The struggle for dominance is a natural and normal part of human sexuality. There was this very funny joke on Star Trek the Next Generation, where Worf makes a comment that Klingon women like to throw heavy objects (with this introverted, lustful expression). What makes this joke funny is that both men and women in lust, yell, hit each other, throw things around and say nasty things to each other. Passion tends to leap out at odd times into unpredictable behaviour. This is the animal part of us refusing to be caged anymore. People in love fight a lot.
But abuse is something different. It is a weak, evil person attempting to make themselves feel better by inflicting suffering on another. It has sadistic and masochistic qualities. The people who do it will only do it if it is safe to do so. Men who do this tend to get drunk/high and then make up an excuse to beat their wives (substance abuse is a big, BIG part of abuse). Women tend to engage in protracted campaigns to get their partner to abuse them. The most common form of this is to be as disrespectful of the man as possible, especially in public. Physical abuse of the man is also very common. They keep it up until the man hits them. Then, they try to condition the man to hit them on a regular basis. Most importantly, they actively select only men that will beat them. They are very good at this. If they accidentally choose a man who won't ever beat them, they will make his life miserable and then abandon him.
The best, most effective way to handle abuse, for both men and women, is to nip it in the bud. Absolutely refuse to even give the time of day to anyone who even gives you the slightest possible suspicion they are abusive. At even the slightest hint of abuse, break things off immediately and refuse to ever talk to that person again.....no exceptions. This is important because abusers will test the waters with you by seeing if you will take them back. Make sure they find out that you won't.
This doesn't mean you break up immediately with someone just because you had a fight though. You will fight bitterly all the time with anyone you have passion with. It's the sadistic and masochistic qualities you are looking out for. Drug/alcohol use is a big red flag, as is any sort of criminal past. Especially look for any sort of past abusive relationships. Women that have been beaten by partners and/or raped, are big no-no's. It's extremely un-PC to say so, but most women who have been raped by someone they know went out of their way to be with a high-risk man. Again, drugs and alcohol are a big factor. You definitely don't want a woman like that. She will torture you incessantly for not being a rapist scumbag yourself.
It should go without saying that women who engage in child abuse/neglect deserve to be pariahs....accommodate them. They are completely unsuitable for even the most casual sexual fling.
Any woman that is any way involved with the sex for money industry (stripping, porn, prostitution, and politics) has 90% of her screws loose. This industry is all about letting someone beat them in exchange for cocaine, meth and other speedy drugs. Run very fast in the opposite direction.
Warning......the cycle of abuse tends to make both partners obsessed with each other. Obsession is caused by all situations where pain and pleasure are randomly doled out (just look at gambling, lol). If you fail to nip these relationships in the bud, don't be surprised if you discover you can't later give them up, no matter how bad it gets. Also, don't be surprised if your partner leaps out at you with a butcher knife from the bushes some dark night. Having evil people obsessed with you is a very bad thing.
Bonecrker Index Next
Bonecrcker #13 – DV Myths = Cold War
Bonecrcker #68 – Two Things That Men Need To Know About Domestic Violence
Bonecrcker #87 – Abuse Is A Game You Can’t Win
Bonecrcker #105 - Stalkers
Bonecrcker #180 - Sarcasm