Sunday, July 25, 2004

Pook #25 - Embrace Your Sexuality

To the Nice Guys, AFCs, Chumps, and Assorted Miscellaneous Confused Males:

Sirs: Let us have a little talk on the spirit of sexuality. This might trouble you, to be sure, it might anger others, which is most certain, but the stubborn fact remains that you cannot be successful with women ever until you embrace your sexuality. Yet until now, you were not interested in sexuality. Rather, you wanted to hear more philosophies, more tricks and tactics to be placed in your quiver of dating. It is as if you were to say: “Yes, yes, these guys that are getting girls are all very well and good. But what philosophies should we deploy to get the women? We purchase bits and pieces of philosophies on this site like we are in a Dating Wal-Mart. We, however, enjoy being the dorks we are and wish only for more philosophies to add to our arsenal.”

How blind you guys are! Now, I wish to ask you a question.

“Go ahead, Pook.”

Do you see that female over there? No, not the thin one. No, not the one with the long hair and curvaceous body. I am talking about the LARGE one in front of the Ho-hos. Yes, her hair is an absolute mess. She has no sense of style. She keeps many pets and spends extraordinary amounts of money on them. Personality? She is bitter. She enjoys philosophy just as you do. Why, she is going to become a feminist!

Is she a woman?

“Pook! Of course not! She is FEMALE, that can be proven. But do not call such a thing a woman!”

If she is not a woman, what is she?

“Hag.”
“*****.”
“Walrus.”
“Witch.”
“Titanic.”

Ah! She is an androgynous! Androgynous females do not look like girls or act like them. Three professors of mine, who I have talked to about their past and their regrets, told me they were clueless with women even though they knew everything about the Elizabethan Period, the History of the Supreme Court, and the philosophical ruminations in the 19th century. Despite that, they married the woman I described above despite how ‘brilliant’ they were.

Other guys BLOCK their sexuality by being NICE. “Sexuality is disrespectful and makes me look like a pig!” In the end, these nice guys end up being thought up as an @ss by women and treated as one.

If you want to AVOID this type of fate, read on.

Embrace Your Sexuality!

This guy has no problems talking to women except those he desires. The desire sabotages him and wrecks him completely. Listen! We can hear him!

“I feel so guilty.”
“This is like I don’t respect them!”
“This is painful.”
“I feel like I am using them.”
“I feel dirty doing this.”

Oh, poor guy! His problem is not the women but himself. Why is he feeling guilty? Why does he think he is being sinister? Look, we are going to see him ten years from now. Behold!

The guy is ten years older but still has no girl. He has a decent job, a decent life, but it seems meaningless without a girl. He becomes BITTER. He is ANGRY at life.

If only he could FIX whatever problem ten years earlier! How much joy and bliss would be in his life!

This guy’s life has been like the hard desert with painful arrows constantly peppering him from the blazing sun. He wanders aimless, seeing an oasis in that beautiful woman who only sees him as a friend. The beautiful women, the ones he wants, are like mirages. He thought they would finally end his painful wandering and lead him into that Promised Land of bliss. Oh if he could only find one! All the pains would end!

The key is not in finding this oasis, this woman, to end all your pains. The key is to realizing that the problem is not the women, not the situation, but himself and only himself.

Now he stands in the desert but lo and behold, a heavenly rain has cascaded from the sky. The dryness of loneliness, the ever constant thirst for affection, is quenched with the blissful rain.

What was the ONE THING that caused the rain that quenched his thirst and cooled the heat? It was to embrace his sexuality. If you cannot embrace your sexuality, you can never be a Don Juan, and you can never be happy in life.

Are you a guy? Take a look in the mirror. Chances are, if you are at this website wondering the hows and whys, then you are not a guy.

But I forget myself. Let me introduce my prop.

Thus enters Nerd Boy.

Why, hello, Nerd Boy! Look at you! Pocket protector and all! You have glasses and look like a drone. Your clothes don’t match. Heck, your clothes don’t even have any personality. You are so mental that you cannot grasp the ways of the flesh.

Just as you thought the fat chick was not a woman, women will not think this Nerd Boy is a guy. Why? He isn’t fully Human. It’s obvious he hasn’t had any contact with Womaniverse (which is sexuality itself). He will make excuses:

“I am very handsome” (which is true! A handsome drone is he!)
“I am a genius”
“I have a great job”

Oh, poor Nerd Boy! Women do not possess the faculties to see beauty as men do. Women do not care for your intellect (i.e. masculine chatter). The guy that woman is with may be ugly, may even be stupid, but he is absolutely sexual. Nerd Boy is blind to sexuality and, therefore, blind to life.

Sexuality Problem #1: Looks

Are you ugly? Are you beautiful? It doesn’t matter. Women do not see beauty; they see only sexuality. So how does a sexual male LOOK?

To put it bluntly, it is the bad@ss. This guy has the look of power be it a shaved head, leather coat, professional corporate suit, backwards cap, a well toned body, spiky hair, or whatever else. This person looks like a guy. He is not androgynous. He knows what his sexuality is and embraces it.

