Thursday, March 24, 2005

EOTM: Fair Fighting

Fair Fighting

It is impossible to overstate the significance of this issue. Men generally have a deep, intense, and abiding sense of fairness and honor. Women, in general, seem to have no such unwanted restrictions on their behavior. ( I know there are exceptions, but like the "Mars & Venus" cliches, there is enough truth to justify the stereotypes. Simply note the gender of the person quoted below. I've never seen a man say such things.)

Trust is a lot like virginity, all it takes is one penetration and it is gone forever. The first time a woman hits below the belt she removes herself forever from the category of someone who will get unreserved cooperation, and instantly transforms herself into a creature of far less status and significance.

Here is one of those articles that the media is using to keep pouring gasoline on the flames of the gender war. This woman's attitude is inconceivably vicious. She basically says draw as much blood as possible by any means possible. If I ruled the world, this woman would be hanged for writing this article, because there is nothing that will destroy any possibility of a relationship *ever* working more completely than even a single incident of the type she suggests.

I like to hope that someday more women will understand how they destroy their own relationships and happiness. It would be worth the time for any woman to do some deep and honest soul searching to answer the question whether she has fights the way this woman suggests. If she has, then the man has every right to get back at her with any means at his disposal.

This is how women turn themselves into the moral equivalent of pond scum in men's eyes.

Nora Fox on Fair Fighting

Verbal fights are inevitable. Show me a woman with a saccharin smile who insists, "We never fight," and I'll show you the next bitter divorcee who will end her days working the phones at Century 21.

Women don't fight fair. Why should we? Faced with opponents who outweigh us, out earn us and whose community standing is undiminished with age, my sisters and I are forced to turn to underhanded tactics.

Being the superior sex, women long ago learned the surefire way to get our way is to withhold sex. It's the same way we train dogs. Good behavior merits a treat; bad behavior puts you in the conjugal doghouse for the night. Men never seem to catch on. After all, by the time we reach our sexual peak, men are running on fumes. How many times does one have to watch The Three Stooges to predict the outcome? Screw with Moe and get a poke in the eye, right? It's a sad commentary on Darwinism that sexual withholding still works after all these millennia. While it does, though, we'll keep turning our backs, thank you. It's the war-between-the-sexes equivalent of Biblically turning the other cheek.

Another useful strategy is the withering glance. Begin with eye contact; move own to the zipper. After making sure no camcorders are present. I often combo this with move with a disgusted snort followed by a teeth-clenched snarl. (Mirror work is helpful when perfecting this. There's one in your car. Go drive around the block and practice.)

I resist yelling. It causes fever blisters and gives the neighbors too much conversational material. Other tactics worth noting include; Crying. How lame. Come on, we can all be mom creative than this. Stick to what we do best. Mix & match logic. IF what you are doing isn't working, change the subject. Leave em' in the dust; not holding Kleenex.

Hold your partner financial hostage. Information is the gold of the 90s. Threaten to rat to the IRS. It's good insurance ‘til you decide to move on.

Remember fight or flight. Flight works. It's that distance/pursuit thing. My friend Victoria specializes in hanging up and jetting off to Hawaii. Her opponent was so mesmerized, he tracked her down and married her. 'They' re currently separated and living 500 miles apart...and still hanging up and building those frequent flier miles. Finally, taboos. If you ever want to see this person again, do not attack immutable parts of his anatomy And never, EVER, admit that you were faking it.

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