Saturday, March 26, 2005

EOTM: Men, Are You Sick of It?

Are you sick of the universal belief that men owe women something in return for sex, other than caring sex?

Are you sick of having to pay for love, affection, and sex by performing or promising to perform or with gifts or insincere attention while your own love is thrown away, devalued, and denigrated?

Are you sick of being manipulated and controlled by the threat of witholding love, affection, and sex from you?

Are you sick of swimming upstream against dozens of rejections to become sexual with a woman, only to find that by doing so you not only incur an emotional debt but also the obligation to meet her sexual needs regardless of whether yours are getting met?

Are you sick of women who think their part of sex is done when they show up?

Are you sick of being called a rapist, harrasser, and molester?

Are you sick of giving away all your power, your self-esteem, and your freedom in return for unsatisfying sex?

Are you sick of hearing how you think with your dick and not your head?

Are you sick of being set up to have to lie by being expected and demanded to feel differently than you do and if you are honest about your feelings having to get into a hell of a fight over it?

Are you sick of hearing women talk about "The Rules" and how women make the rules and men are expected to abide by them, and the belief that their moral superiority gives them the right to demand that we allow them to dictate to us every aspect of our behavior and even our thoughts and emotions?

Are you sick of being expected to "prove" your "love" over and over and to work long hours at a high stress job so you have the money to provide for her needs and buy her the expensive and romantic gifts she wants, stressing yourself out and making yourself half crazy, only to have her pounce on you and bitch you out for not meeting her emotional needs as well while you are emotionally starving to death?

If so, consider going on strike.

Men's sexual attention is so unwelcome and distressing to women that they are seeking to pass more and stricter laws against it, demanding improved enforcement of the laws against it, and more severe penalties for its expression. Let us begin to listen to them and, since they find it so odious, cease to bother and burden them with it.

Before you dismiss me as totally crazy, hear me out. The definitions of rape have been so expanded that it is no longer necessary to even have sex with a woman to be convicted for raping her. How many dates have you been on with a woman whose company was so charming and pleasant that it was worth spending years in prison, or even going to trial and having your life and career ruined for? How many women have you slept with where the sex was so bad, or costly, or simply a waste of time that it wasn't even worthwhile to go back to that woman for more of the mediocre same, much less prison? How many times have you ended up trapped in a totally unsatisfying relationship which didn't really meet any of your needs, sexual or otherwise, simply because you felt you owed her for having sex with you? How many times have you been told there was something wrong with you for not loving a woman enough when you'd knocked yourself out for her, then ask her for something and have her freak completely out over it and make you feel like shit?

If you were having regular sex with a warm, loving, and giving woman, you probably wouldn't be reading this page, you'd be in bed with her. Look back at what sex really has been like for you. Forget all the social bullshit about men liking sex. None of your buddies are watching inside your head. Have you ever shown interest just out of habit or reflex or because everyone around you was? Without everyone telling you how good it is supposed to be, has it been worth all the costs? If the answer is yes, you are one lucky man. If the answer is no, that should tell you something.

Women who hate sexuality in general, and men's sexuality in particular, are getting out of control. Women have used rape charges and accusations in the same way that they have accused us of using rape - to keep us in a perpetual state of fear. And women are fully aware of it. Now little boys as young as 6 years old are being labeled harassers, placed on probation, and forced to undergo social remediation for the innocent act of kissing a little girl, one who asked to be kissed. Our sexuality has already been stolen from us and devalued and used to manipulate us into commitments which are seldom to our benefit and always at our expense. Now it is being used to make us criminals and strip away all our freedom.

Something must be done to stop this runaway abuse of laws which were created with good intentions. Going on strike is a time-honored method for workers to gain leverage against the abuse of power. Men have been doing all the shit-work of being the sexual aggressors for a long time. Like the work of being the breadwinner, we shouldered it good-naturedly out of a sense of honor and responsibility, having been told that was our role, and because it used to have its rewards. The rewards have been gone for a long time, now it is being turned into a criminal act. Something must be done to stop this insanity before we end up being put in prison or forced to undergo "counseling" for the incredibly vicious act of saying "hello" to a woman or telling her we find her attractive.

This is Germany in the 1930s all over again. The feminazi party is rolling unchecked through our lives, our bedrooms, and is trying to control what's inside our very heads. It has gone so far that a woman can suggest "reducing" our numbers to 10% of our current levels, keeping the remainder of us around as breeding stock, and suffer less sanction than Earl Butz did for his public racist slur which ended his career. We are quickly being reduced to the level of farm animals; sperm crops. And, also like Germany in the 30s, the reason that the power of this destructive party continues to grow unchecked is that well meaning citizens do not see its monstrous excesses and oppose them. If someone does not begin to oppose the sexual holocaust, then all males stand the chance of ending up in a sexual Auschitz or Dachau. Like William Heatherington.

Supposedly there are millions of decent worthwhile women out there who want to love us and be loved by us. Maybe you know one or more of them. But there are also millions who hate us and want to destroy us: to remake us in the image of some social ideal based on nothing more than the rantings of fanatics and zealots who hate us. We need to moblize the ones who do not hate us to abandon their passive support of those who do, and the only way I know how to do that is to go underground like the Resistance did and watch for those who are motivated enough to get out and try to find us. When these women find good and decent men unavailable to them, when they can no longer safely sit back and let us take all the risks to find them and bring to them the benefits of loving sexuality, perhaps they will begin to rethink the social conditions which they have supported by their passive acceptance and active willingness to trust any woman more than they trust any man.

