Thursday, September 02, 2004

Pook #64 - The Keys to the Don Juan


Welcome to Don Juan.

There are THREE KEYS that unlock a series of locks that is Woman.

Key One: Her sexuality and YOURS shall be embraced.

You have acted thus far as nonsexual going so far to SUPPRESS your sexuality. Why does she choose the Jerk over the Nice Guy? It is not because she dislikes niceness. A woman would rather be with a male, no matter how tyrannical, over an androgynous, no matter how nice.

You have not been dating but making friends. You do not need twenty-five female friends. You are so non-sexual that you do not initiate contact. You do not TRY to talk to a woman that leads them aroused. Heaven forbid that a woman might think that you want to bang her! Your passive and cautious talking with them, your posture, the way how you don’t look at her since she might see the truth in your eyes- these are a few of the MANY WAYS you have been dodging not her sexuality BUT YOUR OWN.

Damn it, YOU ARE MALE! SHE IS FEMALE! Sexuality is God’s precious gift! It is Nature’s course! Why are you afraid? WHY!?

Key Two: Fun shall be the focus.

Why are you so serious? You are not to propose to her on the first date, fourth date, or eighth date. You are not to talk about your life story.

From sex to the very first meeting, the focus must be on fun. You must get this ‘soul-mate’, ‘true-love’, and pedestal worship out of your head. Not that these things are necessarily bad, they poison everything AT FIRST.

Fun is a powerful key. It is so powerful that female friends may become interested in you just solely because YOU ARE FUN. On dates, focus not on what will go wrong, not on what will go right, not on the outcome but on the game. Even if the girl ends up being a loser, you still win because you were focusing on the fun and not on the girl. (And those that focus on the girl lose focus on the fun and, thus, lose the girl).

Key Three: You are the PRIZE to be won.

Think “She wants to be with me,” rather than “I want to be with her”. Imagine girls are gravitating towards you in every way. Assume that she is interested in you. If she is not, assume that she will be.

This will keep you from being disrespected, keep you from falling for an UG, keep you from sacrificing your life to her, and keep the focus on her winning you. YOU are the GREAT CATCH!

But it is not arrogance. This key unleashes a pleasant cockiness. Combine this with the Fun Key, and you have both cockiness and humor.

These are the THREE OBSTACLES (the three locks) that most guys have trouble with. They defy the first key by acting like sexual androids. They defy the second key by being consumed with their feelings and, on dates, seeing HER as the fun rather than the date itself (and end up doing BORING dates like going to the movies, going to dinner, etc. where they should be doing ACTION dates like dancing, skating, bowling, rock climbing, etc.). They defy the third key by seeing the woman as the trophy, as the goal, and, by such, all their actions revolve around her as she is the focus and axis of their desires. Here we find gifts, poetry, chocolate, ten phone calls a day, and so on being thrown at the girl. He sees her as a goddess so she begins to think herself one. Then she DUMPS him and goes for the guy that treats her roughly (in hopes that HE will see her as a goddess).

Women have a series of locks. These three keys of Don Juan can unlock most if not all.

So dream no more, gentlemen. Dream no more! The night has passed. A dawn of new life is upon you. So wear not the past of dreadful woes. Let them go. And may you be full of joy and life.

And prepare yourself… for your dreams with women are about to come true.

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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Pook #63 - More On "You Must Be Gay"

DeepDish said,

Women having gay friends is like whites having black friends, something of which we can use to say we have a balanced set of friends. Also, gays tend to be very intelligent, well-spoken, well dressed, very sensitive and open with their emotions, and pay attention to details (e.g. listen). Giovanni Casanova once made a thread about gay guys having women strip in front of them all the time and even begging for sex. Giovanni was onto something. You don't have to be gay or have a lisp, but if you seem gay, as in having the listed traits associated with gays, and when confronted with "Are you gay?" give an ambiguous answer ("Well, am I?"), that can open up the world of women to you. Women who ask you "Are you gay?" are attracted to you and wonder why their feminity, which normally makes men cave, isn't enough for you.

I'm in that 'world' that gays get to be in with women. Yes, they have stripped for me and all. I just laugh at them. Stupid girls.

A big problem I have is wherever I go (like a class or work where I am there repeatedly), girls will begin thinking, "Pook is gay."

Yes, it can mean that you are dressing too nicely (sometimes I have my sexuality shined too far and must lower it. Sometimes I swing back to AFC style just to shake it off).

I like dressing nicely. I feel better and everyone takes me more seriously (and girls stare, mmm hmm). But when the gay thing comes up (and it does almost all the time now), I ask the girls playfully knowing the answer already (the one they won't admit to my face).

"Why do they keep thinking i'm gay?"

"Well... You do dress nice."

"What has that got to do with it? People dress nice all the time! Fine. Next time I'll come in with my worst clothes ever."

"No, then you'll be called a 'homeless gay'." (and she laughs and rubs Pook).

If girls ask if you are gay, remember the important thing: they are thinking of you in a sexual context. One of girls' favorite jokes is to tease a guy they like with another guy they like, pointing the two within a gay relationship. They just enjoy thinking about you in a sexual context. It is a victory.

One problem I have now are guys thinking I am gay. Have I crossed the line? Am I now a flaming Pook? No, when I talk to them personally they respond. You will get this from guys in high school who seem obsessed with gayness and so insecure of their own masculinity (since they are still just kids).

It's something I haven't seen talked much on this board: ENVY. The guys are envious. They hear the girls chatter, "He must be gay!" and think it seriously (because they want it to be true). They wish they were on these women's minds. They see how Pook has some special touch with the women, can talk to them with perfect ease, can play with them, etc. One guy's mouth fell open when a girl and I had a conversation completely in ******** (I've learned to speak it back to them!).

Truly gay guys start off in a denial about themselves and then date a whole bunch of women, sleep with them, to remove doubts about themselves. Alas, they realize they are not satisfied with women and admit they go for men.

Perhaps there is a way to turn the tables on these women. Next time I see a hot woman who is not interested in me, I will declare, "What! She doesn't want to have sex with me? She must be gay!"

And what can they say to that!

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Pook #62 - Secret to Womanese!

What is this alien realm called Womaniverse where all these strange creatures known as WOAH-MEN emerge from? They scatter about the Earth and cast Mankind in a Pleasure-Pain Paradox. Alas, the WHOA-MEN kept complaining and drove our ancestors so mad that they created civilization to please them. Seeing their failure (for women are forever complaining), it is no wonder that we die first.

But to top it off, these WOAH-MEN speak in a totally alien language!

"Oh MY GAAWWWWD! I just ate a HUUUUGE cheese burriiitOOOO! And the GUILT is just KILLING me!"
"I KNOW! I just lost control and ate not just that big chocolate cake in the fridge, but my chocolate chip ice cream too!"
"YES WAY! Oh, did you hear about Susan? She is SO depressed that the guy she went out with won't call her back."
"Yes. But I told her, 'hey girl, if a guy isn’t wanting to talk to a brainy chick like you, then he's stupid and shouldn't be thought about!' It made her feel better."
"Heather told me that she saw Susan's guy with ANOTHER GIRL!"
(both squeal in supreme shock)
"Oh, she is going to feel AWFUL when she finds out!"
"I KNOW! What can we do?"
"You know that guy you met yesterday?"
"The guy with the really cute butt and smile?"
"Girl... tell, tell!"
"Well I heard Heather tell me..."

And on and on it goes! The above is not a 'network', it is pure chaos. In fact...

Sosuave: I am sorry, Pook. I must interrupt this post.

What! But I just got started...

Sosuave:Several women are protesting your text. They wish to be heard.

Very well! Let them in.

The three women enter.

Now ladies, what is the matter?

"Monsieur Pook, you have our sex much offended."

Ladies, you have my sex much offended.

And the three said together, "Listen to our advice:

"The sexiest thing a man can do is listen."
"Remember, Pook, women are better communicators."
"Listen to what she is saying. Good communication is the key to a good relationship."

Such are the common answers! Men listen to what you say and nod and nod and nod and nod until they drop dead from boredom. Men do not listen to women because they often don't make any sense. ******** is not communication; it is madness.

Look over there! A group of women gather and enter in a conversation of ********. It looks like they are talking! Pook gets closer to overhear them. Hear that? It is like a conversation going super speed with high pitched octaves punctured with squeals. What alien language is this?

But, luckily, I have Pook Vision Goggles. It allows one to see how Womaniverse interacts in this realm.

BEFORE: The women seem to be having a conversation in an allegro style.

WITH POOK VISION: The women are not talking, but are feeling each other, rubbing against each other...

The Secret to ******** is that it is a passage of feelings (where with REAL language it is a passage of thought). Women do not listen to each other, they FEEL one another. They cheer one another up. See those phone lines that are on fire due to women getting home from dates and calling each other? Female gossip is female therapy. As soon as they walk out of class, they must call someone on their cell phone immediately.

