructing your tower or aren't even planning it, why should she cast her web at you? If you want worthy chicks, you, yourself, must strive to become worthy.
-Has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader.
This is crucial because one day you will become the leader of your own household. Yes, we talk of 50/50, of everything being equal, but Nature's laws surpass that of Humans. Women naturally submit and nurture, Men naturally lead and provide.
If you were a woman, would YOU want a Nice Guy in charge of your household? Or would you want A MAN?
-Seeks to solve problems then to place blame.
If there is a problem, you solve it. You do not go, "Oh, BOO HOO! This was because of HIM." A woman naturally wants a guy who deals with problems, not pass them along. (Would you want that in your woman? Of course not!)
-Sees failure as only a temporary set-back to the inevitable.
Statistically, you're more likely to be REJECTED then to be ACCEPTED. So how do you become more and more accepted and have lots of girls? It is when you increase your trying so much that the acception rate satisfies you and you don't notice the rejections.
Napoleon Hill's book interviewing extremely successful people, these men of destiny did not let failure destroy them. Indeed, Napoleon concludes that Destiny puts out these trials and failures to TEST the men if they are proper and FIT for their role in shaping history.
-Knows where he is going in Life.
True seduction isn't calculation or painful discipline, it is the same as with everything that makes a success: A Passion for Life.
-Never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul.
Nice Guys HATE bachelorhood. They HATE, HATE, HATE it sooo much. Some even wish for the old days of arranged marriages so they wouldn't have to put up with all the games.
Jerks LOVE bachelorhood so much they can't see anything else in life. While women love guys that can get women, jerks offer nothing worthwile long term wise.
Alas, the women always try to change the Jerk but never the Nice Guy. Why? Because a Man is STRENGTH and a Jerk displays strength on some level. Nice Guys never do.
-Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone.
Flowers, candy, poetry all can be good additions to a relationship, but so many nice guys use them to BUY the relationship as if they must prove themselves. They flood with the poor woman with gifts to show they mean it.
So away with the flowers, those dead plants as tokens of affection. Away with the choclate, the candy, and sweets, those sugary pursuits to purchase love. Away with the poety, those rotten verses of declarations of love. Away with the quest to prove YOURSELF and let her prove HERSELF to you for YOU are the Don Juan.
Be a Man! And with it, you will advance in your career, your social life, and even your dealings with women. Men are very rare these days so if you become one, you will be in HIGH demand. Your career will become better as people look at you as a leader. Life will re-develop before your eyes for you will obtain the most single quality that men, not trophy husbands, not nice guys, not tactiful players, but men have a monopoly on: Respect.
YOU are the MAN! For if you don't STAND for something, you shall FALL for everything!
Previous Pook Index Next
So what is a Man? How should he act? Decades and centuries ago, the question was nonsense. But today in our feminized culture (this may be more in America then in other countries), most of us have been raised to believe that there is something inherently wrong with being a man and acting the way how a man should act. No wonder males don't know how to act around women! No wonder websites like these exist!
Indeed, I embarked on this mystery to find out the answer to this question. Several women were bunched up in a group, gossiping and yapping about cute boys, fashion, relationships i.e. nothing. This behavior extends to all women of all cultures (and also different animal species. Cows group together and moo and gnaw on grass and take notice of bulls brave enough to approach the group).
I approach. "How are you, ladies!! I am the Pook."
A woman squeals. "Oh! It's a Pook!" The others squeal in unison.
Once the ladies calm themselves after being in the presence of a Pook, I ask them, "Ladies! Do tell me, what do you define as a Man?"
With devilish tongues, the women answer:
"A Man is someone sensative to me."
"A Man is the guy who will take care of my needs."
"A Man is the one that is in tune with my feelings."
"A Man is one who doesn't have an ego."
"A Man is the guy who will sit and watch chick flicks all day with me."
"A Man is the guy who will go shopping with me."
"A Man is the guy who will share all his feelings with me."
Such are the common answers! The males listen and actualize what the women say. They are constantly declared 'sweet' and 'wonderful' and 'nice', oh 'so nice'. Mothers and older women are proud of them and tell them, "If I were younger, I would go for you!"
Poor Nice Guy! The women his own age avoid him like the plague and jump for the jerks. The Nice Guy becomes an emotional tampon to be used and discarded. The Nice Guy, being so nice and sweet, listens to the woman vomit her feelings about men and bleed her problems of her boyfriend on him. He listens with baited hope when he hears, "Oh, why can't guys be like you! You listen and understand." Then she turns around and gets abused by another jerk! The vicious cycle repeats again and again.
Why are women acting in this way?
They are simply acting as women do, as in their nature. The problem is not with them, it is with guys. We are afraid to embrace OUR nature, that of being a Man. Being in a culture that sees Manhood as predatory and oppressive and uncouth, we cover it up within ourselves. By doing so, we hide our sexuality. (Sexuality! Do I mean rock hard abs and rippling muscles? That is not what women find sexy [it's a contributing factor, not the core]. A type of PERSONALITY is what women are looking for. Someone they can depend on [has backbone], someone who will be successful [has ambition], and someone who is decisive [has charge]. Nice guys have no backbone because they think women are frail things that will break in confrontation; nice guys reveal no ambition because they fear being seen as arrogant to women; nice guys are afraid to be decisive for fear of being seen as 'oppressive'.)
Two poles of thought men drift into: the Nice Guy and the Jerk. Both blame the other.
"You ruin the women with your lack of commitment and unappreciative nature," says the Nice Guy.
"You spoil the women with your endless listening ear and stupid caring attitude," replies the Jerk.
The two endlessly war. Those on the sidelines have their own conclusions. One side says, "The Jerk is the way to go. Ceaseless sex! Evolution demands it." The other side says, "The Nice Guy is the way to go. Glorious relationship! Society demands it."
But the two still argue.
"You cause the women to think they are in control," says the Jerk.
"Ahh, but you cause the women to think all men are scum," replies the Nice Guy.
Is there not an end to the Nice Guy vs.Jerk debate? Are these the only choices?
The Cycle
The Nice Guy emerges. He is tenderized and wants to shout in every woman's ear "I will not abuse you. I am sweet and good. Based on that alone you should date me." When the Nice Guy talks to the girl on a date, *poof*, the date turns into Oprah. "Oh, my life has been SO downhill from here," the Nice Guy whines. "My little girly car was slashed, I failed my classes, but because of you this day has been so much better." Then the Nice Guy goes, "Let me tell you my life story. My birth was long, hard, and painful for my mother..." Our culture has become so feminized that the Nice Guy thinks it is proper to vomit his feelings and emotions all over the place. (It's gross!) Women, rightfully, run for the hills when they hear your declarations of love.
The Metamorphosis comes. The Nice Guy eventually realizes what all the ladies want, becomes bitter, and changes himself into a Jerk. His goal now is to sleep with as many women as possible and figure out all the tricks and tactics to do so. He focuses on calculation rather then natural joy. When a woman comes, he pulls out a chart of all the 'moves' and 'tactics' with arrows and patterns. He unleashes his lap top, accesses a Lay Guide, and reviews his strategy. Time passes and once was fun becomes meaningless.
Back to being nice. He sees it now as turning on Nice Guy or turning on Jerk. "Why can't I just be myself!?" he soon thunders at Reality.
Just be a Man! There is no need to reprogram yourself. You will have the interests you have, the hobbies you have, the body you have, but you can easily become a MAN. It is all simply in the way how you think and as you think you shall become. But what is Man? Shall we have the answer? Here it is:
A Man is a guy who is not scared of his testosterone!
A Man follows the passion in his life. Passion of women? Of course not. A Man has goals and desires that goes above that of chasing chicks. After childhood, there are TRUE winners and losers in life. A Man desires to be the winner. A Man WANTS to win in what he does. Because of his passion, a Man can sometimes come off as arrogant and egotistical. He does not apologize for this or for his desires.
"It is your actions that cause the disgrace of Men," says the Nice Guy.
"It is yours," replies the Jerk.
