Al Bundy's Wife Chant

I've seen her from the front

I've seen her from the back

I've seen her in a chair

I've seen her in a sack

I've seen her stand

I've seen her crouch

I've seen her on our stupid couch

I do not like her in the mall
I do not like her in the hall
I do not like her in my life
I do not like my big red wife

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"You are determined to be married as soon as possible, and advise me to the same. No, thank ye .. Many and great are the comforts of a single state." -- Thomas Jefferson - Random Remarks as a Young Man