Sunday, January 25, 2004

Bonecrker #25 - On Asshole "Game"

Being an asshole doesn't even work in the short term. Sure, alternating hot and cold will sometimes get a woman obsessed (the same way random interval reinforcement gets people hooked on gambling). But, just being a total jackass gets you nowhere. Some "game" guys say different. Based on what they say, they obviously have no real experience with women. What does work, and what these and a lot of inexperienced guys get mixed up with this, is being evil. If you are the type of guy who gets drunk and acts like a jackass in public, expect a lot of dateless nights. But if you are the type of guy who sells drugs, or gets drunk and beats a woman so badly she ends up in the hospital, or you've been arrested numerous times, or you are in a gang, these are the things that get you laid. That's not even close to being a normal thing and there is a very high price for aligning yourself with that intensely negative vibe.

If any guy thinks he is going to be successful with women by being a jackass, think again. Being a jackass is just the other side of the coin of being a wuss. The defining element here is lack of control... lack of power. Yeah, that'll get you laid... not. This is why it appeals to wusses so much. They think they can get their way by being an obnoxious wuss instead of a snivelling wuss. But they still haven't expended the effort or cultivated the power to not be a wuss (i.e. to affect the world rather than being blown around by it). Bad habits are the hallmark of that brand of nonsense.

Note that this is a hell of a lot different than being assertive or even aggressive in the face of a woman's bullshit. Women will call that behavior (i.e. not giving her her way) asshole behavior, but it's not. Most people who do this are very nice about it and treat people with love, dignity and respect, when they deserve it. They just don't take any baloney and they insist on things being on their terms. The typical asshole does none of these things. Instead, they treat women like shit, and allow women to treat them like shit in return. Their behaviour opens the door to the woman's behaviours. The assertive man does the exact opposite. He neither gives nor allows poor treatment. He never explains and never negotiates either. It's either his way or the highway. Women say they don't like that as a way to try and get away with something. But every normal woman loves that about a man.
.
Previous Bonecrker Index Next

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Related:

Bonecrcker #45 - Niceguys