We know men 'think' and women 'feel', but not in such a bizarre context. Everything a woman says will be 'feeling'. Women are always touching each other (just not in our universe). Feeling, feeling, feeling... that is the sum of ********.

In this universe, we view ******** as an almost type of Matrix code. But in Womaniverse, what is transmitted is not thought but feelings. You will not find women grouped together chatting about intellectual ruminations of Kant and Aristotle. No, they will either be talking about sex, food, or shopping, and often in that order.

If she says,

This guy came and STARED at me. It was creepy! He kept telling me how beautiful I was and how he wanted to go out with me!

Other guys think I am beautiful, lovely, and want to date me. Why don't you?

Learn to identify the FEELING coming from her. Don't even listen to her words, FEEL how she says it and why. With the above example, the feeling is guys finding her beautiful. As guys, we would think, "What a creepy guy!" or "Why are you not telling this to your girlfriends?" She is transmitting a FEELING, not a thought, and this FEELING is that guys find her beautiful. She wants you to know this because she wants YOU to ask her out!

Are you gay?

Why won't you go out with me or anyone?

As guys, we would think we are showing homo-physical characteristics. But what is the FEELING emerging from her? The feeling is sexuality, specifically relating to YOU. You have the GREEN LIGHT to go for the women, and you are not moving. She is asking you if you're gay because you are not acting like most guys (chomping at the bit).

I like dates when blah blah occurs...

Ask me out now!

Being guys, we absorb this as THOUGHTS. But she is putting out a FEELING to us. The FEELING is the feelings of dating. She has no interest in specifics. She is reveling in the feeling of dating because that is what she imagines you and her doing!

Next time you view a group of women, with no guys around, watch what happens. You will see the women feeling each other. They do this literally (putting lotion on each other, combing each other's hair, pampering one another) and communication-wise "I LOVE chocolate cake!" "I KNOW! It is SOOOO yummy!"

Feeling You

Women will always try to ‘feel’ you. Join me, youth, in the Pook Observation Room. I have set up hidden Pookish microphones and cameras to observe what happens when it comes to women.

The screen showed a guy at a job. The guy was busy doing what he needed to do. His only co-workers were women. They chatted as they worked.

Listen closer. The women are not chatting with him.

The women kept trying to ‘feel’ him. How did he talk about his future plans? What did he feel about this, about that?

You see, the women don’t really care what he is saying. They are trying to feel what he is saying, what he is like, so on and so on.

Or observe this example.

A youth and a Hot Babe sat down for dinner at a fabulous restaurant.

She is trying to ‘feel’ him.

The youth orders chicken salad.

Check out those scanners! Yes, she is thinking, “He is going to make lots of money.”

“Because he ordered chicken salad?”


The youth orders a fancy bizarre meal full of seaweed and other strange dishes.

Ahh! She thinks he is ‘kinky’ in many many ways!

The youth orders a simple meal.

She wonders if he is the type of guy who wants to stay home on nights.

The youth orders a chocolate mousse and offers to share it with her.

Ahh! He is SO SWEET! Now she won’t feel guilty about getting her own chocolate mousse.

“Pook, what are you saying? That we are what we eat?”

I’m saying that women will always try to ‘feel’ you. They will make conclusions that don’t even make sense. Even if you get food stuck in your beard, she will look at you and smile, feeling how ‘cute’ the entire situation is. Feeling, feeling, feeling, that is the sum of womenese!


When two guys talk, they don't really talk to each other. They are on to a subject and then they talk abstractly about the subject- the other guy might as well not even be there!

Take our issues with women...

"Dude! Women are crazy!"

"You got that right! You know what I think? Women must be completely society oriented."

"How so?"

"It is not like they really live. They just act out roles. They have been the 'daughter' role, the 'date' role, the 'girlfriend' role, the 'fiance' role, the 'wife' role, the 'mother' role, and the ultimate... the feminist role."

"So women don't really live? They just act out society's roles?"

"Yes, they just go about with the same dreams they've always had. The most disappointing thing a guy will realize is that a woman is with him not because she loves him..."

"Because according to this idea women won't be able to love..."

"Exactly. Not because she needs him, wants him, or any of that."

"So why?"

"Just to have something to talk about with her girlfriends. That is all. Even the most uncharismatic dull husband will give her material to deliver to her girlfriends. Whether or not he farts in bed, whether he sexes properly, so on and so on. Girl talk revolves around our manly actions."

Now, the two guys are speaking about an idea in all its abstractness. The goal is the truth, or whatever can be thought of as the truth. When women talk, they speak to each other with no abstractions. Their goal is to good feelings which is only achieved through psycho-analysis.

And this is the most annoying thing about dealing with women, is that they so readily admit to being able to psycho-analyze you. For example, when a woman reads this merry post, she will be fuming and secretly think, "Pook must be a misogynist!" I've phrased this post accordingly so they have such a reaction.

If I redid the intro this way:

What is this magical world known as Womaniverse where all these women come from? They scatter about the Earth and without them, Man would be stuck in the stone-age. Women are the engine of civilization, the settlements of the New World failed until women were added, and women are always the glue that keeps society together.

Now I am an advocate of women!
Let us say a guy got heartbroken by a girl. The girl suddenly likes the guy again. So she goes after him. The two go out. Yet, he says he does not want to get back together again, but she feels something differently from his eyes. When they depart, he gives her a friendly kiss and says they would make good friends. She feels something quite different in that kiss.

As soon as she gets home, she calls her friends and says, "His words said no but his actions said yes! What should I do?"

And the Woman's Network advises her to 'press on' and eventually the guy cracks and the two become a couple. See? ********'s psychoanalysis has its uses, often, though, it keeps girls detecting 'signs' that don't exist in the first place (which is why doing Anti-Dump's "number", "date", "yes" allows no confusion. She will KNOW you are interested and you get to weed her out).

******** and Shopping Carts

I am throwing this into the post for the heck of it. Come, gentlemen, join this hungry Pook on his trip to the supermarket.

Pook gets his cart and begins to go through the store.

Ahh, there is nothing like shopping for food. Pook loads his cart up with items. You may think it is boring, but there is something you do not know.

“Excuse me,” a woman said, as she drove her cart around Pook.

Did you catch that? No, you probably didn’t. She was looking into my shopping cart! Her eyes were glued to the things I had in my little buggy.

Look! There it is again. It could be old women, young women, single women, married women, they keep checking out what I have in my cart.

You say: “They are nosy women and must see what you are getting.”

No, gentleman, they are checking out my cart because they want me! Yes, even the shopping market can become an erotic experience.

You may wonder how I know this. Well, women check out guys in many ways. One thing, for sure, is that they try to see if a guy is single or not by what he puts in his shopping cart. If he has items like half a gallon of milk, microwavable meals, and in general, a small amount of stuff, women will assume he is a bachelor and perhaps make a move. Some women will psychoanalyze your life based on what you have in your shopping cart. (Some women, thinking men think like they do, will deliberately put things in their shopping cart to convey an impression, such as water bottles to represent their 'healthy lifestyle' without realizing that men don't even look at the items in shopping carts.)

What does this have to do with ********? Absolutely nothing. But this is the most appropriate place for it. So if you are shopping and see a woman spying on the items in your cart as she passes by, hey, she’s probably checking you out.

Feelingese: The Language of Women

******** is feeling and feeling is ********. It goes beyond language. In our universe, cleaning our apartment is seen as a chore done primarily for sanitation reasons and to get stuff out of our way. But in Womaniverse, women enjoy the 'feelings' they get from a clean room (or rather they hate the 'feelings' they get from an unclean room). To us, a painting is just there as a 'decoration'. But in Womaniverse, colors, paintings, and designs all emit waves of good feelings which women soak up like cats do sunlight.

Womenese is also ensemble. Yes, ******** OVERLAPS.

Examine this example:

To the pleasure of two ladies, they found themselves in the presence of a Pook, and thus, were attracted.

“Come ladies! Let us go about for a merry walk!”

*giggle giggle* “Oh Pook! Lead on!”

As the three of us walked, the ladies were in such a tropical state that they babbled and bubbled endlessly.

Eventually, the Pook began to speak.

“Tomorrow, ladies, we need to go to the Pook-Place to pick up the…”

And a lady-friend cuts Pook right off with:

"Oh, look at the pretty weather out today!"

Pook, being a normal guy, STOPS talking. The women look at him as if something is wrong.

Pook is thinking: How RUDE that chick was! The stupid chick must have a short attention span!

Whereas Pook’s lady-friends are thinking, What is wrong with Pook!? Why did he stop talking? So typical of guys! They all have a short communication span!

Since ******** is transmitting feelings rather then thoughts, they can be absorbed faster and easier than regular language. This means that ******** OVERLAPS. You could be saying something and a woman will express a fast feeling. She expects you to keep talking. In mixed genders, however, the conversation tends toward more male. Sometimes, like the above example shows, the women forget and go total ********.

When women speak, the feelings often overlap. Before they are finished with one feeling, another offers another. They lap up each others feelings. This is the ‘girliness’ that disgusts guys.