No, gentlemen, the disgrace of men is in not embracing your true nature: following your passion and, thus, loving life. Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't SPEND your time chasing girls, INVEST it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.
When you do this, all of a sudden you have what every woman wants: Ambition, charge, decisiveness, backbone, kindness, stableness, and confidence.
I want you to read what a women posted as what SHE thought was a great guy. (Focus on what I put in BOLD)
QUOTE: "Qualifications" of a great guy" 1)Physical
A bit athletic so he's in shape and a good complexion(If he can help it). Very focused, intelligent eyes which pay attention to whoever deserves it. Hair that can be tossled...and a relaxed, but tidy wardrobe.
2)Emotional
His attitude has gotta be mostly deterministic and level-headed. If crappy stuff happens to him...he should roll with the punches and learn from it. If he ends up doing crappy stuff then he should get up, brush off and be a better guy the next time round.
-He must also have deep convictions: he should NEVER give up his ideals or morals for anything.
-I know it sounds cheezy, but he must be respectful to his mother(it reflects character)...even if she is witchy like some moms these days.
-And of course:sense of humor, artistic, and an awesome boyfriend.
3)Social
A great guy is the one who offers the girls a chair, opens doors etc.(But isn't a total flirt--he just considers it his duty.)
-A guy should clean up his language around girls.
-He should stand up for people who are being bashed in conversations. That's important to us girls b/c back-stabbing is common among us--and we REALLY notice when somebody isn't a gossip.
-Aaaand my personal thing is that he should be the guy who "could" be the center of attention...but he prefers to hang out with the few guys in the back who are his genuine friends.
Phew...I hope this helped a bit. Physique: as long as it's within the usual bounds is pretty much unimportant.
If you want to get a really great girl...start working on your character and self-control--(not b/c it's you, but b/c those two things are REALLY uncommon these days)--because a great girl is one who's been working on that already and she'll recognize it in you.
A Man has character and deep convictions. He has PASSION in life about something. It is this passion that transforms his life, gives him confidence, and gives him joy. It is this PASSION that will give you that right mindset for you have goals and dreams that go beyond chicks.
Remember, if you cannot command respect, you cannot attract love. If you cannot be respected, women will ignore you and/or abuse you.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was scrawny, cried easily, and was a total wuss. At the age of ten, his father looked down at him disapprovingly. "You are such a wimp!" he scolded at his son. The boy cried but eventually discovered what was wrong with him. He worked out, studied, and utilized himself. He went around the world in the most ferocious quests. He became strong and powerful. He entered politics and became an unstoppable force. He would be shot when giving a speech, but he would pull himself back up to continue the speech!
He was President Teddy Roosevelt, one of the more significant characters in America. If that little wimpy boy could become such a character, anyone can be a Man.
What do guys today do? We try to hide our strength and express our 'femininity'. Take an example of guys: early on in a relationship, they will show how 'great' they are by cooking for the woman!
As Anti-Dump said:
QUOTE: Real men are not available. They are climbing mountains. They are swimming across rivers. What are YOU doing? Making spagetti?!?!?!
A Man,
-Does not go through life walking on eggshells.
Nice Guys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" Good guys think, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?" The Good guy doesn't think about the girl's interest until they're dating. The Good guy looks at all the girls and TAKES what he wants.
-Focuses on his dreams.
No, this does not include the chick. You must have passion for something in life, something you even want to do for the rest of your life. Your romantic life is an echo of your regular life.
-Does not apologize for his testosterone, for his desires.
"Oh, I am so sorry, ladies! I am afflicted with this disease known as M.A.L.E. It is natural for me to glance at you, your oh so curvaceous body. I am soooo sorry. Please, please FORGIVE ME!"
Would a WOMAN apologize for her feminine acts? So why should YOU apologize for your masculinity?
-Tries to always win in what he does. (After childhood, there are real winners and losers in life.)
Men build towers; women build webs. If you aren't constructing your tower or aren't even planning it, why should she cast her web at you? If you want worthy chicks, you, yourself, must strive to become worthy.
-Has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader.
This is crucial because one day you will become the leader of your own household. Yes, we talk of 50/50, of everything being equal, but Nature's laws surpass that of Humans. Women naturally submit and nurture, Men naturally lead and provide.
If you were a woman, would YOU want a Nice Guy in charge of your household? Or would you want A MAN?
-Seeks to solve problems then to place blame.
If there is a problem, you solve it. You do not go, "Oh, BOO HOO! This was because of HIM." A woman naturally wants a guy who deals with problems, not pass them along. (Would you want that in your woman? Of course not!)
-Sees failure as only a temporary set-back to the inevitable.
Statistically, you're more likely to be REJECTED then to be ACCEPTED. So how do you become more and more accepted and have lots of girls? It is when you increase your trying so much that the acception rate satisfies you and you don't notice the rejections.
Napoleon Hill's book interviewing extremely successful people, these men of destiny did not let failure destroy them. Indeed, Napoleon concludes that Destiny puts out these trials and failures to TEST the men if they are proper and FIT for their role in shaping history.
-Knows where he is going in Life.
True seduction isn't calculation or painful discipline, it is the same as with everything that makes a success: A Passion for Life.
-Never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul.
Nice Guys HATE bachelorhood. They HATE, HATE, HATE it sooo much. Some even wish for the old days of arranged marriages so they wouldn't have to put up with all the games.
Jerks LOVE bachelorhood so much they can't see anything else in life. While women love guys that can get women, jerks offer nothing worthwile long term wise.
Alas, the women always try to change the Jerk but never the Nice Guy. Why? Because a Man is STRENGTH and a Jerk displays strength on some level. Nice Guys never do.
-Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone.
Flowers, candy, poetry all can be good additions to a relationship, but so many nice guys use them to BUY the relationship as if they must prove themselves. They flood with the poor woman with gifts to show they mean it.
So away with the flowers, those dead plants as tokens of affection. Away with the choclate, the candy, and sweets, those sugary pursuits to purchase love. Away with the poety, those rotten verses of declarations of love. Away with the quest to prove YOURSELF and let her prove HERSELF to you for YOU are the Don Juan.
Be a Man! And with it, you will advance in your career, your social life, and even your dealings with women. Men are very rare these days so if you become one, you will be in HIGH demand. Your career will become better as people look at you as a leader. Life will re-develop before your eyes for you will obtain the most single quality that men, not trophy husbands, not nice guys, not tactiful players, but men have a monopoly on: Respect.
YOU are the MAN! For if you don't STAND for something, you shall FALL for everything!
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Thursday, August 05, 2004
Pook #36 - As You Think, You Shall Become
Exactly. It is not putting forth a 'spell' on them or controlling them. It is a matter of controlling yourself.
Your destiny depends on what you think. As you think, you shall become. And so long as you think, so long you remain free.
I hate classifications but this one is needed to carry forth the point:
Nice Guy
This guy is still acting like a chick, like a henid. He is feeling her. He is in the orbit of the hot chick and FEELS so 'mystified' by her. The Nice Guy is boring but he never realizes this, because he feels 'so good' by being around the hot chick. This is why the Nice Guy keeps doing his stupid dinner dates and stays consistently boring.
Player
This guy knows how stupid the Nice Guy way is, and strives to CONTROL the chick. He aims at rapport and 'creating attraction'. He is trying to CREATE FEELINGS in the chick. This has a natural glass ceiling because you cannot be 'creating feelings' forever, especially when it comes to a relationship and can't hide behind mystery and distance any longer. This guy is still at GROUND ZERO. He is not in the negative world of the Nice Guy, but he still hasn't understood the role Nature has. This path leads only to vanity, never love.
Don Juan
The historical Don Juan was a man who led a victorius naval battle. He would later run off and go after the Princess of Aragon (I believe).
The Nice Guy is drunk with his feelings. The Player keeps thinking of CONTROL and POWER over the chick's feelings. The Don Juan gives off feelings, unconsiocusly; he is a sexual light in the world the women flock to.
The Nice Guy mythologizes the woman. He turns her into a goddess.
The Don Juan mythologizes himself. He turns himself into a demi-god.
