Monday, April 05, 2004

Bonecrcker #97 - The #1 Mistake Most Men Make With Women Is... Talking to Them

I think you are making the number one mistake that most men make with women. You are talking to them. Trying to have an honest, equal, intelligent conversation with them is like me trying to explain to Pushkin that terrorists, Nazis, and Satan worshipers are bad people…..a fruitless endeavour. The problem is, they’re nuts and most of their mental power is focussed on rationalizing their nutty behavior. They will take every avenue to twist the truth in ways that are amazing to behold, and God forbid you should pin them down and dissect exactly what they are doing…..they hate you forever for it (and just keep on, keeping on). What’s the point?

Quite frankly, if you don’t want something from her (and let’s face it, that means pussy), then you shouldn’t be talking to her. If she shows no interest in giving you what you want in the near future, you should not be talking to her. Now, let’s say you want something from her and she is giving you major signals that she wants to give it to you. You need to talk to her. However, keep in mind two things. First, within reason, the less you talk the better. The more you listen to her, the more a brilliant conversationalist you seem (they are COMPLETELY self-centered and only one subject is a guaranteed hit…..themselves). The less you reveal about yourself the better. Women don’t love you, they love the fantasy of you and all that revealing just bursts their bubble. The second is anything you do say should be completely goal focussed. Think about this. You want something from her. The things you say to her should have the goal of opening the path to her giving it to you. If you are talking about something (rather than inane small talk) or explaining something, you have drifted away from your goal and are fucking up.

When talking to women, there are three things that should be coming out of your mouth. Inane small talk about something unimportant that you are both observing. Open ended questions about her. And various techniques for fostering attraction (for example, David D’Angelo has an excellent series on this). If one of these three things isn’t coming out of your mouth, you are probably explaining something or arguing. Although it’s satisfying to be heard by someone, it is fostering a negative image with her and every other woman observing you with her. You are driving the pussy off with a stick. Sad, but true.

Previous Bonecrcker Index Next



Bonecrcker #51 – Don’t Argue With Women

Bonecrcker #93 – She’s Lying

Bonecrcker #95 – No, no, no, no, No, NO!

Bonecrcker #110 – The Problem With Discussing Things With Women

Bonecrcker #113 – Everything Out of a Woman’s Mouth is a Lie

Social Strategy: Why Men Shouldn't Argue with Women