But I’m a brave Pook, and I attempted to participate in the all girl ******** fest.

I had to know my ******** both language wise and ensemble wise. I kept trying to FEEL everything she was emitting (it is another universe!). A guy overheard me, pointed to me, and went: "GAY! Pook is GAY! I KNEW IT!" haha. Try it out and see if you have similar results.

Solution to ********

It is helpful to know your ********. But speaking it back to them? No, you have to be female for that.

DeAngelo understands, but he never specified it. A girl would take his hand (her ******** is saying “I like you”) and he would say “Oh really?” when she took his hand.

If a women starts touching you, she is actually saying, “I like you.” You can smile, touch her back, or whatever. Get out of your mind all these hidden signals and look at women in the context of FEELINGS. She will try to FEEL you and throw FEELINGS at you.

If she compliments you, “Oh Pook! You are such a smart Pookish guy!” she is saying nothing. She is just throwing a feeling at you.

So why do most men fail when talking with women? It is because they are using words, not feelings. You do not ‘talk’ to chicks, you express feelings. Think of a baby. The baby doesn’t know what you are saying. The baby only cares about your tone of voice. You could say in a babyish voice, “Armageddon is going to fry us all today!” and the baby will smile in glee not because of the TONE but because of the FEELING the tone rides on.

So what solution is there to ********? Since ******** is the process of feelings, all you have to do is EMIT feelings. In other words, focus on the joy in YOURSELF and let it SEEP OUT. Stop dividing yourself from your emotions. If you’re happy, let yourself be happy. The women will smell it and love you.

The Nice Guy protests this post. “But I KEEP telling them my emotions! And look at where that has gotten me?”

Oh you pernicious emotional SLUT! Just as guys don’t exactly respect the women who just sleep with whomever and wherever (sluts!), women don’t exactly respect the guy who vomits his feelings to all the women all the time (emotional sluts, i.e. Nice Guy).

The Nice Guy kept trying to EXPRESS his emotions through our language. Flowers, poetry, declarations of love, and so on.

The player kept trying to CREATE INTEREST by doing things like kino, mirroring, eliciting values, and so on. He is just trying to get her to feel something and put a mirror to it, so it reflects to her. The player is providing mental masturbation in hopes she uses him as a boy toy for physical masturbation.

But the Don Juan is already full of joy and the emotions carry over to the women via ********.

Remember, what YOU feel, SHE feels. She will ALWAYS be trying to FEEL you.

If you feel frustrated, she feels frustrated.

If you feel despair, she feels despair.

If you feel happy, she feels happy.

If you feel playful, she feels playful.

If you feel horny, well… It has been shown that male lust turns women on.

This is why the focus must be on you. As you think, YOU shall become. But as you feel, so shall she feel. Women cannot love a wall, so they want to knock it down.

So connect! Get that feeling of joy in your world AND LET IT OUT. Let it live in your walk, let it live in your speech, let it live in your eyes. The sexiest thing a man can do is SMILE. But smile not with just your lips, smile with your eyes, smile in your walk, smile with your talk.

Live in fragments no longer! Throw your mental prison off! Connect your emotions and the world, your dreams to day, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either, will die!
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Monday, August 30, 2004

Pook #61 - Why Women Mention Other Men Even If They're Interested In You!

Real men do not analyze the woman. If she is single, and he wants her, he should go after her no matter what sign she displays.

But since we are talking about signs, we are entering the bizzarre realm of ********!

Bold will be the WHOA-man. Italics will the ******** Translator. Regular Text will be what Da pooky is saying.

NOTE: For the below to be true, the conversation must be one on one.

Second Note For the below to remain true, the 'examples' MUST be initiated by the WHOA-man.

Let us begin:

My boyfriend came and gave me this AWESOME gift. We're going to New York tomorrow.

It is quite possible that she wants you.

But beware! A girl talking about her boyfriend means, most importantly, that she is taken. However, she may want to be STOLEN.

"Stolen, Pook! What do you mean?"

Gentlemen, it is a fine fact that many woman will not dump one boyfriend until they have a grip on the next. These women would rather be with BOREfriend than to be single. She may very well wish to be stolen.

I love my boyfriend sooo much! Everything in life is so much better with my boyfriend! He makes me feel so warm and fuzzy!

Get away from her; she is vomitting her emotions.

When a woman tells you how she FEELS about the guy, she is either in love or you are low interest or both.

THIS is the crucial difference: when a woman informs you of the actions the boyfriend is taking, she is using social proof (trying to show you that she is in demand). When a woman informs you of her feelings, especially if those feelings are positive of the guy, then there is nothing going on between you.

"Why's that, Pook?"

This should be written in stone: When she does girl-talk, you become her girly-friend.

Girls do not girl-talk their romantic interests.

You should have seen this guy. He came up to me, took my hand, and said, "You are beautiful! Will you go out with me!?"

She wants you to know several things. 1) She is desired. 2) She is beatiful. She wants you to know these things because she wants you to ask her out.

Well said, ******** Translator!

I was placing the tapioca pudding back onto the shelf when I felt someone looking at me. I turned and saw this man checking me out! It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! You hear me? It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Man, it felt good. Oh, you have no idea how good it felt. It felt GOOD. REALLY good. Oh, you don't know how GOOD!"

Although the above is exaggerated [Understatement of the century-] the point is that the woman is flopping her emotions out. She is not interested. You are in Friend-Zone.

Hellish friend-zone! But the translator is right. The last example had the focus on the GUY and HIS actions. This example has the focus on the WOMAN and HER FEELINGS. You are being used as an emotional tampon here, beware.

My breasts are too big! It hurts my back. It gives me back problems.

It is quite possible she is thinking of you in a sexual way.

Unless you are a doctor, this is good news. [If you are a doctor, it is more money which is better news-] Women with large breasts are much more comfortable with discussing them (for the large breasts often become the center of attention with most guys). She is most likely aroused. If not, then with her course of current talk she soon will be.

I'm trying on new underwear and seeing how my butt looks! (she squeals in front of the mirror)

She wants you.

She wants you.

She is mentioning her butt (she wants you to notice it!), and she is mentioning her underwear (she is comfortable talking about it to you).

When a woman likes you, she will try to show off her body (and when a woman does not like you, she will try to hide her body). This example is the woman showing off her body through words.

Are you gay?

Well? ARE YOU?

If you really are fruity, you will be asked this. Other guys should have asked this to you if you really are fruity (and with threats to back it up).

But let us try this again.

Are you gay?

Why won't you go out with me (or anyone)?

If you happened to be handsome or really cute, girls will try to go out with you. If you say no (haha!), she will think to herself, "All these girls want to go out with him and he won't go out with any of them. What is wrong with him? IS HE GAY!?"

Girls wondering if you're gay can be the ultimate compliment. Think. They are already thinking of you in a sexual context. They want you to go out with them. When you don't, they ask the gay question.

(Remember, guys, when Adonis, the style master, got asked the "Are you gay?" question? Although gay guys can and do dress stylishly, the woman wants to know if you are gay or not BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU.)

Ahh, another ******** lesson is over with. Join us again next time on the same forum, same host, and same website.

Oh, and excellent job, translator!

Why, thank you Pook.

And remember guys, if you go 'sign reading', the best guide is your gut.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004

Pook #60 - Even More Womanese!

Again into infinity, a young man says,

“Oh, help me, great oracle called Sosuave! I have had a scenario with a WOAH-MAN. This happened then, that happened there, X followed Y, Z proceeded N, and R is the result!

“Does she like me?”

Looking for female interest is a course toward disaster. It places you under the master of Reaction rather than Action. However, how many AFCs don’t have a clue that chicks might actually lust after them? And how many have been blinded by their own vanity “Oooohhh, she is flirting” only to be sucked into a trap! Besides, most guys need to realize the world of sexuality out there. Every chick will do a Sexual Scan on you, almost robotic like, and most guys are found lacking.

Bold will be the WOAH-MAN. Regular text will be the translation. Italics will be La Pookeboo.

Someone called me. Was it you? Did you call me?

She wants you to ask for her phone number.

Blah blah, I like dates when blah blah occurs, blah blah…

She wants YOU to ask her out NOW.

It may seem she is girl talking you. However, chicks talk about dating and guys calling them when their mind is on dating. She’s telling you what she wants you to know.

She ‘accidentally’ bumps into you. OOOOPSS! She ‘accidentally’ runs into you. OOOPS!

She is flirting and trying to get your attention, you self absorbed dumba$$!

Don’t be shy! I’m not…


Loosen up pal! Have fun!

If she keeps on looking in your direction…

She IS looking at you.

She compliments you in any way.

She likes you.

You’ve impressed her.

She becomes more ANIMATED around you, starts dancing and stuff.

She *wants* you.

You look at her and she looks away.

She’s been caught! Now go talk to her.

She sits cross legged with her hand/wrist caught between her legs.

She would do you now if she could.