How is a guy supposed to look? To be male is to drive against Nature, to pierce her. He is not a pretty boy (though, this might get some girls too). It is almost a ‘rough’ look. A guy has a look of some masculinity about him.

How to Look Like Brad Pitt

No, I didn’t mistype that. One girl I knew saw Brad Pitt on TV and orgasmed. “He looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good, *sigh*.” But Brad Pitt’s effect has nothing to do about looks. Brad Pitt is a very symmetrical union of the two sexualities, male and female. He looks innocent but also as a bad@ss, sweet but rough, smooth yet rugged, elegant but strong. “Pook, this is a contradiction!” No, it is not.

It is well known that women like guys who have some feminine aspects (i.e. PRETTY BOYS). To get the ‘Brad Pitt effect’, you need to figure out where you are on the sexuality scale (though many males like NERD BOY aren’t on the scale at all!). If you’re a feminine male, you are probably thin, innocent, modest, shy, pretty boyish, curls for hair, large eyes, and have an almost aristocratic style about you. The masculine male is muscular, large, loud, motorcycle, has a goatee or shadow, and has a sporty or outdoorsman style to him. Now that you know where you are at, simply add in elements of the other. Some guys, when they go onto Manhood, carry a piece of adolescence with them. These are the guys that end up with the ‘Brad Pitt effect’ though you can make it your own.

Compare this to Nerd Boy. He looks at them and thinks how much ‘smarter’ he is. But is he smarter? No! They may not know their calculus, but they know their sexuality. When women flock to these guys, the Nerd Boy only stands there in awe.
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Sexuality Problem #2: Personality

Come here and talk to the lovely lady, Nerd Boy! “Hiiiiiiiiii. Hooooooow arrrrrrre youuuuuuu.” Creepy! “I will do anything for you, lovely lady!” I’m sure you will, Nerd Boy!

But when a guy has embraced his sexuality, he treats the women like they are children. “But Pook! That is not politically correct!” Foolio! This is sexuality which is above and beyond your petty philosophies and politics. Now where were we? Oh yes, he does not take women seriously. And why should he? He is a man after all. He has a sense of self. He is monad. He doesn’t need anyone to define himself.

But embracing one’s sexuality means enjoying it. You do not look at the woman as work or as a riddle to be solved. No, you go in and have FUN. You do not dwell on BORING subjects like Nerd Boy here does.

So what we end up with is a type of cocky and funny guy. DeAngelo covers this subject quite a bit. But you will never be cocky and funny by intentionally trying to be cocky and funny. You are not a chick putting up a façade. No, be a guy and so act like a guy.

Here, gentlemen, is a ballerina. She has just told you of all the things she does, how she dances, and everything like that. What is your response?

NERD BOY: “WOW! THAT IS REALLY INTERESTING! TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE FABRICS AND SPIFFY COLORS OF THE PAGEANT, THE DANCE MOVES, ETC.”

GUY: “You must have really strong legs.”

It is as simple as that! Some guys cannot control themselves and start being blatantly sexual to the poor women. This, of course, is unattractive to the ladies. This is not being rude or blatant. It is to realize that sexuality is not contained in the bed and is part of every interaction you have with the woman.

Look! She is touching you! This is good. Touch is sexual in itself. Kino is sign of interest. If you kino a girl too soon, it can backfire on you. You no longer remain a mystery to her. The game is up, she knows you want her. But if she thinks you are not interested in her and you want to say you are, you kino her. Kino is a form of ******** for, “I am interested in you.” When you kino the chick, the chick understands perfectly what you are saying. Kino is communication. Using it to create interest (which may not be there) rather then as communication will backfire. (However, failure to receive or initiate kino makes one sexually a mannequin. Know why? Because mannequins do not initiate kino!)

BAD: Hi, I’m FlirtyBoy! (Touch. Touch.) You look SO cute in that outfit! My goodness! You must get compliments all the time! (And FlirtyBoy continues to flirt.)

RIGHT: Hi, I’m Mr. Right. (Some small talk). What’s your number?

A guy does not flirt with chicks (unless he is working, thus captive, and has nothing else better to occupy his mind). A guy ASKS out the chick to show he’s interested.

Sexuality Problem #3: Dating

What to do! What to do! Poor Nerd Boy! He cannot invite the chick over to view his computer together. So he thinks, “What do males do to COURT the lady?” Dinner, of course!

Nerd Boy and his chick eat their meal.

But Nerd Boy, I am sorry to interrupt, how are you different from any other male? Look! There goes your woman, never to talk to you again! She said you were boring! Alas!

“But I gave her dinner! She ought to like me!”

But ANY guy can give her dinner. Can you give her dinner, Trash Heap Guy?

“Yes, Pook. I can buy her dinner.”

And what says you, Mr. Nice Guy?

“I can buy her dinner, also.”

And Mr. Sosuave? What about you?