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE.
The players, seducers, etc. are caught in between. They still don't understand the power of imagination. In fact, they BLAME imagination for them being a Nice Guy. Now, they swear they are going to live only in 'reality'.
----------------------------
People always ridiculed me because I placed so much emphasis on what is going on in your MIND. But that is where the battle is. Start thinking sexual, even if you aren't changing your BEHAVIOR or doing any TACTICS, and women will respond differently. Why? No one, not Ross Jefferies, not ASF, not DeAngelo (a letter commented on this and he was mystified), no one understands it. It is a sixth sense. (No philosophy understands this either. Not Weineger, not the Greek philosophers, no one. The only people who seem to understand it are the poets.)
And with this seed of thought in your mind added with the soil of action, a cascade of reactions will occur. You will slowly change physically, mentally, emotionally, and, dare I say it, spiritually. You are in a new world, a true brave new world where imagination is used properly (not as some entertainment).
And this is how you unite Dream and Day.
Previous Pook Index Next
Your destiny depends on what you think. As you think, you shall become. And so long as you think, so long you remain free.
I hate classifications but this one is needed to carry forth the point:
Nice Guy
This guy is still acting like a chick, like a henid. He is feeling her. He is in the orbit of the hot chick and FEELS so 'mystified' by her. The Nice Guy is boring but he never realizes this, because he feels 'so good' by being around the hot chick. This is why the Nice Guy keeps doing his stupid dinner dates and stays consistently boring.
Player
This guy knows how stupid the Nice Guy way is, and strives to CONTROL the chick. He aims at rapport and 'creating attraction'. He is trying to CREATE FEELINGS in the chick. This has a natural glass ceiling because you cannot be 'creating feelings' forever, especially when it comes to a relationship and can't hide behind mystery and distance any longer. This guy is still at GROUND ZERO. He is not in the negative world of the Nice Guy, but he still hasn't understood the role Nature has. This path leads only to vanity, never love.
Don Juan
The historical Don Juan was a man who led a victorius naval battle. He would later run off and go after the Princess of Aragon (I believe).
The Nice Guy is drunk with his feelings. The Player keeps thinking of CONTROL and POWER over the chick's feelings. The Don Juan gives off feelings, unconsiocusly; he is a sexual light in the world the women flock to.
The Nice Guy mythologizes the woman. He turns her into a goddess.
The Don Juan mythologizes himself. He turns himself into a demi-god.
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE.
The players, seducers, etc. are caught in between. They still don't understand the power of imagination. In fact, they BLAME imagination for them being a Nice Guy. Now, they swear they are going to live only in 'reality'.
----------------------------
People always ridiculed me because I placed so much emphasis on what is going on in your MIND. But that is where the battle is. Start thinking sexual, even if you aren't changing your BEHAVIOR or doing any TACTICS, and women will respond differently. Why? No one, not Ross Jefferies, not ASF, not DeAngelo (a letter commented on this and he was mystified), no one understands it. It is a sixth sense. (No philosophy understands this either. Not Weineger, not the Greek philosophers, no one. The only people who seem to understand it are the poets.)
And with this seed of thought in your mind added with the soil of action, a cascade of reactions will occur. You will slowly change physically, mentally, emotionally, and, dare I say it, spiritually. You are in a new world, a true brave new world where imagination is used properly (not as some entertainment).
And this is how you unite Dream and Day.
Previous Pook Index Next
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Pook #35 - Approaching Women
I love approaching women! Here's a way to look at it:
We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.
Pook Version 1.2
In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.
So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.
"Hi."
"Hello."
"So... what you up to?"
"Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
"Oh... The same. Well, cya."
No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."
With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!
Pook Version 2.9
Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.
Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
She laughs. "Yes."
"Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
"Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.
Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?
The difference is,
1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.
2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.
The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"
The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"
Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"
Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.
Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?
You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.
No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.
This makes the difference.
*
Looks are more important to YOUNGER women. High school and college girls are more looks oriented.
"girls dont care too much about your personality at this age."
And what age are you speaking of, Bashful?
You'll be surprised how far a steady confidence will take you.
But I know this will not convince you. You think you've lost the lottery of life. I have some questions...
How can you be happy in a relationship if you're not happy being single?
If you want to be judged for your personality and not looks, do you, likewise, judge girls for their personalities and not their looks?
Whatever standards you have for women, they must be applied to yourself as well. Do you pursue a chick's personality or her looks?
I've been seeing this attitude of "It's all looks! Boo hoo! Woe is me!" If I had that same attitude, I'd be sitting in front of my computer every night, getting drunk, as my heart shrivels in the acid of bitterness.
Bashful, I have no sympathy for you. WOMEN are judged on looks much more harshly. When a fat chick whines, "Guys are just after looks!" You know what I say to them? "What are you going to do about it?" Usually these chicks either work out, make themselves thinner and more attractive or they turn into a militant feminist with a bitter excuse of a heart.
By letting their responses guide your actions, you are being shaped by your environment- in other words being feminine. This isn't attractive in any situation or age.
You are your destiny! What you do today shapes tomorrow. Think, dream, and never lose the name of action!
Three months from now, I want to come on this forum, and I want to see a post by Bashful saying, "Guys, this chick I am with IS AWESOME! Geez, I feel like the greatest guy in the world!"
You may think that's unrealistic. But on the Don Juan Forum, it happens all the time. Now its time for it to happen to you. But it will never come without ACTION and proper mindset.
We're behind you.
*
[Later on, reffering back to this post]
I now disagree with what I wrote there about the girls initializing dates/romance. I have never, in my life, seen a girl initiate a date for romantic interests. Girls will flirt to tell you they are interested, guys confirm your interest by asking for their number.
Just from observation, guys seem to fall in love much, much faster then girls do. The best defense I see from falling into infatuation so soon, so fast is to have interest in other women. This will prevent the she's-the-only-one-for-me disease.
Men want sex. Women want relationships. If they make it hard for us, then why should we not make it hard for them as well?
Previous Pook Index Next
We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.
Pook Version 1.2
In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.
So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.
"Hi."
"Hello."
"So... what you up to?"
"Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
"Oh... The same. Well, cya."
No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."
With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!
Pook Version 2.9
Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.
Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
She laughs. "Yes."
"Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
"Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.
Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?
The difference is,
1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.
2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.
The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"
The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"
Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"
Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.
Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?
You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.
No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.
This makes the difference.
*
Looks are more important to YOUNGER women. High school and college girls are more looks oriented.
"girls dont care too much about your personality at this age."
And what age are you speaking of, Bashful?
You'll be surprised how far a steady confidence will take you.
But I know this will not convince you. You think you've lost the lottery of life. I have some questions...
How can you be happy in a relationship if you're not happy being single?
If you want to be judged for your personality and not looks, do you, likewise, judge girls for their personalities and not their looks?
Whatever standards you have for women, they must be applied to yourself as well. Do you pursue a chick's personality or her looks?
I've been seeing this attitude of "It's all looks! Boo hoo! Woe is me!" If I had that same attitude, I'd be sitting in front of my computer every night, getting drunk, as my heart shrivels in the acid of bitterness.
Bashful, I have no sympathy for you. WOMEN are judged on looks much more harshly. When a fat chick whines, "Guys are just after looks!" You know what I say to them? "What are you going to do about it?" Usually these chicks either work out, make themselves thinner and more attractive or they turn into a militant feminist with a bitter excuse of a heart.
By letting their responses guide your actions, you are being shaped by your environment- in other words being feminine. This isn't attractive in any situation or age.
You are your destiny! What you do today shapes tomorrow. Think, dream, and never lose the name of action!
Three months from now, I want to come on this forum, and I want to see a post by Bashful saying, "Guys, this chick I am with IS AWESOME! Geez, I feel like the greatest guy in the world!"
You may think that's unrealistic. But on the Don Juan Forum, it happens all the time. Now its time for it to happen to you. But it will never come without ACTION and proper mindset.
We're behind you.
