I am not interested in putting anyone either on or “off the hook.” I am interested in facts, in the truth of how things actually work, because I believe that no real changes can be made, in our own lives or in the world, unless based on a clear vision and understanding of what is actually happening and why. “Blame” is an emotionally-loaded opinion; facts are emotionally neutral, simply aspects of reality-as-it-is. What I present is (what I believe to be) a factually-true — if little understood — picture of how our world is formed.
So far as I’m aware, there has never been a reported case of a man becoming pregnant, gestating and giving birth to a child, of either gender. Nor of any similar event in any other sexual species. Indeed, the definition of “male” is based on this fact. It is females that lay eggs, or give birth. It is females who create new life. Males play a part, true, but not always. As I’ve noted before, the single key to understanding the entire “gender question” I found when I learned (in the book Why Males Exist) that there is a significant number of species which used to be sexual but no longer are — because the females thereof simply stopped producing males. These species still exist, quite successfully occupying ecological niches, but they consist entirely of females — though that may not be the correct term, since “female” implies “male,” and there are no males in these species.
Think about this: Males are optional. It is females who make males — and can not make males, if they so choose. Where power is exercised, there lies responsibility — and nowhere else. This is not a moral judgment; it is simply fact. If a member of one of these female-only species does something, you can’t “blame” the male — because there isn’t one.
And among humans this female creative power extends very much beyond the simple fact of physical gestation and birthing. Women are responsible not only for the fact that men exist, but for the character and quality of the men they create, because they naturally have charge of the child’s early development. Even feminists, for all their claim of “equality,” are clearly unwilling to give up this power — else why do mothers demand and get “custody” in over 80% of divorce cases? This is not “blaming the mother”; it is simply a statement of fact.
Certainly “we need to stand up to the image that women have for us.” But to do so effectively we must first understand that we are that image, the “little man” that Mommy created in her mind’s image of the “ideal” male (i.e. better than the lout she unfortunately married). The key word you use yourself: “unconscious.” So long as the process remains unconscious, it cannot be corrected. If our “clinging to mommy” is unconscious, then how will we ever “find our power”? It’s not necessary to “blame” mommy, but it is necessary to see clearly that how she created and reared me has made me what I am: to bring what has been unconscious into the light of consciousness. Only then will I have the opportunity to change the relationship, and the course of my life.
Very few men, in fact, ever entirely separate from Mother. In the past, however, there was commonly at least enough separation to provide a reasonably healthy balance of power in human culture. Nowadays, the process of male growth is being aborted at very early stages, so that most males never seem to gain enough stature to meet women without being flattened by them. Nearly every male I know up to age 50 is totally bewildered and intimidated by females — including, apparently, the proprietor of [the forum]. I understand why, and certainly he’s far from alone. There’s no “blame”; but if we’re ever to get out of this situation, we have to start seeing it clearly.
I use the word “aborted” deliberately. There are many ways a woman may “choose” (however unconsciously) to abort the full development and maturity of a child in her care. As I’ve said, I believe that the infant male circumcision program was and remains a pivotal event in the history of our culture, which has by now aborted several generations of American men, all of us permanently, unconsciously terrified of females, and thus severely handicapped in our encounters with them. Very few American men can see women clearly: the Gorgon is as much a part of Woman as the Angel. Thus the Myth of Female Innocence, which allows women to literally get away with murder.
As I said, I never saw the forum under discussion, but what I’ve learned here about the course of events is not surprising. That the proprietor of [the forum], a supposedly “anti-feminist” forum, would put a woman in authority over a men’s discussion there, only demonstrates how successful feminism has been in completely reshaping our culture’s thought processes. No man before the late 19th century, at the earliest, would ever have done such a thing.
Healthy human cultures understand that males (boys and men) need places to go and meet and be active together that are free of the female domination that every boy experiences from the beginning of his life, and spends most of the rest of his life trying to escape. And that he must escape if he is to become a man capable of giving women what they really need. A human society made up solely of women and children (of whatever age) will not survive.
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