Friday, May 07, 2004

Bonecrcker #129 - Eye Contact

People don’t make eye contact with strangers. Especially women, who know this is an invitation of sexual interest. It’s also not an ambiguous thing. She isn’t just looking back….she’s LOCKING gazes with you. Often, she is running her eyes up and down your body before returning her gaze to you and doing all sorts of other body language signals. If you talk to her, her response isn’t all business but she’ll probably try to engage you in further small talk or even flirt with you. Without the gaze, she probably just walks up and goes, hmm, he’s cute, and then goes on her merry way. But, with the gaze, especially if you nod, smile or even wink, that changes things. It elicits behavior from her. An uninterested woman will actually be quite terse with you (lol, 99% of them), break eye contact with you, snap her at you (wench), and rapidly leave. Truthfully, though, you won’t know it until you see it. But once you see it, you’ll always be able to see it.

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Cary (1976) discovered that the woman, through eye contact, controlled the course of interaction with a male stranger, both in the laboratory and in singles' bars. Perper (1985) gave a detailed description of courtship, stressing an escalation-response process in which women play a key role in escalation or deescalation. The steps in this process are approach, turn, first touch, and steady development of body synchronization.

Although these reports are clearly valuable, most researchers addressed courtship very generally, and some failed to recognize the importance of the female role in the courtship process .What was needed was a more complete ethogram of women's nonverbal courtship signals. To compile such a catalog of flirting behavior exhibited by women involved in initial heterosexual interaction, more than 200 adults were observed (Moore, 1985) in field settings such as singles' bars, restaurants, and parties.

Research has shown, therefore, that the cultural myth that the man is always the sexual aggressor, pressing himself on a reluctant woman, is incorrect. -- Courtship Signaling and Adolescents: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"? Monica M. Moore, Ph.D.Department of behavioral and Social Sciences, Webster University



Bonecrcker #48 – Sexes Approaching Eachother

Bonecrcker #122 – The Advantage The Big City Has Over the Small Town

Pook #26 - On Embracing Sexuality 

Zenpriest #18 – The Designated Initiator

Eye Contact Game - Chateau Heartiste