I love approaching women! Here's a way to look at it:
We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.
Pook Version 1.2
In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.
So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.
"So... what you up to?"
"Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
"Oh... The same. Well, cya."
No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."
With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!
Pook Version 2.9
Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.
Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
She laughs. "Yes."
"Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
"Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.
Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?
The difference is,
1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.
2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.
The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"
The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"
Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"
Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.
Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?
You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.
No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.
This makes the difference.
Looks are more important to YOUNGER women. High school and college girls are more looks oriented.
"girls dont care too much about your personality at this age."
And what age are you speaking of, Bashful?
You'll be surprised how far a steady confidence will take you.
But I know this will not convince you. You think you've lost the lottery of life. I have some questions...
How can you be happy in a relationship if you're not happy being single?
If you want to be judged for your personality and not looks, do you, likewise, judge girls for their personalities and not their looks?
Whatever standards you have for women, they must be applied to yourself as well. Do you pursue a chick's personality or her looks?
I've been seeing this attitude of "It's all looks! Boo hoo! Woe is me!" If I had that same attitude, I'd be sitting in front of my computer every night, getting drunk, as my heart shrivels in the acid of bitterness.
Bashful, I have no sympathy for you. WOMEN are judged on looks much more harshly. When a fat chick whines, "Guys are just after looks!" You know what I say to them? "What are you going to do about it?" Usually these chicks either work out, make themselves thinner and more attractive or they turn into a militant feminist with a bitter excuse of a heart.
By letting their responses guide your actions, you are being shaped by your environment- in other words being feminine. This isn't attractive in any situation or age.
You are your destiny! What you do today shapes tomorrow. Think, dream, and never lose the name of action!
Three months from now, I want to come on this forum, and I want to see a post by Bashful saying, "Guys, this chick I am with IS AWESOME! Geez, I feel like the greatest guy in the world!"
You may think that's unrealistic. But on the Don Juan Forum, it happens all the time. Now its time for it to happen to you. But it will never come without ACTION and proper mindset.
We're behind you.
[Later on, reffering back to this post]
I now disagree with what I wrote there about the girls initializing dates/romance. I have never, in my life, seen a girl initiate a date for romantic interests. Girls will flirt to tell you they are interested, guys confirm your interest by asking for their number.
Just from observation, guys seem to fall in love much, much faster then girls do. The best defense I see from falling into infatuation so soon, so fast is to have interest in other women. This will prevent the she's-the-only-one-for-me disease.
Men want sex. Women want relationships. If they make it hard for us, then why should we not make it hard for them as well?
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