*
[Later on, reffering back to this post]
I now disagree with what I wrote there about the girls initializing dates/romance. I have never, in my life, seen a girl initiate a date for romantic interests. Girls will flirt to tell you they are interested, guys confirm your interest by asking for their number.
Just from observation, guys seem to fall in love much, much faster then girls do. The best defense I see from falling into infatuation so soon, so fast is to have interest in other women. This will prevent the she's-the-only-one-for-me disease.
Men want sex. Women want relationships. If they make it hard for us, then why should we not make it hard for them as well?
Previous Pook Index Next
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Pook #34 - What I've Learned
I know everyone has different objectives on this forum. Mine was a long term relationship.
After being away from this forum for a long while, I've realized what I think are conclusive things.
Anti-Dump is right all the way. Speed seduction, for the case of long term relationships, is worthless.
I would get results with speed seduction. But I might as well have been an actor. I enjoyed getting responses, but I was never happy.
Forget NLP, forget Speed Seduction, unless you wish to practice them all your life. For a long term relationship, they are worthless.
Anti-Dump and the advice on the website is much much better and actually works.
I have flaws, as does anyone else. Speed seduction could veil them, but I want to be accepted for myself and my flaws as well. True love demands the acceptance of the entire package.
Here's what I noticed to be extremely effective:
1) Go for the number, go for the date. (Guys should not flirt. Women flirt. The job of guys is to ask for the number and to call for the date. This cuts through all women's games.)
2) Don't talk about yourself! (Focus the conversation on her or on her interests. Only mention things about you if they are the same: "Yes, I think the same about parrots being evil too." So many women have said that I'm a 'mystery'. "Is this good?" "Yes" This is because when I do comment on myself, it is very vague and general. I keep my mouth shut. Also, you come across as a good listener. A good listener is the most sexiest trait a guy can have.)
3) Demand respect! (She may not give you her company, she may not give you her affection, but she should always, and I mean always, give you her respect. Women will not stay with guys they don't respect, and you wouldn't want to be with a woman that didn't respect you anyway.)
4) Don't be afraid to disagree. (This runs contrary to Speed Seduction. No, do not seek disagreements. If possible, try to bypass them. But never be afraid to disagree. Women want guys who have a mind of their own.)
5) Women are never the priority. (Your life is more important. Women take a backseat to your passions and hobbies. Failure to do this makes you desperate.)
Most imporantly, be yourself. Speed seduction will not give you happiness. You want to be accepted for who you are, not because you memorized patterns and lines from an internet website. Being yourself does not mean being a shy sniveling nice guy, it also includes self improvement.
You cannot 'act' yourself into happiness. Away with the NLP! Away with the Speed Seduction! Being yourself may give you more failures in dating, but it is the only path to true happiness.
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."
-----------------------------
[This message has been updated by Monsieur Pookiness on 07-25-2002).]
Why the update? There are always updates because you never stop learning.
Of Self-Improvement
By putting the focus on you, rather than the women, you DO gain a control on your life. Most people sleep-walk through life. Others figure out what women want and, like clay, remold themselves to that. But by focusing on yourself, you keep yourself from ever being desperate and, even if things do NOT work out with a particular woman or women, you are still better for it since you haven't stopped upgrading yourself.
At every work place since the 'Kill that Desperation' post, I always enter being one way and leave another. For example, one job I enter being 'kinda' cute to the girls there. I leave being 'pretty damn cute' and enter the next job at the same level. Eventually, I become 'hot' and leave to the next. (And I was a computer geek! If I could turn myself from a nerd to a stud, then anything is possible!)
In all your dealings with women, YOU are the only constant. Changing in how you think leads to a more correct action. A sound mind creates sound attraction.
I won't lie; self-improvement will get you no girls. But it does make it MUCH EASIER to obtain girls. If you don't have the balls to risk than nothing you can do will get girls. Nothing.
One thing that hasn't been stressed enough here is SOCIAL-IMPROVEMENT. This is beyond how to talk to a chick. This is being OUTGOING (which is hard to do when you are reading DJ posts. It's a classic Catch 22). Yes, you can read and be Mr. Smart. Yes, you can pump weights and be tough. But if you aren't outgoing, you will still be SINGLE.
Many guys here will fit this description: they are good-looking and know it. They are fit. They know they want a cutie. But, alas, there is a problem. It is not that they are shy; they have overgrown that. It is not that they are ugly; they are adonises. No, it is that they are imprisoned in their own homes. "Ask her out." To what!? What should they do? They feel uncomfortable since it is not what they usually do.
The only way to do something with confidence and with ease is to do it often. The Don Juan is not a mental trick, NLP, or script but a HABIT. Aristotle says, "We are the sum of our habits." You cannot read what is on this site and expect results. Habit is central. (And habits change from HOW you think!)
To those guys plagued with an icy fear on what to do when dating and all, they should date themselves. Literally try taking yourself out. What would you do? What is the plan? The focus is fun. If usual dates don't come to your liking, then choose what YOU want to do.
"But Pook! She may not like what I want!"
But YOU are the focus. As Anti-Dump always said, she MUST like your date ideas. If she says no, then oh well! If she does, then you two like doing the same things together! Dating is a machine to cycle through all the chicks and get you the one that fits. It is not a bending over backward to please the girl and 'woo' her.
Of Seduction
It can be wise not to seduce too fast, to not get her between your sheets ASAP. Patience is always a good thing and lets things grow between you two.
Confident guys are confident because they know that it will come. If it is not now, then it will come. If it will come, then it is not now. Yet, it will come. I think patience has been the biggest element to my success than anything else.
Of Risk
Why are you here at this site? For most guys, it is because they fell in love with a woman who tore his heart to pieces. Now they devour Don Juan material so it can never happen again. They never emotionally risk again; they just utilize scripts and philosophies.
Emotional risk is not stupid AFC stuff like calling all the time. It is not getting sappy. It is putting your ego on the line. Why should you do this? Because there is a greater risk than if you don't. Why have a woman if all you don't invest some of your emotion in it? It ruins the fun and the love.
"But Pook! You said be desireless!"
Desireless means controlling yourself rather than having her control you. And this is at the beginning. After a while with a girl, you SHOULD want to put some emotional attachment in.
"But what if I get hurt!?" Then you still win! Would you be here at this forum, learning how to be a Don Juan, if you got the woman you wanted?
You should thank the girl you didn't get because now you are a Don Juan. (Imagine if you were an AFC for your entire life! Yech!) If something similiar occurs, the same radical improvement will follow.
Do not use DJism as an armor for the risk of emotional attachment. DJing is a TOOL to a goal. The goal is not DJism itself.
Dating is a Win-Win
Do not look at women as a win or lose game. THE GOAL is to find a woman you love and one who loves you back (without either settling). The goal is NOT to make every chick like you. The goal is to make YOURSELF happy. Think of it as a weeding out process where THE ONE is at the end.
Every breath we take brings us one closer to our last. What are you waiting for? For yourself to become 'perfect'? You never will be. The key is to weed them out to find if she is perfect for you.
Do not try to get into a woman's head. I've done so and I've wasted countless time in the process. Women are meant to be loved, not understood. If you understand them, you can never love them. So choose to love them; it's a happier life than that of a dried up philosopher.
There is nothing to lose. Success is a certainty now. Turn off the computer, go out, and live.
Previous Pook Index Next
After being away from this forum for a long while, I've realized what I think are conclusive things.
Anti-Dump is right all the way. Speed seduction, for the case of long term relationships, is worthless.
I would get results with speed seduction. But I might as well have been an actor. I enjoyed getting responses, but I was never happy.
Forget NLP, forget Speed Seduction, unless you wish to practice them all your life. For a long term relationship, they are worthless.
Anti-Dump and the advice on the website is much much better and actually works.
I have flaws, as does anyone else. Speed seduction could veil them, but I want to be accepted for myself and my flaws as well. True love demands the acceptance of the entire package.
Here's what I noticed to be extremely effective:
1) Go for the number, go for the date. (Guys should not flirt. Women flirt. The job of guys is to ask for the number and to call for the date. This cuts through all women's games.)
