Thursday, March 11, 2004

Bonecrcker #70 - She Expects It To Be This Way or She Won't Respond To You

The issue isn’t if you want to be a player. I’m no player and I think men who are players are pussies. The issue is what will the woman demand of you. Make no mistake, she expects you to do it this way or she won’t respond to you. Her attitude is you must be ready to go when she wants and not before, and you are to fuck off the other 99% of the time (she will actually say this to you……fuck off). That’s her attitude. I didn’t make things that way. I don’t particularly want things to be that way. I have zero control over her being that way. She Chooses It. Not Me. I have two choices, accommodate her or do without. I choose to accommodate her. Note, that she absolutely won’t say things to this effect. She won’t TELL me these things. She’ll expect me just to know them. Disrespect is what she will give me if I don’t know or if I say no to this way of doing things.

So, what does the woman want me to do? Two things: The first is to read her mind and know when she is ready (and to fuck off if she isn’t). Wonderful. What a fucked up thing to want. This means I need to have ways to know what’s on her mind but I can’t actually ask her. The second thing she wants is she wants me to fish for her, not to hunt for her. What I mean by this, is she wants me to set the stage for her and act enticing, but never to go after her and never be aggressive. So, I must initiate everything but I can’t in any way be pushy. Great. This is also fucked up in now I must set up things so that stuff can happen but it has to seem like an accident and I have to initiate things but constantly monitor her to make sure she is actually the one who chooses when we move from one step to another, even though I am the one actually doing the behavior and God, help me if I get it wrong or miss a cue.

It really is only productive to have dates at your home because only here can you properly set the stage to make things happen. Initial dates are usually outside the home and only have the goal of making her comfortable enough with you so you can have the real date, which is at your home (ie, until that date at your home, any relationship you have with the woman is meaningless to her….it means zero, zip, nada, not a damn thing to her). Actually, until you fuck her for the first time, you don’t have a relationship. You mean nothing to her until then and are barely a step up from some stranger she has met on the street…..even if you’ve known her for 20 years (I have learned this the HARD way….over and over and over again).

Once you have the date alone, at your house, that’s when the building of your relationship can begin, and not before. If she is there, at all, she is there for that reason, and, often, having sex for the first time is on her mind, as the starting point. Will she say that or own up to that if asked? Nope. Will she act that way? You bet your ass she will.

What a woman wants. What she will demand of you and punish you harshly if you refuse to provide it, is a chance to be alone with you, in an intimate, romantic setting, where you can spend time together, preferably doing something together and pretend that things just sort of happened.

Should you be pushing for this to happen? Absolutely not. Should you set the stage and invite her to spend that time with you? You must….or she will get rid of you. When should you do this? After you have established that you are 1) safe, and 2) interesting. What does it mean if you’ve done all that and she says no? It means you have no chance with her, never did, and never will. Be VERY suspicious of any woman who wants you to take her out places and do things for her but isn’t getting intimate sooner rather than later. The whole point of dating is to quickly get to that first date back at your place. If she isn’t doing that, she isn’t with you for the reason you think she is.

Now, if you have a female “friend”, what this usually means is she is romantically interested in you but doesn’t think enough of you to make you a lover, so she keeps you in reserve for years, until she hits a dry spell. This is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because, often, if you set the stage correctly, she will make the transition from “friend” to lover with very little effort. But, it’s also a curse in that she has very little respect for you. As long as you focus on setting the stage for her and make it seem like it was her idea, she’ll probably have sex with you. But, expect all sorts of wild, wacky behavior afterward, followed by being dumped after maybe 2 or 3 months of wild sex. After this happens a few times, you will realize that these women are not your friends and never were.

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Further Reading:

Bonecrker #69 – That First Date At Your Place