My boyfriend is so stupid! I can’t believe what he did yesterday! He…

She wants you to steal her from her BOREfriend.

This new guy I am dating makes me feel soooooooooooooooooo good. Oh, you don’t how goooooood he makes me feel!

She has no interest in you and is vomiting her feelings everywhere (gross!).

My boyfriend hurt my feelings… boo hoo….(sob)

Congratulations, you are officially an Emotional Tampon!

How can you tell if you are an emotional tampon, if she is vomiting her feelings, or if she wants you to steal her? It is simple. If her emotions are on herself, she is bleeding her feelings everywhere and making quite a mess. If the feelings are bad, she is using you as the emotional tampon. You are there for her to unload her feelings and get tossed aside. However, if the girl is projecting no feelings of herself and only tearing down her boyfriend, it is obvious what she intends.

You remind me of a guy I used to know…

She has been checking you out but doesn’t want you to think she is overly interested. With this comment, she is ‘covering up’.

Sometimes you might actually LOOK like a guy she knew. Either way, she is noticing your looks.

What do you do for fun?

Are you dating anyone? What is the story with you?

Interested chicks will ask you this because they want you to ask them out, and you haven’t done so yet. They are worried you are taken!

I ask this question to see if a chick had a boyfriend. Knowing her ********, she answered, “My boyfriend and I go out to…”

We could go on all day about ‘signs’ and such. Generally, look for this:

She becomes more animated. She starts smiling, prancing, spinning in circles, exaggerate body movements, talk in high octaves, and be EXCITED.

This is because YOU are around.

Her clothes will change. She is suddenly wearing NICER outfits and make-up.

Isn’t it obvious?


She deliberately wears high heeled shoes.

She intends to get f*cked tonight.

Women call high-heel shoes their f*ck shoes.

She seems disinterested. When talked to, she gets shy.

She likes you.

Women, like guys, get really shy around the person they like. They’ll even fake disinterest.

Her chair is facing a direction from you, but she has her legs up on her seat and has turned towards you.

You have her attention. A VERY good sign!

She looks at you and has a ‘deer in the headlights’ look.

She thinks you are *really* hot.

These chicks are in to your looks. Don’t get a big head and think they love your other qualities.

She ‘appears’ around you. This happens consistently.
She is displaying interest by proximity.

The more statuesque she becomes is bad. She will not smile, give one word answers, de-emphasize her body, move away, and generally be quieter.

“But Pook! She might be NERVOUS!” This is true, she might.

But how can you tell if she is merely using you or truly interested?

WATCH THE EYES! No, they are not those marvelous orbs on her chest. Not her face. Not her hair. WATCH THE EYES! A truly interested woman LOOKS at you. A woman who wants to USE you will have her eyes ELSEWARE, be it on the music, on other people, or anywhere except where they belong: on YOU.

Some other points:

When they like you, some girls try to be very calm and collected around you. “How does this differ than normally?” The difference is that they will hang on every word you say. They will pay 110% attention to YOU. When you leave the room, she WILL squeal in delight.

She wears clothes that exaggerate her ‘figure’. (This is fun to watch, when they think: “If I push my boobs in Pook’s face, I get the Pook!” Silly chicks!)

She tries to talk to you. Or she seems very very receptive to talking to you.

Beautiful women will simply look at your face. They will more likely stare. They will not display obvious signs of interest.

If a woman looks like she has worked to be attractive (make-up, tight clothes, etc.), it’s possible she is single. Once within a relationship, the girls tend to *relax* their wardrobe.

When the seasons change to Autumn and the weather begins to get colder, a taken chick automatically puts on a sweater or coat (you know how girls are when they get *so cold*). You can spot the single chicks because they will still be wearing flesh revealing clothes when her sisters are starting to warm up.

How Young Girls Love

This isn’t exactly ********, yet it is a fundamental spectrum of the elements of Womaniverse. Our Universe is composed of elements like hydrogen, carbon, silicon, etc. Womaniverse is composed of elements such as Irony, Contradiction, and Shopping. Our universe has the molecules enter a type of bonding (such as polar bonding) but Womaniverse has its elements linked by feelings. In our universe, energy is the ultimate resource that gives us all things. In Womaniverse, it is ‘love’ or, rather, marriage!

Marriage is the supreme mission of her life, where she expects to receive all things, and so most women aim as high as they can. First, they fall in love with an abstraction. It could be something as simple as a poster image. When they seek union with the abstraction, it turns into thin air. Then, she falls in love with actors or a boy band. She will hang these all throughout her room and turn it into a shrine. She cannot have union with these actors or boy band (as much as she tries) because they are too remote. So then she tries a relative of an actor, or people related with the bands. Again, she fails. Then she latches onto the guy all the girls talk about. It could be *that* guy in town, the son of a business owner, the CEO, the guy that struck big with money and fame. She will go for this guy, but the guy has his pick of the litter and it will not be her. So she wanders to the next guy lower on the totem pole found in Womaniverse, where women mark the available men. Lower and lower she will go until she comes to the clerk, the shopkeeper, or whatever left is male. Then, she marries.

Men love differently from women (a twist of the body and the man falls in love. He is forgetting that an entire woman is there!). Men love the illusion; it is a more pure love. Women don’t have time for such nonsense. They prefer the substance rather then illusion. She will love your dreams and passions only because it means you may better your present condition, not because you see yourself as the dream. She could care less about your intellectual philosophies… it is just masculine chatter to her. She wants to know about your education and job prospects. She would rather have you work in a job you hate to bring in more money then to work in a job you love and remain poor. This type of girl sees you only as a piece of livestock, like a mule, to be an umbrella of stability to place her nest on.

Why am I telling you this? Because guys do not want to know if girls like them or not (so they could ask them out). They want to know to inflate their own ego. This is chick thinking. And, in the end, the women won’t see you as you see yourself.

Listen to your gut. It will *feel* when a chick likes you because sexuality is the sixth sense.

For this lesson, we dwell into the strange realm of storytelling. This is a major difference with men and women.

MEN: “I am a hero.” He then might use a story as only a way to SUPPORT the statement.

WOMEN: “OK, let me tell you about the TIME when I heard a scream. I ran over to find out that it was a man that had fallen unconscious. I rushed and called for an ambulance. I gave him CPR and revived him to health.”

The woman makes no mention of her being a hero. Rather then saying ‘I am a hero’, she wastes our time and patience with a long strung story.

Sosuave’s note: Kinda like your LONG posts, eh Mr. Pook?

Hush you, Non-Interacting Site Being! I am illustrating women’s translations by translating women.

So when she goes: “When my parents left my sister, brother, and myself at home, they told me, ‘[HER NAME], YOU are in charge.’ They leave me in charge with of everyone else because they trust me. Blah blah blah”

I am mature.

Yes, she is wagging her tongue just to get the point out that she is mature. So instead of nodding and nodding until you fall asleep, pay attention to whatever POINT she is trying to get across.

Now if you want to get a point across to a chick, perhaps a chick misjudged a trait of you, you play the ******** back to them. If the chick is snobby or thinks you go for any chick, start telling a story that has obviously no point, no purpose, except that it involves women interested in you with you REJECTING them.

“Pook! This is madness!” No, it is ********. Do not BLURT things, it destroys mystery. Listen to guys who want to try to impress women. Now listen to guys who are Don Juans. The Don Juan will use stories rather then statements, even parables instead of declarations.


Even though we have the Internet and global communications networked from satellites that is superior to any other form of communication by Man, there exists another network that is faster, much richer in content, and women have been using it for centuries. It is the Girl’s Network.

If you ever need gossip, or an opinion on someone, just tap into the Girl’s Network and observe how it puts Google to shame. If you ever need to know whether someone is single or attached, hot or not, worthy personality or dud, just tap into the Girl’s Network. Here are some situations of the Girl’s Network in action.

Girl’s Network Working Against You

Ahh, there is a happy little guy skipping about in life. Then, across the room, he spots a WHOA-MAN. He asks her out, completely LIES about himself and everything, and all goes smoothly for a couple of months. Then, she finds out (they ALWAYS find out), she immediately gets on the Girl’s Network. She instantly blackballs the guy, sending the message to her friends and then her friends pass the message along. Soon, it is all over the Girl’s Network.

Our liar asks out another girl. Alas for him! She was tuned to the Girl’s Network and knows about HIM. So he goes for another girl. Again, the same story.

Or say a guy is engaged to a chick. All is good! Except for the thorny fact, the chick has girl friends and, thus, is tapped into the Girl’s Network. The guy is AFCish and dorky. However, he knows that they are ‘in love’ and nothing can stop that. But the Girl’s Network was invented to keep its female members from bad unions. The guy is scanned, analyzed to the umpteenth degree, and found a bad union for the girl. So, the girl who had been engaged to the guy for a year, broke it off.

The guy is enraged. “You broke up with me because your friends didn’t like me!?” No. It was the Network working against him, not the ‘friends’. The way how a guy views his friends is much different from a girl’s. Poor young male! He understands not the Network and so it nailed him.