2) Don't talk about yourself! (Focus the conversation on her or on her interests. Only mention things about you if they are the same: "Yes, I think the same about parrots being evil too." So many women have said that I'm a 'mystery'. "Is this good?" "Yes" This is because when I do comment on myself, it is very vague and general. I keep my mouth shut. Also, you come across as a good listener. A good listener is the most sexiest trait a guy can have.)
3) Demand respect! (She may not give you her company, she may not give you her affection, but she should always, and I mean always, give you her respect. Women will not stay with guys they don't respect, and you wouldn't want to be with a woman that didn't respect you anyway.)
4) Don't be afraid to disagree. (This runs contrary to Speed Seduction. No, do not seek disagreements. If possible, try to bypass them. But never be afraid to disagree. Women want guys who have a mind of their own.)
5) Women are never the priority. (Your life is more important. Women take a backseat to your passions and hobbies. Failure to do this makes you desperate.)
Most imporantly, be yourself. Speed seduction will not give you happiness. You want to be accepted for who you are, not because you memorized patterns and lines from an internet website. Being yourself does not mean being a shy sniveling nice guy, it also includes self improvement.
You cannot 'act' yourself into happiness. Away with the NLP! Away with the Speed Seduction! Being yourself may give you more failures in dating, but it is the only path to true happiness.
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."
-----------------------------
[This message has been updated by Monsieur Pookiness on 07-25-2002).]
Why the update? There are always updates because you never stop learning.
Of Self-Improvement
By putting the focus on you, rather than the women, you DO gain a control on your life. Most people sleep-walk through life. Others figure out what women want and, like clay, remold themselves to that. But by focusing on yourself, you keep yourself from ever being desperate and, even if things do NOT work out with a particular woman or women, you are still better for it since you haven't stopped upgrading yourself.
At every work place since the 'Kill that Desperation' post, I always enter being one way and leave another. For example, one job I enter being 'kinda' cute to the girls there. I leave being 'pretty damn cute' and enter the next job at the same level. Eventually, I become 'hot' and leave to the next. (And I was a computer geek! If I could turn myself from a nerd to a stud, then anything is possible!)
In all your dealings with women, YOU are the only constant. Changing in how you think leads to a more correct action. A sound mind creates sound attraction.
I won't lie; self-improvement will get you no girls. But it does make it MUCH EASIER to obtain girls. If you don't have the balls to risk than nothing you can do will get girls. Nothing.
One thing that hasn't been stressed enough here is SOCIAL-IMPROVEMENT. This is beyond how to talk to a chick. This is being OUTGOING (which is hard to do when you are reading DJ posts. It's a classic Catch 22). Yes, you can read and be Mr. Smart. Yes, you can pump weights and be tough. But if you aren't outgoing, you will still be SINGLE.
Many guys here will fit this description: they are good-looking and know it. They are fit. They know they want a cutie. But, alas, there is a problem. It is not that they are shy; they have overgrown that. It is not that they are ugly; they are adonises. No, it is that they are imprisoned in their own homes. "Ask her out." To what!? What should they do? They feel uncomfortable since it is not what they usually do.
The only way to do something with confidence and with ease is to do it often. The Don Juan is not a mental trick, NLP, or script but a HABIT. Aristotle says, "We are the sum of our habits." You cannot read what is on this site and expect results. Habit is central. (And habits change from HOW you think!)
To those guys plagued with an icy fear on what to do when dating and all, they should date themselves. Literally try taking yourself out. What would you do? What is the plan? The focus is fun. If usual dates don't come to your liking, then choose what YOU want to do.
"But Pook! She may not like what I want!"
But YOU are the focus. As Anti-Dump always said, she MUST like your date ideas. If she says no, then oh well! If she does, then you two like doing the same things together! Dating is a machine to cycle through all the chicks and get you the one that fits. It is not a bending over backward to please the girl and 'woo' her.
Of Seduction
It can be wise not to seduce too fast, to not get her between your sheets ASAP. Patience is always a good thing and lets things grow between you two.
Confident guys are confident because they know that it will come. If it is not now, then it will come. If it will come, then it is not now. Yet, it will come. I think patience has been the biggest element to my success than anything else.
Of Risk
Why are you here at this site? For most guys, it is because they fell in love with a woman who tore his heart to pieces. Now they devour Don Juan material so it can never happen again. They never emotionally risk again; they just utilize scripts and philosophies.
Emotional risk is not stupid AFC stuff like calling all the time. It is not getting sappy. It is putting your ego on the line. Why should you do this? Because there is a greater risk than if you don't. Why have a woman if all you don't invest some of your emotion in it? It ruins the fun and the love.
"But Pook! You said be desireless!"
Desireless means controlling yourself rather than having her control you. And this is at the beginning. After a while with a girl, you SHOULD want to put some emotional attachment in.
"But what if I get hurt!?" Then you still win! Would you be here at this forum, learning how to be a Don Juan, if you got the woman you wanted?
You should thank the girl you didn't get because now you are a Don Juan. (Imagine if you were an AFC for your entire life! Yech!) If something similiar occurs, the same radical improvement will follow.
Do not use DJism as an armor for the risk of emotional attachment. DJing is a TOOL to a goal. The goal is not DJism itself.
Dating is a Win-Win
Do not look at women as a win or lose game. THE GOAL is to find a woman you love and one who loves you back (without either settling). The goal is NOT to make every chick like you. The goal is to make YOURSELF happy. Think of it as a weeding out process where THE ONE is at the end.
Every breath we take brings us one closer to our last. What are you waiting for? For yourself to become 'perfect'? You never will be. The key is to weed them out to find if she is perfect for you.
Do not try to get into a woman's head. I've done so and I've wasted countless time in the process. Women are meant to be loved, not understood. If you understand them, you can never love them. So choose to love them; it's a happier life than that of a dried up philosopher.
There is nothing to lose. Success is a certainty now. Turn off the computer, go out, and live.
Previous Pook Index Next
Monday, August 02, 2004
Pook #33 - On Kino
QUOTE: "I've noticed that the concept of kino is almost as widely misunderstood as neghits,"
So many newbies rush out there with 'neghits' as wild knights to destroy the hot chicks' castle-like egos. Likewise, so many newbies get creepy with the kino. You're right, it IS misunderstood. These are subtle tools, not sledgehammers.
With anything, keep your attitude light and fun. If heaviness weighs down your spirit, don't go experimenting.
QUOTE: "so I wrote this to provide some added insight into what is REALLY going on with kino. Hopefully it will be of help to those who are interested."
I am interested! Speak on, Mr. DeepBlue!
QUOTE: "The common view of kino is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you."
If this is the common view of kino, then there is a problem.
QUOTE: "That is certainly true,"
NO! Saying that Kino is to give the WOMAN pleasure? Why is the focus on the woman? No, the focus MUST be on YOURSELF. Yes, she should find pleasure in the kino. But YOU should find pleasure in the kino too.
You touch her because YOU want to, not because SHE wants it. Why? Because she wants to be TOUCHED and FLIRTED with by EVERY DECENT-CUTE GUY. We are not play-toys for their endless appetite of sexuality.
[quote]and we're lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino.[/quote
Nah, the seduction of women hasn't really changed. The same rules apply. The only real difference in this age is that ugly chicks don't have dowries (how else can you get a man to marry them?) and most women are financially independent.
Also, males are afraid of being men and scared of their own sexuality (the AFC)
Did you know that HALF of all the marriages in the British Colonies of North America, right around the War of Independence, was when the woman was already pregnant? These were the Puritans as well!
Our ancestors were Don Juans. Why not we?
QUOTE: "But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you're just getting to know, is that it isn't merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you."
So true!
If I ever read another post that says, "She did X and Y, then Z!!! Oh, and look at how she did M and then went and N! DOES SHE LIKE ME OR IS SHE BEING NICE?" the answer is, "DID YOU TOUCH HER?" Kino ALWAYS has a SURE answer (as well as asking her out. But she can date you to be polite, she cannot fake her reaction to kino)
Kino is a GREAT way to test their interest. Girls that don't like you, or find you neutral, will not like you touching them.
