Monday, May 03, 2004

Bonecrcker #125 - The Four Problems With Serial Monagamy

There are four problems with serial monogamy.

1) The woman won’t really be monogamous. Unless you are with her every moment of every day, she will sleep around behind your back, usually with high risk partners. If you ARE with her every moment of every day, she will hit on men in front of your face. This is really an issue of respect. A monogamous lover gets no respect.

2) Monogamy to a woman means she is setting you up for exploitation. Her ability to do that is very limited unless you are married. The pressure to get married will go up exponentially, the longer you are together. It tends to be covert, rather than overt. Very quickly, she will manufacture a reason that she HAS to move in with you. It will be very convincing (ie she will become homeless if you don’t help her). Worse, she will get pregnant on purpose. As far as condoms go, I’m sorry to say you have no choice but to use them 100% of the time and hide them so she can’t poke holes in them. You’ve been warned.
3) Despite the universal push for marriage, the relationship is time limited….several months to a couple of years….WHETHER YOU MARRY HER OR NOT! Being married and/or having children won’t change her sleeping around behind your back, one bit.

4) And most insidious….monogamy is a tool women use to make you dependent on them. As time passes, your seduction skills atrophy. Often, she tries to fatten you up, to make you less attractive…..anything to eliminate your ability to get another woman. She will then ration love, affection and sex, to get what she wants….and use the threat of abandonment to make you give in to the most unreasonable (unreasonable as in, having a boyfriend on the side, unreasonable). Eventually, she will abandon you. The point is, she doesn’t make you dependent because she wants to keep you (indeed, she will soon dispose of you). She does this because she is preparing to abuse you and wants to make it so that if you left, you would never get another woman.

It is a very bad idea to allow any one woman to become too important. Self-sufficiency, ability to choose among partners, and extremely low tolerance for bullshit should be your goals.

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Bonecrcker #40 – Relationship Phases

When She Asks You To Be Exclusive... Play This Song
(It also works to just say, "I don't think anyone should be exclusive for the first six months." -- But the above song is hilarious!) -- R.F.