Thursday, February 19, 2004

Bonecrker #50 - Escalating with Women

While it’s good to have a take it or leave it attitude, it’s also important to have the attitude of continuously testing the waters and trying to advance things. If you don’t, when she expects you to, she will lose interest/get pissed and wander off. The pattern goes something like this. If you look at a woman and she looks back, she is inviting you to be attracted and initiate things with her… smile. If she is receptive and smiles back, she is inviting you to come talk to her. If you talk to her and she seems to enjoy it, she is inviting you to get to know her, so get her phone number. If you talk to her on the phone and you “click”, she is receptive to being asked out on a date. If you are out on a date and she touches you, she is inviting you to touch her, so do so in an appropriate way. Later, try to hold hands with her. If she holds hands with you, she is inviting more intimate contact, so touch her hair. If she lets you touch her hair, it’s OK to try and kiss her. If she kisses you, then it’s OK to cuddle with her. If she cuddles with you, it’s OK to touch her more intimately. If that goes well, touch her sexually….and escalate from there. The point is to not skip any steps and always be testing out the next level of intimacy. This works best if you take your time, build anticipation and get her expecting/desiring the level of intimacy you already have. You do that by testing a little bit and then pulling back, pushing ahead a little bit more and then pulling back. She is in control about letting you advance but after she makes that decision, you are in control about when, and how much. That’s the behavior that separates a friend from a lover.


Previous Bonecrker Index Next