Being a hungry Pook, I ate all the food in my Pook Place. So, to no surprise I had to go to the store to get more Pook food! In the store, I spotted a woman worker there glancing at me. Doesn’t matter, I noticed the Pook Meat was on sale. I looked up and saw another glance from another woman worker. I must have been an imaginative Pook to think something was up. Nevertheless, I approached the checkout line.

“Hi!” said the very friendly checker. As my precious little goods rode the little black belt to the happy bags, the checker and I chatted. I wondered how she could know so much about me. Then, I realized it. She used the Girl’s Network to send out spies throughout the store. Yes, girls will spy on you. Whether they reported all the information to HER or others, the point is that women are interconnected through the Network. When a Worthy Guy appears, the women will become spies and note information. Since I came into the store frequently alone, they thought there was a chance.

Social Proof

The ever mentioned Social Proof! But only a fool seeks a woman merely as a prop. Use the Girl’s Network and social proof comes naturally.

There stood I, the sleepy Pook, waiting for a class to begin. But! But there was a test in that class. Being who I was, I was, of course, naturally and diligently prepared… I was busy cramming.

Then appeared a marvelous beauty, dressed in classy clothes (Pook likes the classy gals!). I tried to focus on the words in my book, but her image kept intruding. I stole glances whenever I could. She just stood there, waiting. “Pook! You should have talked to her!” Foolios! I had a test to take!

Then flared in a model, walked briskly over on her long legs, stopped… and talked to Pook. She asked about the test and all of that. When she started talking to me, the other girl started to look at me with wonder. When the model friend left, I got up to go too. The other chick came over to talk to me and to not get me to go. But I place Pook’s life above any and all chicks, and I could not do badly on this test. So I said something to her and went on. I didn’t realize what had happened until later.

“But Pook! Why don’t you go for the model chick?” Gentlemen, she has been networked. Besides, she has too much emotional baggage. She was not a platonic friend, no, she was but a part of the network. Realizing the existence of the Girl’s Network, I wanted to tap into its power. When you’re in the Girl’s Network, chicks talking to you and such are no big deal. Other chicks will look on and wonder because access to the Girl’s Network is only reserved for certain guys, i.e. worthy guys.

Girlfriend Finders

This is my favorite use of the Girl’s Network. Women are emissaries of Nature and desire and seek out proper unions. If you are a good guy, a worthy guy, a man, then the Network will serve you well.

As I write this, a flock of chicks have in the back of their pretty little heads, “Pook needs a chick.” I did not ask them to do this. They just go, “What! You are single? Oh, this we must stop.” And they go off on their lives scouting for me. All women are matchmakers. Why not use that ability to our advantage? They try to create a ‘proper’ union (i.e. the couple must match). So my networked ladies are going off and intend to bring back a ‘very pretty’ chick with little to no baggage. Well, who am I to argue with that? If they want to bring back a gorgeous chick to me, let them!

No, I am not mistaken. Every woman has the tendency to self-implode. But take heed! These destructive paths in your chick CAN be averted helping you and your chick.

PROBLEM: You have arrived home and… there is no dinner on the table! What to do? What to do?

CLUELESS GUY: WHAT is for dinner?

PLAYER: Can I help you with dinner?

DON JUAN: Where would you like to go for dinner?

Oh, brilliant Don Juan! Like a pro, he diffused his chick and got her out of the house. A woman alone at home too long can become a bad thing. She is less likely to blow up in public.

PROBLEM: It is time to go out! Your lady has spent the last five hours getting dressed. When she emerges, she is wearing puke colored clothes that you hate. Your reaction?

CLUELESS: Are you wearing THAT?

PLAYER: Umm… You look good in brown.

DON JUAN: Whoa! Look at you!

Notice how the Don Juan did not tell her what he THOUGHT she wanted to hear, like the player? His remark will make her look at her dress again and, thus, notice the error.

PROBLEM: Uh oh! You arrive home and find your chick eating a giant box of ho-hos. Right before your eyes, she is growing fat! What is your reaction?

CLUELESS: Should you be eating that?

PLAYER: Hey, there is a lot of fruit in the refrigerator.

DON JUAN: Can I get a glass of wine with that?

Ahh, the Don Juan tries to get the chick to think classy. Clueless guy will just blow-up the chick by talking like that.

PROBLEM: You return after doing a round of errands. Alas! There is your chick! She just woke up, having done nothing all day, and is still in her bathrobe! Your response is?

CLUELESS: What did you DO all day?

PLAYER: I hope you didn’t overdo today.

DON JUAN: I’ve always loved you in that robe.

The Don Juan finds the good in everything! Go Don Juan!

PROBLEM: You are tired of your chick and require another chick. However, you do not want to lose this chick. What do you say to the new chick to get her in the type of diabolical relationship you’ve imagined?

CLUELESS: Yeah, I have girl. I’m looking for something different though.

PLAYER: Attached? No, it is a multi-LTR!

DON JUAN: Hey baby, you want to join the team?

Join the team! And what can they say to that?

PROBLEM: During sex, you suspect your chick is faking the orgasms. What is your next move?

CLUELESS: Hey, you aren’t faking are you?

PLAYER: (Looks to see if the chick’s nipples are hard, if the blood is at the surface of the skin, her body flushed with the right colors…)

DON JUAN: (Doesn’t care since he fakes orgasms himself.) How else is a Don Juan supposed to get some sleep?

Such work it is being a Don Juan! When you are a real Don Juan (and not a wannabe), you are the lust of all the chicks. You will be *busy* to satisfy their… interests.

PROBLEM: Your chick is seen with another guy! How do you play it?

CLUELESS: Hey! Are you flirting with him? What is going on here!?

PLAYER: Hmm! So what’s the story with him?

DON JUAN: Hey! You like Baseball? I have another ticket if you want to go!

A Don Juan interacts with everyone. The best way to ward off a threat is to befriend it. Whatever you do, do not act jealous.

PROBLEM: Alas! Your chick has IMPLODED! She is now hysterical, throwing things around, and her aim is rapidly getting more accurate! What do you say to save yourself?

CLUELESS: What are you so WORKED up about?

PLAYER: Could we BE overreacting?

DON JUAN: Let’s go shopping!

And the Don Juan saves the world from the imploding chick! Gentlemen, “let’s go shopping” are the three words every woman wants to hear.

There you have it, gentlemen! A small little guide to the INFINITE things that can make your chick implode. Byron says,

“Women hate everything which strips off the tinsel of sentiment, and they are right, or it would rob them of their weapons.”

Know your ******** and rob them of the confusion they are so quick to use on us!
Quote: Originally posted by Ice Cold

I still want to ask this, oh the mighty

Is it not a form of supplication to offer your monetary gifts to calm down a woman? Is it not devilish manipulation of the Don Juan by the woman who pretends to be upset?

Hi Ice Cold!

The ******** posts aren't meant to be *serious* posts as we know them =)

Imagine an ENRAGED woman. Then you go, "You seem sad. Let's go shopping!" and she changes 100%. Hahahaha.

What do girls do when they feel sad and alone? They go shopping. You're not buying her anything. The aim is to get her to stop being enraged.

It's a joke. One time a girl did get really unhappy so I tried out the magical three words, "Let's Go Shopping." hahaha, her face just BRIGHTENED. All we did was go around, look at stuff.

I don't completely understand woman's love for shopping, but it does turn their foul mood around! I'm not saying for guys to go shopping with girls or anything, I'm just putting that out there just as a last case scenario in case your girl IMPLODES. It is like your 'Avoid Female Meltdown' card, and its in glass to be used only in an emergency!
Hey guys, I'm glad you like this ******** post. There'll be another one.
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Saturday, August 28, 2004

Pook #59 - More Womanese!

Gentlemen, I have concluded that women desire THREE men. One is the man for her heart, another is the man for her words, and the third is the man in her arms!

Likewise, the cryptic code of ********, whose very utterance causes men to pace nervously and shakes the foundations of language, divides into three splinters: The first splinter are words she SAYS she has, the second are words she THINKS she has, and the third are words for why she ACTUALLY does it.

Therefore, we must look at ******** in these three ways. BOLD will be what the woman is saying. REGULAR TEXT will be what the Translator is saying. ITALICS will be what Da Pooky is saying.

Do you have a girlfriend?

You are CUTE! Are you on the market?

You are certainly attentive tonight!

Is sex ALL you think about?

Do you love me?

Watch me ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?

I did something you are NOT going to like.

We need to communicate better.

You need to agree with me more.

Smile, nod head, repeat.

I don’t want to ruin our friendship!

Let me continue to tell you about all the guys I’m sleeping with.

WOMEN are the reason why Nice Guys can’t get laid.

I want HONESTY. No games!

Tell me what I want to hear.

I would rather focus on my career.

Focusing on something as boring and dull as her career is MORE FULFILLING than you’ll ever be.

Do what you want.