Usually when I kino a girl, it is very subtle. Everyone else in the universe thinks it is innocent. However, if a girl believes that you are being friendly versus liking her, she will choose to think that you like her. Thus, any kino is interpreted as LIKING HER.
She usually then RAINS kino back on poor Pook. She'll rub your arm. Rub her body against you. Anything.
Whatever you do, DO NOT KINO girls that you are not interested in. I have done this and these girls obsessed about me to the end. One planned out our marriage and all. Kino is THAT powerful.
In fact... oh, DeepBlue wishes to speak.
QUOTE: "The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers."
IN YOUR MIND. Yes!
NOT in her mind. Women fall in love with their bodies; men fall in love with their mind. It is from men that the idealized love springs from poetry to sculpture to paintings, etc. Yet, if women are caressed the right way, touched in the proper manner, at the right speed, etc. then they are yours.
(This is why women want men that are 'experienced' because they want to FEEL that way. Women have no concept of idealization from the virtue of virginity or maidenhood, etc. except in relation to society.)
Men's sexuality is focused and concentrated within his body. With a woman, her sexuality is diffused throughout her entire body. All touch to her is sexual since she is entirely sexual.
QUOTE: "Typical AFC behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place. Doesn't matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover--THAT is why he ends up in the friend category."
AFC is scared of HIS sexuality. He is scared of carnal embrace.
QUOTE: "Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them."
No, because he acted like penis-less ape who has money, can speak, but is some bizzarre andrygnous.
It is men that create the barriers. If men would embrace their own sexuality (dress better, be athletic, act like a man, exercise the muscles, etc.), then women WILL jump you.
This is what the PUAs must realize. It is not that they are pressing the woman's buttons. They are merely disarming the barriers, letting REAL women, not domesticated women, out of their society-reflective cages ("If I do this I will be seen as a slut" etc. THAT is put to sleep.)
Women WANT union ALL THE TIME. Even if they are married, pregnant, engaged, or have a BF, they want YOU to be sexual towards them. (but this doesn't mean you should)
Alas, I am moving away from the kino topic.
Go on, DeepBlue! Go on!
QUOTE: "Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you're still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers."
Nervous about the barriers? It is nervious about realizing your own sexuality.
QUOTE: "So you look for excuses to touch,"
Hehe, it will still be interpreted in the woman's mind as, "He wants to have sex with me." She will see through the excuses, right ladies?
QUOTE: "or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you're trying to mask some underlying nervousness.
But ultimately where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of axiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT. And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety."
The excitement comes FROM YOU. If she is experiencing anxiety, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Women are reflective in nature.
If I take a Nice Guy with me to the Women-Fest, this is what happens:
"How are you ladies! I am the Pook!"
She shivers with excitement. "OH! It is a POOK!"
She and I are having a fabulous time. She is happy and smiling. My Nice Guy dork friend just looks sad, confused, bothered, angry, sad, depressed, sad, confused, and so on.
She looks over at the Nice Guy and her face FALLS. Her mood instantly evaporates.
GO IN HAPPY and she will be happy. GO IN NERVOUS and she will be nervous and unhappy.
QUOTE: "Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don't know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles the baby starts laughing."
See above.
QUOTE: "Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the "touch barriers" between you and her then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she'll experience it as something that isn't right and that makes her uncomfortable."
EXACTLY!
QUOTE: "One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness."
THINK the outcome is already won. THINK that she is going to do all the ungodly things you want her to, it is just a matter of WHEN. In the meantime, you have fun because YOU KNOW THE OUTCOME.
Women interpret this as confidence and persistance, two traits THAT TURN THEM ON (self-fulfilling prophecy, for as you think, THEY shall become)
QUOTE: "Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact, and nervous people look serious so be sure to smile a lot.
Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense."
If you are nervous then you have not been around women very much.
QUOTE: "All these things will convey confidence causing her to mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety."
Not only that, but she will START TOUCHING YOU like crazy! Good heavens, I have had to literally tell them to stop. Once you show it is ok to be touchy feely, by the heavens, they will unleash touchiness.
QUOTE: "The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it."
In other words, SHE LIKES IT. YOU LIKE IT. So DO IT.
QUOTE: "Besides convey confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it isn't either too challenging, nor too tame.
As you start slowly caressing her--her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand--the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame."
Hmm, I don't caress them unless I am going out with them or such. I usually touch them a little and it is like the floodgates are open on touching the Pook.
Kino is to make sure you are not a Sexual Mannequin because Sexual Mannequins do not initiate kino! They just stand there and smile. But after the touch, she thinks of you in flesh-and-blood terms then in the abstract image way. In other words, in a PHYSICAL way. In Womaniverse, you cannot seperate the physical from the sexual. Anything physical you do with her she interprets as sexual (probably why girls fall in love with you during ACTION dates since they are using their bodies from dancing to skating and so on).
Previous Pook Index Next
So many newbies rush out there with 'neghits' as wild knights to destroy the hot chicks' castle-like egos. Likewise, so many newbies get creepy with the kino. You're right, it IS misunderstood. These are subtle tools, not sledgehammers.
With anything, keep your attitude light and fun. If heaviness weighs down your spirit, don't go experimenting.
QUOTE: "so I wrote this to provide some added insight into what is REALLY going on with kino. Hopefully it will be of help to those who are interested."
I am interested! Speak on, Mr. DeepBlue!
QUOTE: "The common view of kino is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you."
If this is the common view of kino, then there is a problem.
QUOTE: "That is certainly true,"
NO! Saying that Kino is to give the WOMAN pleasure? Why is the focus on the woman? No, the focus MUST be on YOURSELF. Yes, she should find pleasure in the kino. But YOU should find pleasure in the kino too.
You touch her because YOU want to, not because SHE wants it. Why? Because she wants to be TOUCHED and FLIRTED with by EVERY DECENT-CUTE GUY. We are not play-toys for their endless appetite of sexuality.
[quote]and we're lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino.[/quote
Nah, the seduction of women hasn't really changed. The same rules apply. The only real difference in this age is that ugly chicks don't have dowries (how else can you get a man to marry them?) and most women are financially independent.
Also, males are afraid of being men and scared of their own sexuality (the AFC)
Did you know that HALF of all the marriages in the British Colonies of North America, right around the War of Independence, was when the woman was already pregnant? These were the Puritans as well!
Our ancestors were Don Juans. Why not we?
QUOTE: "But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you're just getting to know, is that it isn't merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you."
So true!
If I ever read another post that says, "She did X and Y, then Z!!! Oh, and look at how she did M and then went and N! DOES SHE LIKE ME OR IS SHE BEING NICE?" the answer is, "DID YOU TOUCH HER?" Kino ALWAYS has a SURE answer (as well as asking her out. But she can date you to be polite, she cannot fake her reaction to kino)
Kino is a GREAT way to test their interest. Girls that don't like you, or find you neutral, will not like you touching them.
Usually when I kino a girl, it is very subtle. Everyone else in the universe thinks it is innocent. However, if a girl believes that you are being friendly versus liking her, she will choose to think that you like her. Thus, any kino is interpreted as LIKING HER.
She usually then RAINS kino back on poor Pook. She'll rub your arm. Rub her body against you. Anything.
Whatever you do, DO NOT KINO girls that you are not interested in. I have done this and these girls obsessed about me to the end. One planned out our marriage and all. Kino is THAT powerful.
In fact... oh, DeepBlue wishes to speak.
QUOTE: "The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers."
IN YOUR MIND. Yes!
NOT in her mind. Women fall in love with their bodies; men fall in love with their mind. It is from men that the idealized love springs from poetry to sculpture to paintings, etc. Yet, if women are caressed the right way, touched in the proper manner, at the right speed, etc. then they are yours.
(This is why women want men that are 'experienced' because they want to FEEL that way. Women have no concept of idealization from the virtue of virginity or maidenhood, etc. except in relation to society.)
Men's sexuality is focused and concentrated within his body. With a woman, her sexuality is diffused throughout her entire body. All touch to her is sexual since she is entirely sexual.
