Monday, November 20, 2006

If All Your Friends Jumped Off a Bridge...

Is there anything that illustrates women's herd mentality better than tattoo mania?

Ugggh! What are women thinking? When you own a Lamborghini you don't take it to the shop to put pinstripes and decals on it!

The biggest problem with tattoo mania is that women don't ask men what they think of tattoos BEFORE they go out and whore up their bodies. I think that women have some sort of muddied thinking going on where they figure that since they are attracted to men in biker gangs, that men are also attracted to biker bitches. - WRONG!

This is what happens all the time. A girl goes out for a weekend to another town and comes home with not one, but 3 tattoos! Then she runs up to all the guys to proudly show them off, thinking that she's made herself infinitely more sexy. It breaks my heart that she did something so stupid. You can see it in the guys faces, too. First, the eyelids close as their head pulls back a bit and they think of what to say without offending her - because it's too late to say anything negative now.

I've had this happen with my highschool sweetheart and it made me really angry. I hadn't seen her in over four years and we got together for a drink and here she starts showing me all of the tattoos she has that she thinks are "so cool." What can you say? I left completely repulsed. Here was a the first woman I had serious longterm relationship with and lost my virginity with... there's always something special about "the first one" that lingers innocently and sexily in the back of one's mind... and she shattered my memory of her once so sweet body by showing me it was now plastered with hideous doodles and graffiti placed upon her by some greasy, back alley slimeball. I am really serious, I was pissed off! For months afterwards too! My memory of her was forever tainted.

I had a second similar experience with a girl I have been friends with for 20 years now. I was back to my hometown for a visit and went out for a beer with her and her husband. This once extremely sexy girl could not resist pulling her clothes aside to show me all 3 of the tattoos she had gotten on her last trip to the big city. I could tell by the look on her husband's face that he was repulsed by them, and I too was left stammering, trying to think of something nice to say and not hurt her feelings. It felt like I was visiting a friend in the hospital who had suffered severe burns and I was saying she still looked beautiful - even though it is obvious that it was no longer true.

I think that women have become so arrogant in their self-proclaimed fashion sense, that they are no longer capable of realizing they have permanently made themselves look hideous. Just because all your girlfriends think it looks sexy DOES NOT mean that men think you look sexy. Here's a little tip, girls: men like NICE girls. They always have. Slutty clothes and tattoos are only tolerated when a man is slumming. If I am out slumming for some sport sex and a girl has a tramp stamp - well, if I would have sex with her at all, it would be missionary style because I don't want to see that hideous thing. If you have a tattoo on your left boob, you can count on the right "normal" boob getting all the attention.

The only thing more hideous than a tattoo is a piercing. Who the hell ever thought that putting a piece of metal through a nipple or a clitoris would make it look sexier? What fucked up thinking! Nipples are pretty nice completely without help! But, at least piercing freaks are somewhat smarter in the sense that they are not permanent and can be easily removed - unlike a hideous tattoo.

Remember, no man has ever found a woman repugnant for NOT having a tattoo!