You’ll pay for it later.

I don’t remember how much it costs.

I’ll never tell you it cost a fortune.

Let’s paint the room!

You paint the room, I’m going shopping. Oh, and don’t make a mess.

Uh huh

Oh, did you say something? Whatever it was, it must not have been important.

No, take out is fine for dinner.

You cheap bastard!

I want a stable future.

I need to marry a sugar daddy!

You wouldn’t understand.

I don’t even understand, but I’m not going to tell you that.

Hell, we ALL don’t understand.

My screen name is JennySmalt

I have nothing to hide. There is nothing exciting about me.

My screen name is DoItToMeNow6969696969

If you need this explained, you aren’t a guy.

OK Mr. AFC. Since you cannot get this (and thus have no chance of becoming a guy), is your home.

So why did you and your ex break up?

What is wrong with you?

Because I was Mr. NiceGuy who skipped around in fantasy land and… No, don’t tell her. Say “I dunno!”

This guy was STARING at me today. He then came over and asked me out…

She wants YOU to ask her out RIGHT NOW!

It seems she is talking about other guys, but she is actually trying to convey that she is beautiful and desirable. She wants you to see that because she wants you to ask her out NOW.

What do you think of [insert girl’s name]? What do you think about that girl [insert another girl’s name?

Do I have competition?

I don’t want a boyfriend now.

I don’t want YOU as my boyfriend.

EVERY woman is on a lookout for a man. It’s a life purpose.

I don’t know. What do YOU want to do?

I can’t BELIEVE you have nothing planned.

No, you are absolutely dead in the water. Congratulations, flotsam!

I’m picky!

There are no dating prospects here!

I’m VERY picky!

I’m a religious virgin girl, still under the umbrella of her parents, and demand perfection.

Can we say ‘unrealistic expectations’?

Maybe [insert old woman] thought you were hot!

You are what is hot.

Women are not direct. They project their thoughts through a prop. In this case, the old lady is the prop.

Come here!

My puppy dog does this too!

And her attention scraps are “Nice Guy Chow”.

This apartment is SO inconvenient!

I want a new apartment.

And I want a new girlfriend!

I want new furniture.

I want new furniture, carpeting, curtains, wallpaper…

I heard a noise!

I noticed you were asleep.

Be careful she doesn’t take your covers when she gets back!

I’ll be ready in a minute.

Sit back, kick off the shoes, and find a good show.

My ex…

I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend.


I like you, but…

I don’t like you.

It is a ‘Girl’s Night’ tonight!

We’re going to get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

And how does this differ from any other night of the week?

It’s OK

It’s NOT OK.

YOU’RE not OK.

I need space.

…without YOU in it.


This is important.

When is it NOT important?

Nothing is wrong.

Everything is wrong.

YOU are what’s wrong.

I DON’T want to talk about it!

I’m still building evidence against you!

The volcano is building, ready to erupt with rhetorical smoke and vomit lava-like lies. Flee!

I’m an artist!

I’m unreliable!

And I’m poor.

I’m affectionate!

I’m possessive!

And you’ll always be seen as cheating!

I’m an adventurer.

I’ve had more lovers than you can imagine.

And you get the baggage of her past!

I’m seeking friends first.

I’m trying to live down my reputation as a slut.

See the ‘adventurer’ translation

I’m mature.

I won’t let you treat me like a farm animal in bed like my last boyfriend.


I’m open-minded and outgoing.

I am desperate and loud.

She’s a NICE GIRL. Hah!

Are you GAY?

Why won’t you go out with me or anyone?

The highest compliment a man can receive. All women are interested in you, and YOU get to pick.

Yet, translating ******** IS NOT ENOUGH. We must be able to speak it back.

Speaking the ********

For this, BOLD will be what YOU say. Italics will be what is ACTUALLY said while regular text will be the narration.

For example, if an UG is chasing you, say:

I am not looking for a relationship right now.

…which means…

I am not looking for a relationship WITH YOU!

She will get the hint and drop off her pursuit.

If she is persists,

I think of you as a sister!


I find sex with you as revolting as incest.

Just change the phrasing and you can deliver the ******** straight back at them. But be warned, if you say:

I am not looking for a girlfriend.

…which means…

I do not want YOU as my girlfriend.

Women will realize that you are subtly rejecting them and they will all gang together and try to break you (provided you are attractive. You are doing the rest of the Don Juan stuff, right?). Men would just be sad and go on. But women understand their own language and accept that as a challenge.

If you are a player, you do not say, “I am a player.” No, you say:

I like to meet new people and explore the adventures of life.

Translated into ********, this means…

I like to date/sleep with many since it is part of the fun of life!

See how it works?

I think you should just embrace the pleasures that life has.

You should embrace your passion with ME.

One chick kept going after me, and I ignored her (haha). A dork came and talked to us and left. So I said,

Maybe he thought you were hot!

…which means…

You are what is hot.

Her exact reply: “Why thank you, Pook!” (This is not a joke. ******** is a real language and they do speak it. For fun, try speaking it back to them!)

Ahh, another ******** lesson over. A job well done, Mr. Translator.

You’re welcome, Pook.

And remember that the best guide is your GUT!
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Friday, August 27, 2004

Pook #58 - Womanese!

It's no surprise that woman speak in another language. They are subtle creatures, sneaky, devious, and say things in code.

It's time for men to break the code of ********!

For your reading pleasure, bold will be the woman. Normal text will be the explanation. Italics will be what the Pook man is saying.

I'm not looking for a relationship right now.

TRANSLATED: I don't want a relationship WITH YOU. Don't even BOTHER trying to go out with me since I am saying that a relationship with you and me is already not going to happen.

POOK-MAN SAYS: I was nearby when a woman was giving this 'veiled' rejection to a co-worker. I jumped in, "So if you're not looking for a relationship, then all you're looking for is SEX, is that it?" Her mouth dropped, but I continued. "I don't BELIEVE you women! That's the ONLY thing you have on your minds is SEX, SEX, and MORE SEX! I am looking for a loving relationship, but NO, you women only want passionate raw animal sex! Now with me, I find you need to TASTE the other pleasures in life. So you CAN get your mind off of sex, right?" Her eyes were GLOWING at me. Funny, she suddenly wanted a relationship with me. Hah!

I don't think of you in 'that' way.

My goodness, are you ugly and a sexual dud!

I think of you as a brother!


You remind me of my brother!

I would consider sex with you to be incest.

The kids were bad today.

Obviously, your genes are defective!

We were both wrong.

But you were more wrong!

This recipe didn't turn out how I expected.

I burned dinner.

Try and complain. I DARE you.

You don't listen to me!

You don't listen to me!

Honey, I HATE to interrupt...

As if you were doing anything more important.

Have you had time to...

Stop what you're doing, get up, and do it RIGHT NOW!

When you get a chance...

Do this immediately!

I hate to nag but...

I want you to get off the couch now!

Of course I don't mind paying for myself.

Cheap date!

Let's not rush things.

I have other prospects.

I'm not ready to settle down.

I sure as heck don't want to settle down with YOU!

I enjoy the single life!

I enjoy not being with YOU!

I need more space!

You're becoming undesirable and unattractive.

This is when you WALK AWAY/

I'm focusing on my 'career'.

My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting then you'll ever be.

Let's just give it some time.

You're not high on my rating list. You're good insurance policy if a better prospect doesn't show up.

I like you, but...

I don't like you at all.

You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type of guy I'd marry!

You're sexually a dud. You're not fun to be with. But you are... 'nice'.

A friend of mine responded to this line with, "And you're not the type of girl I'd marry, but you would be the type for a one night stand!

Let's Just Be Friends

You'll never see me naked! I'm not attracted to you.

Pook Man then says, "No, I have enough friends. Buh-Bye!"

I don't want to ruin our friendship.

Please continue to remain my girly friend. You make an excellent emotional tampon!

Honesty is very important to me.

Only tell me what I want to hear.

I only like you as a friend.

I'm not attracted to you.

"And I only see you as a flaming $lut w-hore!"

You're so manly.

Shave, bathe, discover a thing called S-O-A-P.

Let me check my schedule to see if I'm doing anything.

I have plans. WE do not.

We need...

I want...

Can you call me back? I need to...

I just need an excuse to get off the phone. I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I LIED BLATANTLY TO YOUR FACE. Oh, and have a nice day!

How about you give me YOUR number.

I'll add it to my trophy collection of guy's phone numbers - pathetic guys who want me but I don't want them!

Call her BS. "You just want to add it to your trophy collection of guy's phone numbers who..."

I'm not upset...

I'm upset.

She's upset.

Be romantic and turn out the lights.

I'm not proud of my body.

Do you love me?

I'm going to ask you for something expensive...

Am I fat?

Please tell me I'm beautiful.

I love men who take charge...

Pay the bill, you chump!

Sure, but I hope you're not disappointed.

I'm flat chested.

I'm not that type of girl.

Keep trying.

Keep trying.

Don't touch me there!

