I think Chaucer visited this subject in the Wife of Bath's Tale. His conclusion was the opposite, that women wanted to rule, at least be soverign in their own choices concerning pleasing their guy.
I don't think it is a farfetched idea to say that women view men differently then how we view them. We keep thinking that it is two people 'coming' together. Nah, I don't think women view it that way.
When a girl eyes a potential mate, what is going through her head?
-How much does he make?
-What is his earning potential?
-Is he funny? Will he make me laugh?
-Is he interesting?
-What are his friends like?
-Where does he go out to do for fun?
-Other girls like him. Therefore, I must investigate him further.
As men, we don't think about these things. Sure, we want a cute girl and all. But we never look at a chick and go,
"She's cute, Paul, but she doesn't have the earning potential that I'm looking for in a girl."
"Wowza! She is hot! But I wonder what her friendships are like?"
"I dont' like her at all! But George does, therefore, I must investigate what there is about her if George is attracted to her."
We don't think like this. It would be comical if we did.
If a guy is super hilarious, super comedian, the women go,
"I LOVE you!"
If a guy has millions of dollars, even if she knows nothing else about him, she will go,
"I will marry you!"
What is going on here? Are women's 'primal survival' skills operating?
"What do you want?"
She shrugs. She hasn't a CLUE of what she wants. Apparently she wants whatever guy the other girls want.
Women do not see guys. They see worlds. They see themselves exiting this realm of Nature and entering the guy's world.
Having an aura of humor, or having lots of money, or being cute and all, these are all different worlds to the girl.
She isn't interested in YOU, not in the way we think of it. She is very interested in your world. In other words,
If a guy has no friends, doesn't go out and have fun, is a drifter and has no path to get money, she is NOT going to be interested no matter his other elements.
MIKE: "HELO! My name is Mike. I play video games hours on end."
CHICK: "That's nice but we need to talk about our relationship..."
GEORGE: "I am crazy and do whatever I want. I paint my car screwed up colors, paint my house screwed up colors, and wear weird clothes!"
CHICK: "OMG! I LOVE you! Let me marry you now!"
It is the world the girl is after.
How do successful men act with women? They bring the lady into their world. When they date (at the beginning especially), it is HIS date ideas, he gets to be as creative or dull as he wants.
And she will judge you based on the world you are creating for her.
Remember, she is going to be defined by you. There is a reason why she takes your name.
We can argue which 'worlds' are more appealing to others with the women (a crazy spontaneos world or a more stable less risk world or such). But one thing that is very true is that women, above anything else, desire the guy to be himself, to show his world properly.
Nice Guys and chumps, who do not create any world of their own but try to 'please' the women, are despised the most by women.
She may not know what she wants. But she DOES know that YOU ought to know what you want.
She will 'fall in love' with a guy, become intermeshed in his world, and his goals often become hers. It is not so much sovereignty she wants but a guy's world.
"But Pook! Let us say we compare a super rich wimpy guy to the cocky @sshole! The @sshole will get the girl! Thus, you make no sense!"
But the @sshole guys has 'confidence'.
What is confidence but the LINK between your world and yourself, between your DREAM and DAY?
Guys with no confidence can create no worlds. She will see the wimpy rich guy and think how she can use him, not love him.
Like a child, women want to be seized and shown the glories of life. She is expecting you to take her hand and whisk her away to adventures, excitement, and fun, a world of color compared to her boring bland arena of Nature she resides in now.
And this is how you become Prince Charming.
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Empty Vessels and Relative Truth
Bonecrcker #47 - Living in La-La-Land