QUOTE: "Typical AFC behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place. Doesn't matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover--THAT is why he ends up in the friend category."
AFC is scared of HIS sexuality. He is scared of carnal embrace.
QUOTE: "Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them."
No, because he acted like penis-less ape who has money, can speak, but is some bizzarre andrygnous.
It is men that create the barriers. If men would embrace their own sexuality (dress better, be athletic, act like a man, exercise the muscles, etc.), then women WILL jump you.
This is what the PUAs must realize. It is not that they are pressing the woman's buttons. They are merely disarming the barriers, letting REAL women, not domesticated women, out of their society-reflective cages ("If I do this I will be seen as a slut" etc. THAT is put to sleep.)
Women WANT union ALL THE TIME. Even if they are married, pregnant, engaged, or have a BF, they want YOU to be sexual towards them. (but this doesn't mean you should)
Alas, I am moving away from the kino topic.
Go on, DeepBlue! Go on!
QUOTE: "Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you're still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers."
Nervous about the barriers? It is nervious about realizing your own sexuality.
QUOTE: "So you look for excuses to touch,"
Hehe, it will still be interpreted in the woman's mind as, "He wants to have sex with me." She will see through the excuses, right ladies?
QUOTE: "or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you're trying to mask some underlying nervousness.
But ultimately where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of axiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT. And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety."
The excitement comes FROM YOU. If she is experiencing anxiety, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Women are reflective in nature.
If I take a Nice Guy with me to the Women-Fest, this is what happens:
"How are you ladies! I am the Pook!"
She shivers with excitement. "OH! It is a POOK!"
She and I are having a fabulous time. She is happy and smiling. My Nice Guy dork friend just looks sad, confused, bothered, angry, sad, depressed, sad, confused, and so on.
She looks over at the Nice Guy and her face FALLS. Her mood instantly evaporates.
GO IN HAPPY and she will be happy. GO IN NERVOUS and she will be nervous and unhappy.
QUOTE: "Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don't know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles the baby starts laughing."
See above.
QUOTE: "Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the "touch barriers" between you and her then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she'll experience it as something that isn't right and that makes her uncomfortable."
EXACTLY!
QUOTE: "One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness."
THINK the outcome is already won. THINK that she is going to do all the ungodly things you want her to, it is just a matter of WHEN. In the meantime, you have fun because YOU KNOW THE OUTCOME.
Women interpret this as confidence and persistance, two traits THAT TURN THEM ON (self-fulfilling prophecy, for as you think, THEY shall become)
QUOTE: "Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact, and nervous people look serious so be sure to smile a lot.
Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense."
If you are nervous then you have not been around women very much.
QUOTE: "All these things will convey confidence causing her to mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety."
Not only that, but she will START TOUCHING YOU like crazy! Good heavens, I have had to literally tell them to stop. Once you show it is ok to be touchy feely, by the heavens, they will unleash touchiness.
QUOTE: "The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it."
In other words, SHE LIKES IT. YOU LIKE IT. So DO IT.
QUOTE: "Besides convey confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it isn't either too challenging, nor too tame.
As you start slowly caressing her--her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand--the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame."
Hmm, I don't caress them unless I am going out with them or such. I usually touch them a little and it is like the floodgates are open on touching the Pook.
Kino is to make sure you are not a Sexual Mannequin because Sexual Mannequins do not initiate kino! They just stand there and smile. But after the touch, she thinks of you in flesh-and-blood terms then in the abstract image way. In other words, in a PHYSICAL way. In Womaniverse, you cannot seperate the physical from the sexual. Anything physical you do with her she interprets as sexual (probably why girls fall in love with you during ACTION dates since they are using their bodies from dancing to skating and so on).
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Sunday, August 01, 2004
Pook #32 - Aim High!
I know not how others see it; but as for me, I see Don Juaning as making dreams come true.
Dreams! The spice of life, the universal spring of success! But I must be wrong, for Bryan Redford says, ”stick to your own league."(http://www.sosuave.com/home/redfield/bryan22.htm)
Stick to your own league! What does that mean? Does that mean there exists an aristocracy of genetics, and that we happened to be on the bottom, the status of clowns and peasants to these princesses and princes?
“Forgive me, madam. But you, dear, are out of my league.” Is this what we should say to the girls we find gorgeous and beautiful? But why stop there? Why not ask, “Oh, please, may I have permission to speak to you, princess?” or “Thank you, dear, for letting me be in your graceful presence.”
“Pook, you exaggerate.”
Do I? Don’t misunderstand. I think Redford has some wise things to say, but that column of desiring beautiful women is the worst advice I’ve seen. Never cede your dreams for you risk losing your soul.
Redford says that there does in fact exist ‘leagues’, a type of genetic (or social) aristocracy. Just as one would love crumbs and blobs of fat if you were starving, Redford compares overweight women to absolutely no women (taking a page out of the ‘How to Love Fat Bloated Hags’, a sub-genre of the worst relationship books).
Redford then says… Wait! I will let him speak for himself:
"By that I mean no matter how great you think you are, or how deserving you feel you may be, the real world put you back in your place and gave you a reality check. You eventually accept it, adjust to it and learn to appreciate and enjoy your Honda. You also learn rather quickly that a Honda can take you to the exact same places a Mercedes can take you to."
Now for those of you who are cheering his words as “Wonderful!” and “Brilliant!”, I ask only for a full actualization of his advice.
Let us place Redford in front of a custodian. Speak, Redford:
“How are you! You may think that you can do better but the real world puts you in your place and gives you a reality check. You must accept it, adjust to it and learn to appreciate and enjoy your custodial duties.”
And if the custodian responds, “I know I can do better,” what would Redford say? Quiet! Let us hear him:
“If you were starving, would you scoff at your work? No! You would get on your hands and knees and thank God for your fortune. You also learn that a custodian’s paycheck feeds and clothes you just as any other paycheck would.”
This ‘advice’ is called Settling for Mediocrity. If you do it with women, why not use it for every other avenue of your life? Mediocrity in the pursuit for a splinter of joy is no joy at all. For me, the pursuit of the dream is the joy.
The letter writer did admit that he was physically overweight. But that does not mean he has to settle and cede his dreams. (I for one would not want a Mercedes or a very nice car since I know it would be stolen. But if you want a Mercedes, just go get one. There are no limits to what we can accomplish.)
A friend of mine is also faced in a similar situation. He is twenty six, lives with his parents, works at the same grocery store for more then half a decade, has no long term plans for the future, doesn’t work out, and demands a beautiful woman. Obviously, he is caught in a bubble of fantasy.
There is nothing wrong with going for high standards. But, there is a catch. It is this catch, when not obeyed, will keep you in that bubble of fantasy. In fact, Shakespeare has saying on it in which he says…
“The catch, Pook. Get to the catch.”
Very well. Here it is:
The high standards you apply to your desires must be applied to yourself.
Do you want a woman who is not overweight? Then you must eliminate your overweight. Do you want a woman who is intellectually brilliant? Then you must hit the books, read the classics, think, and expand your mind. Do you want a woman who is athletic? Then you too must become athletic.
Try, if you want, to get a woman who is better then you in these traits. You may or may not succeed. But only demand that which you can reflect as well. This forces you on the path of self-improvement.
Let me tell you a story. In my late Nice Guy phase, I fell infatuated with this girl. (Yeah, not uncommon. I know.) And like every Nice Guy, I dreamed of our blissful future. When I would get around her, I become very tense with butterflies in my stomach. Oh, how I dreamed about her! More important, I dreamed about us. So I eventually bit the bullet and asked her out. Guess what her response was?
No.
No.
She said no! My soul buckled and I was literally crushed.
Later, when I shrugged off that Nice Guyness, I was looking for a girlfriend. I thought a break came when a girl, a bit homely, had fallen in love with me a few months later. I thought, “Should I go for her?” Then I realized, “NO!” (Later, I realized that she and my crush were good friends. I eventually found out my crush tried to ‘set us up’.) I knew I could do better. And I did.