Touch me there, but I'll stop you a few times first.

Heavy resistance is bad. Light resistance is normal. Woman WANT you to go for them. All woman WANT to be taken.

Will you respect me in the morning?

You won't tell your friends, right?

I'm not looking for anyone.

I'm not looking for anyone LIKE YOU.

We need to talk...

I need to complain!

Nod head, go 'uh huh', smile, repeat.

I need to think about it.

No way.

We have an off and on relationship.

I kept him around until someone BETTER shows up.

Where is this going?

Are we getting married?





Let me think about it


I feel like I've known you my entire life!

Bingo! We have a Bingo! Will someone make sure this prize does not get away from me?



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Thursday, August 26, 2004

Pook #57 - The Difference Between Dating and a Friendship

Long long ago, before I found this website and all, I did have female friends. Currently, I have no female friends as female friends seem to be an impossibility for me now.

Every girl I *try* to be friends with wants to date me, screw me, etc. But what about girls who already have a guy, including wives and girlfriends? Same story.

"Do not brag, Mr. Pook! You have the opposite of the AFC problem."

No, it is something else entirely. Men and women view love and relationships very differently.

Husbands, steady boyfriends, and chivalrous males hate me because I am free. I don't have to go to the girlfriend's house and to keep her company because she "feels alone". I don't have to go see her stupid family, engage whatever rituals she comes up with. I can leave my place when I desire, return when I desire, meet anyone I wish, do anything I please. Many of these males, I suspect, married very young and never fulfilled their adventure of life.

Since I have so much more available time (since I'm not spending it all on a fiance or wife's incessant desires), I am investing it in myself. I'm not better than these guys, but I end up wittier, fitter, more worldly, because of this additional time. Since I'm more of a 'developed male', so to say, perhaps they have more interest?

One thing is for sure, women do NOT see dating as 'friendship with sex'. Behind that pleasant baby-like face march the thoughts she has had for her entire life. Your role, as a 'man', is to work for her your entire life. Ask older men, married and divorced, for verification if you're skeptical. This is why women will see your material goods and ambitions, never your intellect, your interest in discovery, the universe, etc.

I would say the biggest difference between friendship and dating is addiction.

"Did he say addiction?" Yes, he did. Friendship carries on due to similiar interests, having fun, and so on. Dating/marriage occurs and ensues due to addiction. Some guys suspect that it is sex that the guys are addicted to. This misses the mark. We have been so conditioned to find females in our presence normal, that when they are not there, it becomes abnormal. As has been observed, older married couples don't have sex. So how does the couple keep working? Addiction. This addiction is the addiction of female praise. Even old men will do what they can to please their wives, even when it brings great discomfort to themselves. Some men have become so conditioned that even if the wife does not praise, he takes that as displeasure and immediately starts "doing things" to obtain back the praise. There is a reason why in old couples, if the wife dies first, the man either remarries or dies.

Males have become more religious than ever before. The religion? Romance. The deity? Their self-picked goddess, a young woman. "I will do ANYTHING for women!" the men say. They will easily buy houses that will take them 30 years to pay off just for them. He won't admit how stupid his woman actually is, so that 'stupidity' turns into divinity. He believes his woman is capable of great emotions and abilities because he projects his own emotions and sense of self onto his woman. Woman is shrouded in more mysticism and pomp than any king or pope.

"What! Blasphemy! Blasphemy! Burn the Pook! Burn the Pook!"

Just answer this question: Who is the deity of the DJ Bible? "Why, the Don Juan!" Are you sure? Think long and hard.
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Pook #56 - Talking to Girls

Don't compliment unless it's something you are genuinely impressed by (authenticity is the key).

Everyone likes to feel unique and special in their own way. Show interest in HER and her life. Believe me, she will make your ears bleed. (this will come off naturally since you are already interested in her, therefore interested in what she does, etc.) While you are finding out everything about her, YOU have remained a mystery since you're not trying to 'sell' yourself. The chick will love someone asking about herself (thus validating in her eyes that she's 'special') AND her interest in you will grow because she wants to know more about you. Not bad for letting your ears bleed, eh? Also, the more information you get, the better and more precise you can take the next step with a higher probility of success.

DON'T be sweet. LISTEN to her and add in your thoughts (don't try to FIX her problems, UNDERSTAND them). When a trait or feeling comes up that you agree with, don't hesitate to tell her. She will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest level will rise.

If she ever makes you mad, tell her EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE MAD. Amazingly, girls LOVE IT when guys will ***** at them because girls want HONESTY and DIRECTNESS. Many girls will put up a 'test' of standing you up just to see if you will swallow it like a 'nice guy' or if you will have the STRENGTH to put them in their place (Women are not attracted to guys they can control).

Humour is always good. Always be lightspirited, warm, and humourous. But when she is talking to you seriously, always listen and UNDERSTAND how she feels.

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Pook #55 - "SS is AFC"

This is EXCELLENT! xblitz44x, I want to use your post to illustrate a point.

DISCLAIMER: One can learn a lot with speed seduction. You can learn how to be more at ease with talking to them (since women are more comfortable with talking about feelings then anything intellectual), and good to give a starting point of 'how-tos' when you deal with women.

That said, my issue with SS has always been the SPIRIT of SS: that it destroys the Man within to turn you into a Metamorph to fit the woman's lust. (Yet, SS has the vanity to think that it is altering the woman!)

"So everytime she moves, you move. Try to mirror her breath frequency and depth."

Your body behavior has become reactive.

"a conversation, try to use these words as much as you can, so that her sub-conscious will pick up on it and realize that they must be important to you too. But repeating these words back to her, she will think that you sincerely understand her and can relate to what she is talking about."

Your vocabulary has become reactive.

The most important part of seduction IMO, is demonstrating your value. If you approach a woman, and she blows you off, or if she never returns your calls, or if she turns you down for a date, you have not shown her the VALUE that you can provide to her.

This is true in that you are THE PRIZE TO BE WON and that she is after to CATCH YOU.

But notice that with this you now cease to be Man and become reactive of values based on WOMAN'S RESPONSE. Gone is integrity! You want to create the 'values' that WORKS toward her lust. Thus, the manner of these 'values' are all going to react to her lust.

When you are Eliciting Values, you are finding out what is important to her, what SHE values, transforming into a man that can give her that, and finally providing her with it.

No longer are you a Man! Now you are a Shifter! You are bending yourself towards what she wants. (This is the Average Frustrated Chump that ceases to be frustrated. Notice that he is still a chump.)

Now, if you were merely to pick out common things she said and leap on those to build a common ground, that would be one thing (which is called 'good conversation skills'). But the entire SPIRIT of this SS is based entirely in HER eyes, how SHE must see you, how SHE must percieve you.

From this conversation, I've discovered that she likes to feel a little in danger. She loves the excitment of living on the edge. From this you should TRANSFORM yourself into a man that can provide her with these feelings that SHE VALUES!

Not only are you to TRANSFORM yourself, you are to PROVIDE HER those feelings she LUSTS for. This is the Social Dildo who's social behavior is geared only toward tapping female lust (which itself is fine but triggering her lust TRUMPS your own values. You are to be transformed).

Most women believe they are living their own fairytale and are searching for the male star. In order to become that male star, you must bring it to her attention that you two have a lot of things in common and it is amazing to connect with somebody on such a level.

To become that male star! Now you live for HER fantasy!

After you've done this a few times, say something along the lines of:

"Can you remember what it felt like when you were in front of somebody that you maybe just recently met, but it feels like you've known this person for ever? You feel yourself start to relax, and open up to him because it seems so natural, as if we connect on some deeper level? With me, I don't think it can be forced, but when it does happen, it feels amazing"

First, your body behavior became reactive. Then your vocabulary. Then your values and character. Now your speech is to sound like a banquet of fluffy words all arranged to reflect her own lust back to her.

If you want her to feel horney, you could say something like this:

"My brother just called me, he just lost his virginity this weekend and he was asking me for tips. Remember back when you were younger, and you had this one lover that could always do things to your body that would send tingles dancing down your spine, and could cause butterflies to tickle your belly. This person would penetrate you with his thoughts and just his presence along caused tingles to run down your arms, to the ends of your finger tips."

If all goes well, she will feel the tingles as I describe them. She has to feel them now to compare them to see if she's ever felt them in the past.

Now you are talking like a girl! Anyone who is around women consistantly know that all they talk about is sex, sex, and everything surrounding sex.

Getting phone numbers is emphasized WAY too much on this board. As great as it feels to get phone numbers, rarely does it ever pan out into a fvck.

Because this board is not a satellite of speed seduction; there are countless boards and discussion areas for that.

Women love to fvck. This is 100% true. Women love to fvck just as much as men do.

I would say that women love to 'fvck' MORE than men. In fact, women's entire consciousness revolves around the axis of sexuality.

However, to prevent themselves from feeling like a slut, you must create a real or superficial relationship with her INSIDE OF HER MIND before she'll fvck you.