Either they will ante up the willingness to be true equals and share the power they have always had in sexual relationships and begin to share the risks we have always had to take to initiate them by respecting our needs and learning how to deal us in ways which are not completely obnoxious, or they will sleep alone. I, for one, am no longer willing to take all the risks necessary to bring them something which they supposedly want, but are unwilling to move one inch out of their own power postion or take any action whatsoever to bring about, paricularly when the risks now involve such major criminal penalties, and accusations which can destroy my career and my life are being encouraged to be falsified to serve "useful political puposes".

Enough is enough. It is time to give them exactly what they have been asking for. No, more than asking for, demanding.

Only by refusing to continue to do the shit work of initiation do we have a chance of slowing this insanity before we are all driven to suicide: as 4 times as many of us are today compared to 20 years ago. Only when enough of us gain enough sense of worth of ourselves and our sexuality that we demand that it be respected and valued equally to the sexuality of women, and that the criminalization of it and its exploitation via histrionic victimhood be STOPPED, will we again have the chance to live as free men.

Striking is easy. No dues, no meetings, no collectivist hive mentality, no pledges except to yourself. All you have to do is look inside yourself and decide whether you, yourself, have ever done any of these grievous harms supposedly done women and, if you have not, completely absolve yourself of guilt and shame over it. Inform yourself and find that most of those claims are outright lies. Honestly evaluate how well your past sexual experiences have really met YOUR needs, claim your rightful status as a human being worthy of getting those needs met, and make the committment to yourself that you will never again allow a woman to benefit from association with you who does not respect them as well. Stop providing women with the benefits of the best part of yourself despite their best efforts to destroy it.

Give them what they are telling us they want, damn it! For thousands of years we have been asking them to tell us what they want and they are telling us quite clearly that they want us to fear them and not find them attractive and not approach them. Listen to them! Listen to what they are telling us and heed them!

When you do, you will find a peace with and regain a sense of value of yourself that you have not had since you were a little boy. You will find that living without them is really less painful than what you have been doing. Step off society's treadmill which demands that you prove yourself by your success and avoid women who demand that you prove your love with expensive gifts which you must completely whore yourself to get/keep a high-stress job in order to afford. Stop putting up with the man-bashing which has become so automatic and predictable that it is part of every conversation, every television show, damn near every interaction that you have which involves a woman: which you can only avoid when by yourself or in the company of other men. Refuse to put up with it. Either ask the basher to leave, or leave yourself. Particularly do not put up with it from other men. Confront these "Uncle-Toms", these "house-niggers", and tell them that if they want to spit on their own manhood that you cannot stop them, but you will no longer allow them to spit on yours.

You can escape from this nightmare to a valley of serenity and sanity, if you will only let go of your need to support those who are trying to kill in you that which makes you real and turn you into a robot. What you offer them is not the vile, horrible, violent, exploitive thing they are making it out to be. It is not your worst, it is your BEST! Reclaim its value. Stop giving it away and feeling like you have to pay someone to accept it. If you do pay someone, make it a professional who negotiates a fair price up front, then gives you what you've paid for. We can never teach those who hate us to value us instead until we claim our own value. Even if they never learn, we will suffer less from holding onto it than we do from our current efforts to beg them to love us.

You can join the strike at any time, and drop out at any time, and rejoin any time. It is precisely the value of the individual which we celebrate, and of which we fight to promote acceptance, that distinguishes us from the collectivist thinkers who demand the sacrifice of all life to the fullfillment of their mentally-ill ideals. The sexual strike is not a pledge of celibacy. It is not sex-hating and sex-negating. It is sexuality affirming. It simply makes clear the absolute condition that all parties must accept and honor AND themselves affirm that value or they don't get to participate and enjoy its benefits at someone else's expense: YOURS!

Anytime you find a woman who loves and cherishes you for what you are, recognizes the way you know how to show love as the expression of the love that it is and shares her own sexuality with you freely and warmly and with no other expectation or obligation than to love her freely and warmly in return, drop out of the strike and thank whatever creator you worship for your great good fortune.

Until then, refuse to go more than halfway and spend no time waiting for a woman who hasn't already figured out that she needs to go the other half. If you cannot sit and wait, then go ahead and make the first call, but do not make the second, nor spend any time waiting for it. Respond to any woman who makes an obnoxious approach to you, of the type that women are so fond of bashing men for, by pointing out to her that she would likely find such an approach an obnoxious turn off and so do you. Do not feel obligated to find a woman attractive simply because she expresses an attraction to you and you are so desperate for love and sex that you will try to fool yourself into thinking yourself into being attracted to her. Never, never, never attempt to "prove" your love by buying an expensive and useless gift, putting money in the pockets of male jewelry store owners and employees so they can buy their wives expensive and useless gifts to "prove" how much they love them.

Redfine the "sin" of sex and change its spelling to SEN, which stands for "Sexual Equality NOW!" If you want to go "public", wear the slogans "On Strike for REAL Sexual Equality" and "SEN" proudly and talk to anyone who asks you about them.

Only we can reclaim the value of ourselves and our sexuality in a society which is determined to strip of us them and use them only to serve society's purpose of turning us into machines which do nothing but work and spend what we earn in order to consume.

We must stop stop the insanity if we can.


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