“I also can buy her dinner.”

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. ANY male can buy her dinner. Heck, any FEMALE could buy her dinner.

“So what do you suggest, Pook?”

Action dates! Do not sit there, talking. She can do that with her girlfriends. Guys, on the other hand, are all about ACTION. Real men are not making dinner. They are swimming rivers and climbing mountains. Find something actionwise and get her involved.

“But Pook! I enjoy sitting in front of my computer all day and don’t like ‘action dates’.” Learn to like them. Look, are you even living? There are brilliant things out there to enjoy and do. What are you wasting your youth on? Sitting in front of the computer?

Sexuality Problem # 4: Love Shyness

Grab your white coats, gentlemen, and follow me.

Pook and the others go down the hall and turn to the left.

Ahh, now we are at the testing room. Behind the window is where we will experiment. They will not see us, gentlemen, for they will see only a mirror. Here, we can peek in on the outside world.

"But Dr. Pook, what is the experiment going to be?"

Patience, indeed! Let us begin.

A man was in the room and all was well. Then, all of a sudden, a GORGOUS woman enters the room. The man snuck glances. Soon, the woman got tired of this game and she came over to speak to him.

Focus, gentlemen! Watch how he responds!

"Uhhh ummmm errrr ooh ummm..."

Again!

"Errr ohhh ummmm dohh..."

Stop! Remove the woman! Quarantine the male. We cannot risk the possibility that his error is contageous.

"Yes, Dr. Pook."

"Right away, Dr. Pook."

"Anything you say, Dr. Pook."

Ahh... it is so nice when they do what you ask. Now, display the data on our subject.

The screen flashed up the male's brain map.

Good heavens! I was afraid of this. His entire frontal lobe is severely damaged. Gentlemen, to show you the extent of the damage this male labels as shyness, let us look at it through the woman's perspective.

"Not Womaniverse!"

Yes. OK, she walks into the room. She KNOWS the guy is checking her out. (Guys, the girls are more clever then you think. They WILL SPOT YOU if you check them out. If you like a chick, she will eventually know it.) So the chick decides to talk to the guy. And the guy didn't seem capable of conversation! Why, he just mumbled and bumbled about something. What did he say? It doesn't matter. Look at HOW he said it. He wasn't speaking, he was farting from his mouth!

Now, what was the woman thinking?

A gentleman peered at the data and looked up, stunned. "She thought he was brain damaged."

Exactly! And you know what, HE WAS. SHE is right here and HE is wrong. He knew something was wrong but he can't figure it out.

The problem is Descartes. Yes, 'ol Descartes thought that he could divide the mind and body with his philosophies. Descartes thought that human beings were composed of physical bodies and immaterial minds. That blasted Dutchman Spinoza disagreed. Why, to Spinoza, feeling was not opposed to reason. Rather, feeling was an accomplice. With Spinoza, mind and body are not two but one.

Some believe in a third way which is Freud. Freud believed that this young male's reaction was because of repression. I'm sure you've heard it before: 'that guy is going to turn into a playboy because he was sexually repressed!' But this is nonsense. We are humans, not caged animals.

It is impossible to turn off all emotions in rational descision making. A girl can be hot but what does that matter unless you mentally acknoledge it? Ever have a particular girl you kept thinking about? Lust is not just fleshy. Lust is both mental and fleshy.

The point is that Spinoza was right and Descartes was wrong.

"Pook, is there a purpose to this?"

There is and it is in that young male. When the beautiful woman came into his orbit, he tried to compartmentalize. A wave of emotion came over him. He fought against it rather than accepting it. And so, the result, is a guy that just stands there like a mark with a whole army shooting at him. Logic is to this universe as feeling/conversation is to Womaniverse. The woman thought, "Typical male!" and went off to find a WORTHIER recipient.

Do you want to get rid of your shyness? You’re going to have to open up and get out of your solitary shell. Sure, you can deploy ‘tactics’ and ‘maneuvers’ and turn women into a piece of mathematical equation. But in the end, you are still in your same shy philosophy-obsessed world. You just destroyed her and turned her into a part of a ‘philosophy’ to absorb.

Instead of dehumanizing the woman, why not humanize yourself?

Sexuality Problem #5: Lack of Experience

“No experience, no job! No job, no experience! It is like that with women!”

Oh, foolish lad! She doesn’t care if you are still running on VIRGIN or not. The only problem is that if YOU have a problem with it. Some guys worry about their experience, worry about stupid labels. “I am still a VIRGIN though!” So what? Despite what the movies portray, sex is not life. If you have a problem with it, it is guaranteed that SHE will. Stop worrying!

Sexuality is not a ‘philosophy’ to learn, it is more like a ‘dance’. Some males get it, others don’t. Do not demand philosophies of sexuality; you’ll only end up destroying it. And if you ask for a theory to create another ‘philosophy’ to be stacked in a bookish format to further continue your ego as A Great Thinker, consider yourself chained to this website forever.

Embrace your sexuality and embrace life!
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