Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Bonecrker #56 - Giving Stuff to Women Leads to Unreasonable Behaviour

...the attitude of giving stuff to women is what opens the door to unreasonable behavior and expectations in the first place. It’s a form of brain washing. First, it’s expected that you give the woman a gift (or they’ll leave). Next, it has to be a good (defined by them based on the whim de jour) gift. Lastly, the standard for a “good” gift is made unreasonable. Not only is the standard of “good” gift set by her but she won’t tell you what it is and will judge you negatively if you get it wrong, or even ask her about it.

This is best handled by saying, well, what makes you think you are entitled to a gift AT ALL? I will decide if, and under what circumstances you get a gift and that gift’s nature. And, I could care less if you judge me negatively for it (very important). If you choose to leave over that, I WILL LET YOU GO (even more important).

Wrong attitude on men’s part opens the door wide to unreasonable behavior, judgement and expectations on women’s part.

If it was me, and the woman hinted that my gift sucked, I wouldn’t be trying to get better gifts by asking her what a good gift is. I’d be considering dumping her. Why? Because, there is no fixable problem here. The relationship is taking an inexorable path down the shitter BY HER CHOICE. Not mine. She has become presumptuous and greedy, not that I have become a lame gift giver.

You see, the big lie here is that the problem is what the man is doing or even the problem is something the man and the woman are doing together. If that was true, you simply fix the problem and live happily ever after. It just doesn’t work that way. No matter what you do, with her or by yourself, things will get worse and worse. The real problem is with her. She CHOOSES to be this way, so you have no power over her free will, other than to leave. Or better yet, say no to her, and do whatever the hell you were going to do anyway, until she chooses to leave.

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Further Reading:

Bonecrker #21 - Who Pays?

Bonecreker #27 - Gifts

Bonecrker #55 - Dates