By focusing on my interests, on my goals, on my improvement, everything changed. Other girls started to take an interest in me. Soon, I became the biggest mystery. My ‘crush’ is bewildered for her friends have the hots for me and older women say, “How I wish I were twenty years younger!” I became the guy the girls talked about when they were alone. And she had placed me in the ‘average’ category. Ha!
Of course, I lost all attraction for her. I felt embarrassed about my past self. How could I get so whipped by a chick I hardly talked to? Now it doesn’t matter, for I have the mindset that I’m going to win the world.
Perhaps you can relate to the story. But the point is that I disagree with Redford in this: The fault is not in the standards; it is ourselves. The failure is not in our high standards; it is failing to apply those standards in ourselves.
There IS an aristocracy. But it is not an aristocracy of genetics; it is an aristocracy of WILL and PASSION. Name any name in history, any grand person in present, and see if it was their DRIVE that got them where they are. There is no lottery of life. The leagues you see are the ones you create in your own mind. Anyone can get a beauty. Hell, even Voltaire had the audacity to say, “Give me ten minutes of talk and I shall bed the Queen of France.”
Aim high! And as each standard increases, so does yourself. In this manner, you benefit from your fantasy for now it is tethered to reality, yanking you forward in your proper destiny.
Aim high! And behold, for everything shall become new. The women you were lusting for earlier will seem lowly, for you have been on the course of self-improvement while they have not. You worked out; they remained scrawny. You read; they wasted their time. You saved your money and pulled yourself up; they are locked in debt.
Aim high! For Redford says, “Your life depends on it,” and he is more correct then ever, but not in how he means it.
Here is your choice: settle for mediocrity or aim high. The former is simple, can occur right now, and only requires the selling of your dreams. The latter demands rigor, the higher you aim the more rigorous, but your dreams can come true.
Aim high! For Strindberg says, “I dream, therefore I exist.” For to dream is to become.
Previous Pook Index Next
Dreams! The spice of life, the universal spring of success! But I must be wrong, for Bryan Redford says, ”stick to your own league."(http://www.sosuave.com/home/redfield/bryan22.htm)
Stick to your own league! What does that mean? Does that mean there exists an aristocracy of genetics, and that we happened to be on the bottom, the status of clowns and peasants to these princesses and princes?
“Forgive me, madam. But you, dear, are out of my league.” Is this what we should say to the girls we find gorgeous and beautiful? But why stop there? Why not ask, “Oh, please, may I have permission to speak to you, princess?” or “Thank you, dear, for letting me be in your graceful presence.”
“Pook, you exaggerate.”
Do I? Don’t misunderstand. I think Redford has some wise things to say, but that column of desiring beautiful women is the worst advice I’ve seen. Never cede your dreams for you risk losing your soul.
Redford says that there does in fact exist ‘leagues’, a type of genetic (or social) aristocracy. Just as one would love crumbs and blobs of fat if you were starving, Redford compares overweight women to absolutely no women (taking a page out of the ‘How to Love Fat Bloated Hags’, a sub-genre of the worst relationship books).
Redford then says… Wait! I will let him speak for himself:
"By that I mean no matter how great you think you are, or how deserving you feel you may be, the real world put you back in your place and gave you a reality check. You eventually accept it, adjust to it and learn to appreciate and enjoy your Honda. You also learn rather quickly that a Honda can take you to the exact same places a Mercedes can take you to."
Now for those of you who are cheering his words as “Wonderful!” and “Brilliant!”, I ask only for a full actualization of his advice.
Let us place Redford in front of a custodian. Speak, Redford:
“How are you! You may think that you can do better but the real world puts you in your place and gives you a reality check. You must accept it, adjust to it and learn to appreciate and enjoy your custodial duties.”
And if the custodian responds, “I know I can do better,” what would Redford say? Quiet! Let us hear him:
“If you were starving, would you scoff at your work? No! You would get on your hands and knees and thank God for your fortune. You also learn that a custodian’s paycheck feeds and clothes you just as any other paycheck would.”
This ‘advice’ is called Settling for Mediocrity. If you do it with women, why not use it for every other avenue of your life? Mediocrity in the pursuit for a splinter of joy is no joy at all. For me, the pursuit of the dream is the joy.
The letter writer did admit that he was physically overweight. But that does not mean he has to settle and cede his dreams. (I for one would not want a Mercedes or a very nice car since I know it would be stolen. But if you want a Mercedes, just go get one. There are no limits to what we can accomplish.)
A friend of mine is also faced in a similar situation. He is twenty six, lives with his parents, works at the same grocery store for more then half a decade, has no long term plans for the future, doesn’t work out, and demands a beautiful woman. Obviously, he is caught in a bubble of fantasy.
There is nothing wrong with going for high standards. But, there is a catch. It is this catch, when not obeyed, will keep you in that bubble of fantasy. In fact, Shakespeare has saying on it in which he says…
“The catch, Pook. Get to the catch.”
Very well. Here it is:
The high standards you apply to your desires must be applied to yourself.
Do you want a woman who is not overweight? Then you must eliminate your overweight. Do you want a woman who is intellectually brilliant? Then you must hit the books, read the classics, think, and expand your mind. Do you want a woman who is athletic? Then you too must become athletic.
Try, if you want, to get a woman who is better then you in these traits. You may or may not succeed. But only demand that which you can reflect as well. This forces you on the path of self-improvement.
Let me tell you a story. In my late Nice Guy phase, I fell infatuated with this girl. (Yeah, not uncommon. I know.) And like every Nice Guy, I dreamed of our blissful future. When I would get around her, I become very tense with butterflies in my stomach. Oh, how I dreamed about her! More important, I dreamed about us. So I eventually bit the bullet and asked her out. Guess what her response was?
No.
No.
She said no! My soul buckled and I was literally crushed.
Later, when I shrugged off that Nice Guyness, I was looking for a girlfriend. I thought a break came when a girl, a bit homely, had fallen in love with me a few months later. I thought, “Should I go for her?” Then I realized, “NO!” (Later, I realized that she and my crush were good friends. I eventually found out my crush tried to ‘set us up’.) I knew I could do better. And I did.
By focusing on my interests, on my goals, on my improvement, everything changed. Other girls started to take an interest in me. Soon, I became the biggest mystery. My ‘crush’ is bewildered for her friends have the hots for me and older women say, “How I wish I were twenty years younger!” I became the guy the girls talked about when they were alone. And she had placed me in the ‘average’ category. Ha!
Of course, I lost all attraction for her. I felt embarrassed about my past self. How could I get so whipped by a chick I hardly talked to? Now it doesn’t matter, for I have the mindset that I’m going to win the world.
Perhaps you can relate to the story. But the point is that I disagree with Redford in this: The fault is not in the standards; it is ourselves. The failure is not in our high standards; it is failing to apply those standards in ourselves.
There IS an aristocracy. But it is not an aristocracy of genetics; it is an aristocracy of WILL and PASSION. Name any name in history, any grand person in present, and see if it was their DRIVE that got them where they are. There is no lottery of life. The leagues you see are the ones you create in your own mind. Anyone can get a beauty. Hell, even Voltaire had the audacity to say, “Give me ten minutes of talk and I shall bed the Queen of France.”
Aim high! And as each standard increases, so does yourself. In this manner, you benefit from your fantasy for now it is tethered to reality, yanking you forward in your proper destiny.
Aim high! And behold, for everything shall become new. The women you were lusting for earlier will seem lowly, for you have been on the course of self-improvement while they have not. You worked out; they remained scrawny. You read; they wasted their time. You saved your money and pulled yourself up; they are locked in debt.
Aim high! For Redford says, “Your life depends on it,” and he is more correct then ever, but not in how he means it.
Here is your choice: settle for mediocrity or aim high. The former is simple, can occur right now, and only requires the selling of your dreams. The latter demands rigor, the higher you aim the more rigorous, but your dreams can come true.
Aim high! For Strindberg says, “I dream, therefore I exist.” For to dream is to become.
Previous Pook Index Next
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