Have I not said that women are entirely sexual BY DEFAULT and their concern is not that they are sexual but on how EVERYONE ELSE percieves it?

Did I not say that Speed Seduction absolutely does NOTHING to truly 'seduce' her but only bring down the social/reputation dam that keeps women's sexuality from flooding everything and anyone? Here is the confirmation.

Women will have sex left and right but that fear of 'slut' behavior stops them and frustrates them.

In other words, women hate virtue and will despise purity. Thus, there are no true 'innocent' girls.

She'll fvck you if you show her it's ok to do so.

Well well! She will do you (or anyone with a 'value') as long as you show her its 'ok'! What is romance to a woman but license to act all the things she wants?

So here lies a mystery. SS pats its own shoulder by saying, "With this knowledge you will influence and alter women's behavior." Yet, it is admitted that women WILL have sex very freely as long as that frame of mind (slut fear) is in place and so you must tear that down (which only we can because MEN create the boundaries of society).

So why does SS believe that it is altering women when it is merely showing them that it is all 'ok'?

My answer: vanity. Men want to believe they are sex gods that flip women to them like cards. But as we see, it is women who are ultimately in control with SS. The SSer takes the reactive position.

Now what has the Man become after all this? He is reacting to how her body behavior, to her speech, to her vocabulary, to her values, to her dreams, and so on. Has he not merely become a boy-toy? I mean, what more CAN he be!?

Now, if I made any mistakes in the above, do tell me. Error or vanity has never been my objective.

Just as hard as it was to face the truth of our past AFC/Nice Guyness, so shall seeing the underpinning of SS take similiar courage.

Now, I have one more question. If SS is truly reacting and 'transforming' one's self to the woman and her dreams...

Is the SSer truly making love to her or is she merely masturbating herself using him as the physical object? After all, he uses her vocabulary, has her values, acts like she does, and talks like a woman.

Is this the essence of Speed Seduction?

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Monday, August 23, 2004

Pook #54 - Securities vs. Mistakes

There I am, minding my own business on my computer, when a message pops up to scream,

"W00t! Eh git da Pook! Tale me, Puke, whut cun eh dew ta git da woa-men?"

And then appears one of the following lines:
"How do I approach?"
"What do I say?"
"How do you call her?"
"How do I get laid easier?"
"Where do I meet the girls?"
"How do I increase my testosterone?"
"Tell me how to be a Man."
"What cologne should I put on?"
"Which are the clothes that women like?"
"Should I walk with swagger or not?"
"Facial hair or not?"
"Should I use more action verbs in my speech?"
"What sexual position should I use?"
"What date should I do?"
"Should I be ambitious, artistic, or just domineering?"

Gentlemen, if I attempt to answer your every request, I shall be here until Doomsday. You come onto the forum and think, "If I obtain this information, my future with women shall be changed."

This is a bald-faced lie.

Your future is the same. It is only your past that keeps changing.

Nice Guy, Seducer, Cocky Guy- what does it matter? You’re looking for guarantees. Then you change your past (“I lost to the women because I was sheepish and not cocky enough”). Maybe you have different results. But then it goes back to the way it was. And you search for more information. And then you change your past again (“oh, I lost to the women because I lacked testosterone within me”). Maybe you have different results. But then it goes back to the way it was. And you search for something else...

On and on it goes. So excuse me for not giving you a traditional answer. Let me answer you in another way.

It is to know the difference between a security and a mistake.


What is a 'security'? It is a calculus of action. It is a planned way of thought, of movement, of talk, and of love. For example, anchoring conversation with "notice something about her” is a 'security'. It implies that if you talk about a necklace or something she is wearing, your odds for 'winning' are better. Here is another 'security'. "A cool fast car!" Since it is observed that women like the cool fast cars, guys will get them because they believe it boosts their chances of getting the girl.

All seduction techniques are 'securities'. All NLP is a 'security'. The entire idea is to boost your chances of getting the girl.

Self-improvement is readily a good thing. But a very big problem (or should I say cancer?) occurs when self-improvement becomes a 'security'. The idea that improving yourself, in this or that way, will boost your chances. But the problem is that it never stops. Go into a gym and you will find many single guys working out. They will remain there because they always think they have to be perfect to get the ladies! Watch television and you will see ads implying that if you wear this shampoo, you will have this social life, eat this brand of rice, and your romantic life will look like this, on and on and on. Use this product and you will be "perfect" it implies. Well, perfect is boring.

Take a young man asking some guy on the internet where should he go for the date? What should he eat? What should he wear? Which restaurant should he go to? What should he talk about? (And yes, he even asks) What sexual position should I use? Should I kiss her here or there?

He thinks, Eh em ubtaining all dis infoormadion! W00t! Luk dat mee!

But I'm shaking my head thinking, My goodness! This guy is letting a stranger from the internet define his love life! He doesn't know where he wants to go, what he wants to eat, what to talk about, or what to wear.

Women will look at such a guy with the same attitude.

A 'security' is an act or thought that makes you eliminate mistakes. It is one thing to foresee mistakes (after all, you can't just marry any girl), but it is disaster to life to deny them. You want misery in your life? Keep sucking up 'securities' to mold and sculpt your life.


I cannot speak for others, but I will tell you the BIG reason why I became successful with women. I was willing to lose girls when I had no girls, and I was willing to spend the time when I had no time.

What does this mean Willing to lose girls when I had no girls?

Let me use a money analogy. Let us say you were born poor. Most people remain poor because they cling so tightly to the pennies they have that they won’t risk losing it in any investment. So they not only lose out with the big money, they remain with pennies their entire life.

Now look at many men. Many guys remain single or in an LTR with a mediocre girl because they cling so tightly to the one girl in their worlds that they won’t risk or go back to singledom. (Most girls stay with a mediocre male precisely because of this reason). It is like an ant saying to another, “Don’t eat that leaf else we starve!” forgetting that they are in a bountiful forest.

When one love dies, another is reborn. Nature will not tolerate a vacuum. Single guys will have women thrown at them, provided they aren’t living life in securities. If you tiptoe with women, you cannot stand! You flop and fall over if you get out of balance. And that is what it is like living a life of securities… I know, I did it far too long. It is like walking a tight beam and ‘balancing’ against every gust and breeze. It is exhausting. This is why many following this path want to give up on women because it seems like ‘so much work’.

If you don’t have money, how can you be scared of losing money? And if you don’t have women, how can you be scared of losing them? It is like you’re fighting for the scraps, literally SCRAPS, of joy while your dreams sit on the table, rotting and growing cold with time.

And what does it mean to spend time when I had no time?

Most people don’t live in the present. They live in the ‘future’. They say, “Tomorrow! All my dreams will occur tomorrow!” Never does the person say, “Today!” So time passes and passes.

I will bet that most guys here, who are sincerely interested in getting better with women, were late bloomers in life. Let’s face it. If you have not dated or did anything with girls, you are certainly going to be a bit uncertain about it!

“My problem is that I need more experience.” I don’t think so. I think the big problem (of which I, too, am very much guilty of) is not embracing my dreams for today and waiting for tomorrow. I would see a pretty girl and go, “No! Can’t ask her out! Got too much stuff to do this week!” This occurred throughout years. But as time passed, melancholy increased and increased until you hated being single. It was as if an internal pressure came. You go after women because the pain of being single is now greater than ‘ceding your desires for tomorrow’.

Is that what it has come to? The choice between lesser of two pains? Is this life? You didn’t live like that when you were a child. You used to explore, play, and try out new things! Why has life become harder and more unbearable?

Again, it comes to your context on ‘securities’ vs. ‘mistakes’. I ask, “What mistakes does a child make?” I’m sure you can think of something like forgetting to turn off the light, leaving the oven on, or something of the sort. This is from the adult’s point of view. From the child’s point of view, he wasn’t making any mistakes. Cut his finger? Hurt his leg? Tired out? No mistakes here! Why, he was exploring! Every child loves to explore. There is so much in life to see! A child, instinctively, knows this.

But we somehow overpower this when we grow older. When you say something *wrong* with a woman and she leaves, you think you made a ‘mistake’ and feel bad. Well, why do you have to feel bad? Everyone’s made mistakes before. So what?

Get that child’s perspective once again of feeling that the world was new when you were young. You are exploring with love and life, not making ‘mistakes’. And even the worst mistake is preferable to a lifetime embracing the greatest of ‘securities’. The zest of life is in the roll of the dice.

So look at your love life. Is it a life of ‘securities’ or is it a life of ‘mistakes’? Is it a ‘calculus of action’ or spontaneous?

Look at your financial life, social life, and even intellectual life. Are they leashed to ‘securities’ or are they free, wild, and allowed to explore?

“But Pook, my perspective uses the word ‘strategies’. Your perspective uses the word ‘securities’. We are saying the same thing but using different contexts. But we are both using the word ‘mistake’ in my perspective! Tell me, goodly Pook, what word do you use, in your perspective, for my label of ‘mistake’?”


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